CHINESE NEW YEAR: THE MENTAL FEAST

This coming weekend marks the shift of years in the Chinese world. And, consequently, it is probably a lousy time to find something to eat in Chinatown. I suspect that many of my favourite restaurants will be closed, at least for one day, conceivably a full three days or even an entire week.

It will also be a crappy time to get a haircut; that's bad luck, and many barbers will not bother re-opening till the second week of February at the earliest.

Most bakeries won't start baking again till Tuesday or Wednesday.

These aren't fundaments of my belief-system, but as an inveterate Chinatown food-snarfer, I must perforce keep such matters in mind.
If I were an aficionado of Vietnamese food, the same would hold.


I am, in fact, a white guy.

Just in case you were wondering, white guys are described in this post: Chinese and Westerners.
It's a good guide to the genus, and you are encouraged to read it.


My long-time apartment mate is Chinese, and will, in consequence, be walking on eggshells. I suspect that her boyfriend may end up having a hard time of it, as he is not super diplomatic, and, being somewhat Asperger in his approach to life, the universe, and everything, tends toward literalism and blunt truth. So does she, but to a lesser extent. She's a little more normal.
I, on the other hand, am close to being neuro-typical.
And I'm a fairly subtle creature.
So I'm cool.

I also have no Chinese relatives to be concerned about, or to make me worry what the family plans are this year. Nor do I need to be apprehensive about surprise revelations -- who really must get married, which building is being sold, or where the family get together for the new year will be INSTEAD of where everyone was told to meet -- and, being white, it doesn't matter that I'm single; I shan't be getting any leisi anyway.

[Leisi 利是 (also called 利事)，or hong bao 紅包 in Mandarin, are packets of lucky money which the older people give to the kiddiewinkies, and which married folk give to their not-yet matrimonized kin. Within the family it can be quite an amount, and it is as unsubtle a way of putting the young folks in their place as any. Sort of a "here, junior, you aren't married yet, and why not, please don't talk, you don't rank very highly" said with money. Little children love it. It's more cash than they had all year. Boys frequently get more than girls.]


If I were Chinese, I would be married by now, and have teenage kids. The house would have been thoroughly cleaned in preparation for the new year, matched scrolls would have been prepared for either side of the front door, and I would be worrying about where all the money is coming from. Because celebrations are always more expensive than planned, and there's always a relative who must be aided, so that he or she can also fulfill their obligations at this time.

My wife would probably be tense, seeing as a lot of cooking will have to be done for the end-of-year feast on the last night of the Snake, and that food will have to last into the new year (Horse), as one isn't supposed to cook on the first day.
And there's always a sister-in-law whose version of Buddha-Jumps-Wall ('fo tiu cheung' 佛跳墙) or Bhudda's Delight ('lo hon chai' 羅漢齋) is far more scrumptious than anyone else's...... which her mother-in-law will artlessly point out, in the spirit of prompting "necessary" self-improvement and trying harder next time.

By the end of the first week of the festival, my wife might be seething with resentment, which she would keep bottled up inside. Firstly, it's bad luck to say negative things (unless you are an elderly matriarch, in which case you can get away with darn well anything), and secondly, to whom could she speak of it?
Certainly not to me, because I would be expected to respect my parents.
I might even feel obliged to ignore all problems, and put my mind in a locked-down state of denial for the duration.
La la la I can't hear you.

A Caucasian wife would probably be sublimely oblivious to every intended "unintentional" slight or sneer from the old mother, which, contradictorily, would be a source of great frustration and irritation to me and mom.
I could even have to apologize for her ignorance.



But, as I stated, I am neither Chinese, nor married.
Which might be the very best of both worlds.
No obligations and complete freedom.
Instead, I get to observe.



No, I shan't frantically clean house. Might acquire some fruit or flowers before new-year's eve, and consider eating Mexican food on Saturday. Light a stick of incense close to midnight, just to clear the air, and as I may have mentioned a few weeks ago, take a short walk so that I am the first person entering my door in the new year.

For the rest of it, I'm taking it easy. If my apartment mate is out (as I expect her to be), I'll be reading and snacking. Probably won't smoke as much while at home, so that she has no cause to find fault or accidentally utter any bad luck remarks, but I'll make up for it by swilling tea like nobody's business. My home is a sanctuary.


Looking forward to wishing several people well in the first few days.


新年快樂、歲歲平安、生意興隆、萬事如意。
San nin faai lok, seui seui ping on, sang yi hing lung, maan si yü yi.




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