I AM THE BOGIEMAN

At some point the old abandoned church at the corner of Larkin and Clay will be torn down, and replaced with a multi-storey condo building, with on-site parking for tenants. Which is sad, because I can remember when every Sunday the grim Lutheran congregation would populate the place. And tie up street parking.

Every neighborhood needs an abandoned church.
Lutherans, not so much.


"Where will you be this evening?"

"Near the old church, loudly smoking a pipe filled with a stinky Latakia mixture. Which keeps away the young layabouts with the cans of American beer, as they are non-smoking vegetarians, and, generally speaking, a bunch of wusses, easily scared by adult smells and sounds."

Well, that's not a conversation that ever could happen, as I usually ambulate around the neighborhood, and the young wusses would probably be scared of an abandoned church building anyway.
What with having read vampire comics as little children.
And being sensitive and modern and all that.
They've seen what's on television.
Wildlife frightens them.
As do smokers.


When I enjoy a pipe in the evening it's usually outdoors, as my long-time apartment mate is a non-smoker. And one must be considerate of good apartment-mates, they are incredibly hard to find.
I like her, and more crucially, I trust her.
She isn't around during the day, and doesn't come home until after six. Except for those evenings when she's seeing Dingus (a.k.a "Wheelie Boy", who is her love interest). But I often let the place air out for a minimum of three hours so that she won't notice anything when she returns. Often, between four and six PM, I head over to Chinatown for a snack and an hour of people watching. Or I'll end up at Sue Bierman Park listening to the parrots racketing in the tall trees for a while.
There are also crows in parts of the city. I like crows.
I have, perforce, become somewhat solitary.
Not entirely by choice.

One of these days I should hang out in front of the church, before they tear it down. They'll probably rip out the trees next to it too, and then put up large signs saying "no smoking within twenty feet of building".
So that whoever occupies the condominiums won't be offended.
And come screaming out, waving civic statutes.
Or be scared by the local wildlife.
Which includes me.



Enjoying tobacco is horrendously anti-social.
Just like clubbing baby harp seals.
Did you know that?


Wusses.



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