SMELL MY HAIR!

Americans have a hair fetish. I realized this yesterday afternoon when I went to Walgreens for some shampoo. If it weren't for the American bosom-fixation, there would be no naked-women porn at all, just lots of glossy pictures of coiffures, and late-night wig stores all over the place.

The Walgreens near the office has an entire aisle of shampoo. It just does not have any normal shampoo.
It has products with tea tree oil, herbal extractives, lavender, blossoms, fruit essences, frootiqueries, lactobang, egg-yolk and verbena, sandalum alba, olive oil, vitamins E, C, A, mineral supplement shampoo, environmental shampoo, extra shine, therapeutic, deep-cleansing, soothing, ayurvedic, yin-yang, ylang-ylang, blonde bombshell super-mane, dyed hair, soft hair, delicate hair, dry hair, fragile hair, insecure hair, special hair, and office bitch from hell attitude hair.
Multiples from several different manufacturers, including the Japanese.

It differs from the Walgreens near my apartment, which has at least three nice unstinky shampoos for 'normal hair', and not very much else.
You might think that I would simply hold-off until I got back to my own neighborhood and buy a familiar product, but you would be wrong.

I cannot go to the Walgreens in my neighborhood.

It isn't because I propositioned a nice teenage clerky-poo behind the counter, or exposed myself in the aisle with the pads for the elderly. Nothing like that at all. Nor have I developed an issue regarding the large spotty spectacles-woman who manages the place.
I do not go there because that entire intersection is filled with street people, drawn by the bright lights of a drugstore which is open till twelve, the magnetism of two insta-tellers, a movie theatre, liquor stores and restaurants, and a discount tobacco centre which is open in the evening.
The frenetic buzzing disturbs me, I'll Walgreenize near work, thank you.


So I bought the most unfroofroo shampoo I could find.


GILLETTE CLEAN AND REFRESHING SHAMPOO - 'with refreshing mint'.


I am willing to try something new. Even hair mint.


A brief note about the bathroom. See, the shower thingy doesn't work, hasn't functioned for ten years. I could get the manager in to fix, like the last time, but it doesn't seem worth it for something that, in theory, I could do myself, but haven't. So instead, Savage Kitten and I take baths and rinse off afterwards by dumping buckets of water over ourselves. The net result is the same.

And perhaps I should also explain that mint not only refreshes, but sometimes nips, stings and tingles - especially on the squidgy bits. Of which, sitting in the warm water while lathering my hair I slowly became aware. Acutely. A sensation of increasing warmth, tingle, and itch, in a place where at the time I did not want either warmth or tingle. Or itch.

This is not a problem that can be solved by simply standing up, as the mint extractives which cause the issue will still be in the water droplets pearling the naked body. And standing up abruptly with the eyes closed is not a good idea - not in a bath tub.
I can see the headline already: "ambulance hauls away naked minty man", or "nude breaks leg due to crotch itch".
I do want to be famous, but not that way.


It reminded me of a time when the shower still worked. Years ago I used to bottle my own hot sauce, made with Scotch Bonnet peppers and Habaňeros. I would go through pounds of chilies, cutting them open to check for rotten spots before dumping them in the blender. Doing so one day, at one point I needed to visit the powder room. Meh, no problem, wash hands thoroughly with strong soap, two or three times, before.....................
I spent an hour under an ice-cold shower that day. I remember it well.


Anyhow, the minty component of this new shampoo is not quite in that league. Not enough to cause accidents by a long shot. And I do indeed feel clean and refreshed. Oh boy do I ever.

I want to sniff myself.

Mmmmm, zesty!

I smell good. I am fresh. Oh yes!

I like how I feel - I will keep this tingly product.

I can't wait till Savage Kitten discovers the new shampoo.