MANIPULATIVE EVEN AT THE BEST OF TIMES

This post is for Rabbi Yuter. Who may not know precisely why it is so.
But I suspect that it would not surprise him. Years ago Savage Kitten, who was my girlfriend at the time, obsessively watched a Canadian television series about a handsome blond vampire on the Toronto police force, his love interest in the coroner's department who was trying to cure him of both heliophobia and haematophagy, and his somewhat doofus allrightnik partner. No, it was not a documentary.

In the series, the crime squad detective was named Nick Knight (real name: Geraint Wynn-Davies. Repeating that name (or his actual nomen) in a low sexy whisper would make her squeal.
It still does.

Since then she has been incredibly fond of Canadians.

And I hasten to point out that there is much there of which to be fond. Numerous television shows have been produced in Canada, and both story and talent employed are usually better than the turgid spew made on this side of the border, good lord can you believe that crap? Infandous!
Admittedly, most Canadians are close genetic relatives of Burke and Hare as well as the Yeti, and bathe regrettably rarely -- maybe once every fortnight, if the drain isn't clogged -- plus the rates of syphilis and cretinism are disturbingly high, but they make great television.

She's never been around them when they're drunk.
Perhaps that's it.


Maybe she needs exposure to the dark side of Canadians; that part of their gestalt and weltanschauung which shows them to be grim and depraved, almost Scandinavian in their poisonous dullness.
Praise-singers of meaningful sh*8.

GLOOMY AND ANGST-RIDDEN

Much of the Northern Hemisphere is filled with depressive alcoholic types, who when sober veer toward brutal philosophies and I doubt that people who eat their own boogers in grade school ever grow up to be gourmands.
The educational video below shows their later life.
It could be Norway or the Baltics.
But it isn't.


THEY MIGHT BE CANADIANS!


[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sON0He2mTC8#t=490.]



Sorry, I got distracted by my apartment mate (the aforementioned Savage Kitten) yacking on the phone with her snoogums about Charsiu buns. When we split up, we decided to keep living together -- because we're kind of used to each other's peculiarities and still get along -- and she eventually got involved with some dude in a wheelchair. Who can't ever come over to visit, seeing as our place is uphill, and upstairs.
They talk on the phone. Being a hardened old grouch, cooing sounds and other icky noises like that make me sneer and frown.
I don't trust monkeys either.

I actually rather like the Canadians. In addition to Kids In The Hall, they also have The Arrogant Worms. Jolly good stuff. Witty.
Canadians are naturally rather cheerful types.
Not degenerate or alcoholic at all.

Except for Justin Bieber.

Anyhow, watch the clip.
It's very Canadian.




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