RACHEL FROM S.A.D.

You've probably read here that I always answer my phone in Cantonese because of the Spam calls. The Indian, Paki, or Bangli spamcenter employee who can understand that language probably hasn't been born yet, I do not have a telephone-based social life, and everybody who might need to call me in the medical field can speak Cantonese, and could get through to me anyway. One call I get several times a day from several different numbers is 'Rachel From The Senior Advisory Desk'. She's all over the country. Not just meth-head trailer parks in the Deep South or Texas.

[Actually, Georgia has more meth-head trailer parks than any other state, even California and Texas. Georgia is very scenic, well-worth a road trip. They've got peach cobbler, and biscuits'n gravy. Plus fried green tomatoes. Delicious!]

The assumption that I am a senior is something I keenly resent.
My head still works fine bitch, thank you very much.
A few parts of the body are "problematic".
Those are sports injuries, okay?
All athletes are stiff.
Fact.


The Senior Advisory Desk wishes to alert me to upaid burial expenses, quite illogically, because if I answered the damned phone I am quite obviously not deceased.

Asking "are you there?" or "can you hear me?" is NOT a test.

Which idiot wrote the script for these robocalls?


Starting a phone call with 'hello can you hear me' or 'hi this Rachel from S.A.D. are you there' is totally incorrect. Now, if they started with 'Hello Bob this is Irmgard, we spoke last Tuesday about waffle irons' they might get a little further, because who isn't passionate about waffle irons, or, for that matter, any kitchen hardware?


By the way: I do not need a waffle iron. I leave my waffles as wrinkled as they come out of the dryer. I strive for that culinarily rumpled look, because it emphasizes that I am a single man, without a long-suffering white Protestant woman doing all my housework for me.
I am very Bohemian and carefree. And unattached. An artist!


Me speaking English won't help you either.
It almost never does.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================