THERE ARE NO YUMMY THIGHS!

The problem with San Francisco is that summer weather is beastly. And summer came early this year. Instead of an extended period of warm weather, we have cold. Here it is, the very middle of May, and in other parts of the country warm zephyrs gently stroke the downy cheek.

Boston: mid-seventies.
Dallas: low seventies.
Detroit: mid sixties.
Los Angles: mid sixties.
Miami: low eighties.
New York: low to mid-seventies.
Sacramento: nearly seventy.
Seattle: mid sixties.
Tampa: mid-seventies.
Las Vegas: eighty five degrees.
Washington DC: mid seventies.
Woodbury, Georgia: mid seventies.

SAN FRANCISCO: 46 DEGREES!

And dropping fast.


You've heard of Raynaud's Phenomenon, haven't you? With Raynaud's Phenomenon, due to tension or more often cold weather, circulation in the fingers and toes completely shuts down, leading first to a drained whiteness in the affected areas -- what we may affectionally refer to as "scary Zombie hands" -- then, within ten minutes or so, cyanosis, which makes the hands look like they were fished out of the East River.

Per Wikipedia:
"It is a hyperactivation of the sympathetic nervous system causing extreme vasoconstriction of the peripheral blood vessels, leading to tissue hypoxia. Chronic, recurrent cases of Raynaud phenomenon can result in atrophy of the skin, subcutaneous tissues, and muscle. In rare cases it can cause ulceration and ischemic gangrene."

There is a lack of tactile sensitivity, and an unpleasant numbness.
Plus an icky sensation of tightness in the finger tips.

This can be alleviated by holding the fingers under the hot water tap, folding the hands around a nice warm beverage, touching a woman who won't slap you (or a man, if you are a woman), cupping breasts and gently twiddling pert nipples (sadly, no corresponding equivalent for women), or firmly clenching hands together between one's own thighs, then curling up in a fetal position and pathetically whimpering about the beastly! cold.

As I type this, I cannot feel the keyboard.

It's so buggery cold!


Again, from Wikipedia:
"Some refer to Primary Raynaud's disease as "being allergic to coldness." It often develops in young women in their teens and early adulthood. Primary Raynaud's is thought to be at least partly hereditary, although specific genes have not yet been identified.

Smoking increases frequency and intensity of attacks, and there is a hormonal component. Caffeine also worsens the attacks. Sufferers are more likely to have migraine and angina."

Smoking? Check. Caffeine? Oh heck yes.
And I am young at heart, at least.
But not a teenage woman.
Thank heavens.


I cannot feel the G*&amm3d! keyboard!


Where, I ask indignantly, are the warm zephyrs?!? I was told that there would be warm zephyrs! If there are any nice young ladies who wish to engage upon a mission of mercy, I should be keen to know. Please use the 'Letter Box' below, OR the comments field, to inform me.

Zephyrs!

In the meantime, I'm going to bed early. I've got a lovely down comforter, plus fuzzy blankets and stuffed animals.
Tomorrow is another day.




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