Occasionally this blogger runs into statements that make him wonder at the sanity of the world. Utterances of staggering bladebla uttered with such studious neutrality that initially no one notices how utterly useless the observation actually was.
Such as this doozy.
QUOTE:
"Exposure to the conditions found in space induces rapid changes in living systems".
Let me repeat that:
"Exposure to the conditions found in space induces rapid changes in living systems"
"Exposure to the conditions found in space induces rapid changes in living systems!!!"
It takes a rare genius for stating the obvious to have written that sentence with a straight face.
Exposing the average two to two hundred pound animal to a vacuum has, in fact, a rather startling result:
SUDDEN RUPTURE.
The liquids and semisolids are no longer containable by the envelope.
Much like what happens when you puncture the lid of a can that has gone bad, or, for example, try to pop the lid off a bottle of Malaysian-Chinese shrimp pickle that has spent far too long on the shelf before reaching the consumer.
Muck everywhere.
Fortunately, in space you will not have to wipe shrimp goo off your face, or comb shrimp eye-balls and entrails out of your hair. Just wipe your visor clean, and it will go floating off into the void.
Same goes for your colleague, if he decided that the space-suit was too constricting. He wanted to be free, unbound! A sudden fit of nudism! Huzzah!
Say, what was that part of him that just went past?
I think it winked.
"Exposure to the conditions found in space induces rapid changes in living systems"
The great thing about the flying organic muck released in the vacuum of space is that it will have virtually no smell. Entirely unlike that bottle of Malaysian-Chinese shrimp pickle, which was rambunctiously fragrant.
For something to stink, there must be atmosphere.
You don't believe me?
Go ahead, prove it for yourself.
Take off your helmet.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
3 comments:
"It's kind of like being in Belgium".
Oh come on, they're cute! Dont be mean to 'em!
You mean the space bears, of course.
And yes, they are rather cute.
I’m surprised that no toy company has come up with stuffed huggable versions yet.
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