Underneath recent postings on this blog one of my regular readers advocates riotous orgies with strangers, or something similar.
He represents a kinder, gentler era – the freewheeling irresponsible casual sex with random people and drug-sniffing dogs while wearing beads and tie-dye life-style of the flower-power years.
I’ve seen the photos and documentaries of that period, and there is much that appalls me (not least the clothes).
He wrote:
“I found myself downtown - San Francisco, at shortly after sunrise. The streets were full of fantastically attractive young women wearing "cocktail hour" type outfits and carrying high heels, walking barefoot and somewhat "worse for wear" looking, disheveled etcetera. Perhaps I witnessed a plethora doing "the walk of shame" after a booze fueled , one night stand. Sort of like "Urban National Geographic on 'San Franciscan mating rituals' or something." What think?”
What did I think? I thought that attractive women would still be asleep at that hour.
His response indicated that he did not quite catch my drift.
“Absolutely!....and likely asleep somewhere expensive, eh? A truly beautiful woman is not likely to have the necessity of being out early. Some smitten man is likely "taking care" of her. Life is different for them.”
Come again?
EXPENSIVE SLEEPING
There are many women who do not wish to be taken care of.
Independence is something to be appreciated; it does not detract from beauty, but adds to it.
And being smitten may, in fact, apply to both parties in any case, and should not have an implication of being 'taking care of somewhere expensive'.
Furthermore, a woman wandering around zotsed, barefoot and somewhat worse for wear is not “fantastically attractive”.
Not at sunrise, not at any hour of the day.
If it was a “booze fueled one night stand”, she probably looks more nauseated than anything else. Whether it was the liquor, the man in question, or belated regret over her complete lapse of sense and judgment that sickened her may be up to question.
Getting bombed should not precede amorous activity, nor inspire it.
My comment about 'still asleep at that hour' implied that whatever may have happened during the evening before should not interfere with being somewhere safe and comfortable, and being able to remain there till a civilized time of day.
CASUAL SEX
There isn’t anything intrinsically wrong with casual sex, provided it’s with someone you know and trust, and with whom you do actually have a relationship.
The two of you might, for instance, decide that there’s just enough time before the guests arrive for a quick bit of totally superficial whoopee.
And why not?
It’s your dining room table, and you can always put out a different set of plates.
The problem is casual sex with someone unknown. Shared intoxication is just not enough to establish reasonable familiarity.
At the very least, does the other person have a proven track record of NOT being Jack (or Jacqueline) the Ripper?
Not knowing your partner turns it into a version of Russian roulette.
She might be Charlie Manson’s reincarnation, or he could be Nurse Ratchet cleverly disguised.
Another thing wrong with the picture my reader painted was fantastically attractive young women in cocktail dresses and high heels roaming the streets at five in the morning.
I find this very disturbing.
It's far too risky for a woman, and just asking for trouble.
If anyone is going to roam the streets at that hour in a cocktail dress and high heels, it should be him.
It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Let’s face it, the whole 'humping like rabid ferrets after alcohol and midnight pizza' paradigm exemplifies horrible decision-making.
It doesn’t say anything good about the people involved, and certainly proves that they are lacking in some respects.
Far better that they should see each other a few times, perhaps for tea and cake, or dinner and a movie.
In due course the two of them can then decide that the relationship has reached a certain stage.
Either requiring more cake (and more tea), or something else.
Holding hands, or parts of each other.
At a reasonable time of day.
Or, if it DOES happen in the middle of the night, happily looking forward to enjoying breakfast together.
Not fleeing the apartment looking distraught and wearing cocktail dresses.
Happy sex means liking the other person’s company.
Not having hangovers and indigestion.
Remember: tea and cake. Not booze and cheese pie.
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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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4 comments:
Ah, fantastic! "The sleeper has awakened!" Its so good to hear your voice finally come alive again. Actually, "Achi from another mother", I have been hoping to incite your mind back into action via affectionate (in a purely masculine manner of course!)teasing etc as I have been unable to be physically present. Your posts have rather caused concern, eh? Well, as things (G-d willing!) improve, perhaps I'll be able to discuss my devious idea someplace where decent schapps is served (although I still can't have a cigar).
Kol tuv, GLICK UND GESHUNDT,gam Shabbas Shalom;
R
I had one experience with casual sex in San Fransisco. While both of us might have had a few glasses of wine, we were not drunk. I ended up driving with her girlfriend to some place in Marin County. ( I think it might have been Marinwood, but this was almost 20 years ago.) Anyway, we had a fun evening (even though I had to do a lot of fast talking to get her to actually do the deed.) In the morning, I had to pay for a cab to get ne back to my hotel in San Fran, it cost me $50, and that was in 1995, god knows what that cab ride would cost now.
What was a drag was that I gave her my address, but it was at work, and I was working for the government at the time, and this happened in early December, right before the government shutdown. So she might have sent me a card or something, but I was not at work, and I completely lost touch with her. It;s a shame, she seemed like a nice person, and she was a hottie.
Alas, I am now married, so while I might want to hook up with hotties in San Fran, it's probably not the best idea.
Hey Chaverim,
The Adi Guru Granth Sahib is now available in English (although not yet in Hebrew) on line!
R
Sometimes life is a series of nonsequitors.
Sometimes the sequitors segue a little too well.
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