PIE FOR FINKELSTEIN
I'd like to start a thread here (just making myself at home, sorry BOTH. Just another pesky Jew colonizing a blog and displacing the indigenous population).
Norman Finkelstein, self loathing Jew and enabler of anti-Semitism is talking at UC Berkeley next week.
On his blog he comes out in favor of "pie-ing" as protected free speech.
Since Israel, truth, and pie are all relevant to this blog, I'd like to ask the readership?
What pie for Norman?
I'm leaning towards pecan, since he's just plain nuts, but Bavarian cream has a certain poetic justice to it as well.
I've been doing my research, but I still can't decide.
"During the last great wave of pie-ings in the late 1990s, a British pie company, Tesco, actually tested all its varieties for aerodynamics, crust dispersion and creamability. For best results, the company recommended egg custard, lemon meringue and anything with a fruit filling. "All our pies fly extremely well," company spokeswoman Melodie Schuster proudly told The Wall Street Journal."
Any suggestions of a pie for Finkelstein?
Well, the first thing that pops into my head is tofu cheesecake (several recipes here), primarily because while it goes down smoothly, it will inevitably give you the runs. Tofu cheesecake is better than most laxatives in that regard, and proves, once again, that white folks messing with tofu are responsible for a lot that is wrong in this world. Tofutti, tofurky, tofam, tofalestinians, tofacon, tofu dogs, tofu ice cream, and tofu spam.
If you really want tofu, eat it with meat sauce.
MA PO TOFU (麻婆豆腐)
One block firm tofu (14 oz).
1/4 lb ground meat.
2 TBS chili paste.
2 TBS Szechuan hot bean paste (laat dou fan jeung 辣豆瓣酱).
2 TBS regular oil.
1 TBS chili oil.
½ TBS Szechuan peppercorns (fa-chiew 花椒,alternative name: san-chiew 山椒). roasted and finely ground .
½ Tsp fermented black beans (dou-see 豆豉) soaked and mashed.
2 scallions, cut to 2 inch lengths.
2 gloves garlic, chopped.
½ TBS soy sauce.
Quarter cup stock and a jigger of sherry.
Pinch of sugar, pinch of cornstarch - blended in a little hot water.
Cut tofu into chunks, blanch in gently boiling water, drain. Sauté the ground meat, garlic, and spicy bean paste in the two oils till the meat is no longer pink. Add the chili paste, dao see, and soy sauce, stir around to mix everything, then add the tofu, stock, and sherry. Cook, gently stirring (to prevent the tofu breaking up) for a few minutes, then add the fa-chiew, scallions, and the pinches of sugar and cornstarch which have been blended in a little hot water. Stir a little longer and plate it.
On second thought, even Norman Finkelstein doesn't deserve tofu cheesecake. Nobody does. But what would be utterly perfect is three day old Blue Peeps Pie (recipe here: Horrid Goyish Treif).
You will have to age it three days yourself. Or longer. Unrefrigerated is good.
You might also wonder what other colours of peeps for perverted pie would be appropriate - I favour the blue ones, because it would painfully remind the rat and his acolytes of Israel - especially if you sprayed whipped cream on the pie before serving it to him. Several days before serving it to him.
But any colour would do. Even red, black, white, and green (maraschino cherries, soft licorice, cool whip, and chunks of lime jello - think of it as Palestinian Ambrosia Salad).
Please discuss. And bon appetite!