CAFFEINE: YOUR ALTERNATE PERSONALITY

Several years ago Savage Kitten told me about an office meeting that got disrupted by a late arrival, who proffered as his ridiculous excuse for such insensitive tardiness that the line at Starbucks was exceedingly long.
She wondered if that person had his head screwed on right.
I volunteered that it was screwed in. Not on.
Somewhere dark and clammy.


The true caffeine addict plans ahead.


Two cups of coffee to start the day. Tea after bathroom, shave, shower. Then some more tea. And later on, even more. The coffee gets you up to cruising speed, the tea ensures that you maintain proper altitude.
Dosed up and spaced out gets you through the day.
If you are a woman, don't shave.

The enlightenment and the industrial age would not have happened without caffeine. Prior to that time Europeans drank ale or wine from sunup to sundown -- because ditch water would kill you -- and most Northern Europeans were soused by the afternoon. The Latins were often asleep at that time, and due to the deleterious effects of wine, more of them died of heat apoplexy than should have been the case.

Within a mere two generations of caffeine being introduced, Europeans were well on their way to brutalizing the whole world. Plus they suddenly realized how much they hated being unwashed and living in a dump.
How ironic that some of them moved to the Midwest!

The Alhambra water ran out yesterday. We think that the cooler is leaking into its base. Two full jugs have disappeared.

I have discovered that Marin County water is perfectly drinkable, especially after it's been microwaved. Four Oolong teabags, four Bo Nay (普洱茶 'pǔ ěr chá', dark and strong, from Foojoy).
I was high as a kite by the time I got back to SF.
Full of vim and vigour. Piss and vinegar.
Beans, baby, just bouncing.
Vibrant!

I rather like being wired to the tits.
It makes me feel alive.

More caffeine with dinner.

Of course, I had not had nearly enough sleep the night before (only four hours), so judgement and sanity were both stretched mighty thin.
At times during the day I caught myself gibbering.
Lucid and logical, yes. Eloquent too.
Unnatural, and insane.


*      *      *      *      *

It goes without saying that I had mental background music in my head for much of that time. Stately men in harem pants with ridiculous hats.

Chanting, and piercing oboes.

Ha'idi, yalla!


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