Thursday, October 30, 2008

DOUBLE-DUTCHED

Some of my readers disturb me. I cannot even fathom what odd search on the internet brought them to my blog, and judging by some of the things they write, it is entirely unknowable if they found what they were looking for.


Drugs? Sex? Large men wearing horse heads and cut-away chaps? Beef stew?


It is very much baffling. As, indeed, are the comments they place under some posts.
I'm not referring to Grant Patel and his unique point of view - I know where he's coming from, I think - but rather some of the anonymi and near-anonymi.
The people who are not Grant Patel, who always writes in English.
Other people.


Such as the person who wrote this:
Zingbats der hoopten dutchies. O ja. Ja bezicherds. Wir willen noks das tu bainsulted die frummer dutshen, dey iz die bester poopel in der world. O ja. Vould ich gegegen du liest? Ober guntser nein. Dutch di biyutifullest lengevidje aalzo. O ja. Du a grosser meaner man!

---Grompter Puntillish



The dear lord only knows what he thought he was writing. I certainly cannot figure it out; I doubt anybody can. Perhaps mr. (miss?) Grompter Puntillish used a translation program. He left it under this post: ENKELE VLUCHTIGE OPMERKINGEN, which is entirely in Dutch. What Grompter Puntillish (mr? mrs? miss?) wrote was NOT in Dutch. I think he (she?) is reacting to a perceived denigration of the Dutch - the words 'bainsulted' and 'meaner man' in the comment suggest this possibility.


Grompter Puntillish may be labouring under a misapprehension. I would never insult the Dutch, in fact I hold them in the highest esteem. How could I do otherwise? After all, I spent the best years of my youth living among them in their lovely little country, their language is both second nature and sixth sense to me, and many of my closest friends are Dutch.
The Dutch, in actual fact, are a remarkably civilized lot. I would never write anything insulting about them.
As Grompter Puntillish says, they are bester poopel.

6 comments:

Spiros said...

"Bester poopel"? Is that some sort of Poopbeast?

Anonymous said...

Looks like valid Dutch to me, but what do I know? All those continental gibber-languages look so alike.

It is almighty hard to beleive that they all come from stppe-Sanskrit. What were you all smoking there in the middle of the Eurasian landmass?


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Bester poopel - sounds like something a priest would do to an altar bouy.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Or something the Altar Boy would do post-priest.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Vos bister Aler boy? Is ez sumkaindo yunger goyisher treifer? Und werummes artu ober es getalking? Tu, a groisser sheisser in deinem geshiftiness. Ja.
Und segging howdy boy after ein woch not on dieser blug.


---Grompter Puntillish

Anonymous said...

Ah, it is soooo obvious. Grompter has seen the light and speaks solely in tongues. Too bad for the rest of us that it's all incomprehensable. We might have learned the true meaning of life. Darn.

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