Due to the continued mental instability of the Head Roomie (ms. Bruin), the small she-sheep with the little pink bows (Angus) has been appointed acting Head-Roomie. She will be assisted by the magenta cat (Beanie) and the big black hand-puppet spider (Pierpont).
The senior teddy bear is no longer up to the task.
I'm sure you understand.
Not quite a mental break-down, but definitely too much stress.
Ms. Bruin is very upset that the other human person in the apartment spends so much time with her boy friend.
And I can understand that - what is this world coming to when a woman devotes more attention to some werewolf in a wheelchair than to her oldest companion in the world, that being the teddy bear she's known for longer than anyone else?
For the past several months, ms. Bruin mutters "must kill, must kill" every time his name is mentioned. This obsession with pushing Wheelie Boy off the end of a pier reached crisis proportions over the weekend. She didn't chastise the Froad at all when he hatched a plot to whack one of the other fuzzballs, just snapped "what EVER" and went back to her murderous muttering.
Very disconcerting, I assure you.
Just can't have chaos among the critters. It ain't right.
Something had to be done.
Not all of the little anarchists are happy with the decision to appoint Angus (that being the she-sheep) acting head roomie. Several insisted that they were in fact more suitable for the task, being older, and clearly so much wiser. That last assertion is contradicted by their behaviour heretofore. Thieves, rabble-rousers, rioters, and incendiarists!
They'll just have to suck it up. Change is in the air. This is a good thing.
And no, we will NOT hold a vote on this. We're not running a democracy.
I have authorized Angus to clout dissenters fiercely if they start anything.
Things will be peaceful, or else!
AFTER THOUGHT
The plan to lure Wheelie Boy to the end of pier by laying down a trail of Swedish Princess cake has been shelved temporarily. Logistical issues.
The intended victim would require a plate with one of those little pastry doilies on it for each slice, as well as a clean fork for each serving, and a serviette.
And he probably can't eat more than a few pieces before being full, unfortunately.
"Ooh, what's this? A slice of Swedish Princess Cake! Joy! Ooh, what's that? Another slice of Swedish Princess Cake! Yay! Oooh, and is that ANOTHER slice of Swedish Princess Cake over there? Oh happy day!"
So even though I offered to bankroll ms. Bruin's purchasing of the entire supply of Swedish Princess Cake from that nice bakery in North Beach (up to four hundred dollars worth), he wouldn't follow the lure all the way to the end of the pier. Ms. Bruin will have to think of something else.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
6 comments:
Dearest darling, any murder plot that involves Swedish princess cake is bound to fail. He is Russian. Perhaps vodka would be a more appropriate lure.
Teddy Bears can’t buy hard liquor in California.
It’s the law or something.
Probably just as well – nobody wants small drunken critters rioting in the streets and causing a panic.
Teddy Bears can get fake ID, just like the rest of us.
Don't forget to grease the wheel chair brake pads and make certain that he's seatbelted in before he hits the water. Intoxicated victims are SO much easier, eh?
Vito
Slow-moving target. Does the bear know how to use a gun?
Wait, the recoil would break her shoulder. Better use blow darts.
more ideas
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