FIRST AND ONLY VEGAN RECIPE ON THIS BLOG

The tough he-man cowboy dismounted from his stallion, fixed himself some chamomile tea, and, once thoroughly refreshed, set to work preparing his favourite meal; a butch manly meal of epic taste!


TEXAN TOFU AND CORN CHIP CASSEROLE!

One eighteen ounce bag of vegetarian blue corn tortilla chips.
A sixteen ounce container of mild lime and jalapeno salsa.
Four cups vegetarian cooked pinto beans.
Two onions, chopped.
One TBS ground cumin.
One TBS chili powder.
One TBS cornstarch.
A pinch of nutmeg.
One pound of extra-firm tofu, cut into large cubes.
A 12 ounce bag of shredded soy "cheese".
Half a cup of soy "bacon" bits.
½ cup cilantro leaves for garnish.

Preheat oven to 450F. Dump the corn chips in a casserole and set aside. large baking dish, and set them aside. Put beans and salsa in a large saucepan, and heat them over medium heat, stirring, till quite hot. Set them aside. Sauté onion in a skillet till golden, for about 5 minutes. Set aside.
Combine cumin, chili powder, and cornstarch in a large bowl, dust the tofu all over with this mixture. Fry tofu cubes on all sides until crispy and fragrant. Remove from heat.
Ladle the bean and salsa mixture evenly over the cornchips, and sprinkle the soy "bacon" bits over the top. Add the tofu and onions on top, and layer the shredded soy "cheese" over all.
Bake in the oven till the "cheese" melts. Remove from oven, and garnish with cilantro before serving.

This is about as macho as it gets.

And totally Texan vegan!

Shiveringly!


I had to wrestle a hysterical Republican housewife to the ground for the recipe, which she got from a rabid coyote, who bit the specimen of ultra-mascu-woo Texan manhood to death.
He died most painfully.
But replete.


ADD SOUR CREAM!

Being a total wuss, I would replace the tofu with ground fatty pork, the soy "bacon" and soy "cheese" with real bacon and real cheese, and the blue corn tortilla chips with boiled buttered noodles. Then add half a cup of Sriracha hotsauce (or more) plus lots of freshly chopped jalapenos.
A lime squeezed over, and everything served up sloppily.

I am not bloody-minded enough to be Vegan.

Nor in any way like a Hobbit.

It wouldn't work.




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