Sunday, September 30, 2012

CAT ON A COLD LINOLEUM FLOOR

All kitchens should have a table.  Not only is it utilitarian, but it's sexy.  Those firm legs, that smooth flat surface just waiting for an opportune towel.........
Yes, second to beds, tables are the sexiest furniture.

She shuffled into the kitchen while it was barely light outside.  Winter mornings were cold, so cold!  The bathrobe and pajamas didn't guard entirely against the chill, but at least the kitchen was warm.  The rest of the house felt icy. 
She sensed a presence in the kitchen.
Was it another person?
A wild creature from the nearby woods?
Was it, perhaps, a big savage hairy bear, that would rippp! her clothes from her juicy hot body, drench her with honey, then li-li-lick her clean?
And tickle her till she screamed as she lay on the floor panting?
Eeeeeeeee!

Nah, just the cat.
Stupid cat.

The feline came over and rubbed against her legs.  Cats are incredibly sensual, and this particular exemplar had come in heat recently.  She had heard it yowling last night, sounding for all the world like a sex-crazed socialite demanding another bit of bling for every bang.  Come on boys, the more the merrier.  Just drop the diamonds in my purse.

Miaow.

Skanky little harlot.  Acting all affectionate.  All it wants is someone who can operate a can-opener. Once it's had it's breakfast, it will go off and find the nearest wealthy tomcat with esteem issues.


While the cat ate, she switched the coffee machine on, and sat on the table munching cookies.  Good to get ones feet off the frigid floor.  Her slippers dangled as she swung her legs, and one rabbit fell with a fwap onto the linoleum, startling the cat.
Randiness, apparently, makes creatures twitchy.
She waited till the cat had resumed eating before angling her foot just ever so.....
The other slipper slid.....  slid.....  slid....
Slapped down hard.

FWAP!

The cat screeched and jumped.
Kept watching her for the rest of it's meal.
Cats in heat have good reason to be wary; it's not just humans who do stupid things because of randiness.  But the irony was that the cat was warily watching the human, who didn't even have a sex life.
Perhaps living at home and never dating wasn't wise?
She really wanted to be drenched in honey.
And then tickled till she screamed.
Right here in the kitchen.
Sometime!

On the other hand, she liked having dad around, even if he left early.
And this part of the house was warm and had a table.
A coffee maker was good on cold mornings.
And the cat was very nice company.
A ball of affectionate fur.


Even if she did go out and bang all the neighborhood toms.


Purring slut.



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