INSIDE A CRISPY CRUST...

Two Germans came into the dim sum eatery while I was dawdling over coffee, and one of them asked the counter-woman what they had that was vegetarian. At which point, had I been in a volunteerish mood, I would've spoken up and informed them that "nur wenig hier ist vegetarische kost, den die Kantonezen sind ein fleish-liebende volk" - 'there is very little here that is vegetarian, as the Cantonese are a meat-loving people'. But had I done so, I would have been involved in a three-way conversation between them and the counter-woman, who already knows that I speak enough of her language to order......

I am fluent in English, and also in Netherlandish.
Everything else fades into frustration.


…… 因為廣東人好鍾意食肉！

And by fluency I mean that I can discuss food, pipes and tobacco, history, and cultural-political factoids of the world. Plus serious literature like Wind in the Willows ("De Wind in de Wilgen"), a famous book by Kenneth Grahame ("een zeer geprezen boek geschreven door Kenneth Grahame"), and many of the works of Nabokov ("en vele van de romans van Vladimir Vladimirovitsj Nabokov"), who is mostly better known and appreciated in the English-speaking world than elsewhere ("die meer gewaardeerd word in de Engels-talig wereld dan elders").

All of my points of reference exist for me in English. This is natural, as it is the one language I have used multiple times a day for most of my life. Yet most of what I keenly appreciate exists in foreign terminology. And many of the words used to describe these things in English are also foreign.


柳林中的風聲 ……

For example, explaining that wu tau gok (芋頭角) is made from wu tau, which is taro, known to the Romans as Colocasia....... okay, none of those three names is a native English word. In Dutch we might describe it as "een knolleke uit de Aronskelk familie, als voedsel veelal gebruikt in Zuid-Oost Azië en de Polynesische eilanden".
A little tuber from the Arum family, used as food, commonly in South-East Asia and the Polynesian islands.

No, I will not attempt any of that in German.


It's hard enough speaking English to people who don't know what I am talking about. It would be both irresponsible and cruel to attempt that in languages that I've barely mastered.

Best to simply sit in the back, sipping my coffee and observing the happy chaos.


Caffeinated beverages, snacky things, smoking a pipe, and reading, are, perforce, solitary pursuits. Few people are avid about any of those things, fewer still all four.


It's very lonely out in the desert, gringo.



AFTER THOUGHT

No wonder I'm not dating anyone. I haven't met a woman who has read both W.i.t.W. and Nabokov, or keeps her own list of interesting books that perhaps shows a quirky literary taste. The other three things seem to be mostly man habits in any case. Yet a tolerance for at least two of those peculiarities would be very nice.

I would place a personal ad if I thought it might work.

"Snarky badger seeks small furry companion."
"Must like meat!"

I'd probably get nothing but middle-aged gay men looking for daemon-lovers that snarl and bite. Or hate-mail from humourless activists outraged at my impugning the noble animal-Americans, who surely are all peaceful and spiritual, because only upright apes kill other creatures for food.
Most non-animal-Americans seem irony-impaired.
Many of them are somewhat witless too.
And obsessively dull.

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