IN PRAISE OF MAYONNAISE

Over face-elsewhere I posted "The UK Green Party has formally become an anti-Semitic organization. Which is very European of them. Almost Russian, even. Or Irish." A friend commented: "Why?" My response: "No, we're NOT going to happily pretend that you are ignorant."

It is impossible that a European who speaks better English than many Americans could be unaware of the underlying historical facts, especially as he himself has already indicated that his sympathies lie with the Arabs and plainly considers Israel little more than an extension of Trump's pentagon. Besides, he's Scandinavian, and consequently must be assumed to be too damned civilized to have any affection for Jews. Or any other minority than the Muslims. As has sadly been demonstrated abundantly for two or three decades.


Shan't say anything about negative about Scandinavian cuisine as a formative influence on their sneering dislike of everything outside of rapist cultures, as that would be quite unfair. They can't help it. Dried rotten fish would turn anybody.

Now, the proper Christian thing to do would be to tolerantly play along with his obtusion and just pretend that he's dense as a brick. As a Dutchman (Dutch American) that would be very easy, as I charitably assume that most other Europeans are kind of stupid and uninformed. But I cannot credit a fellow whose English is perfect, who has shown that he is reasonably well-informed, more so than the current generation of students at Berkeley, and who does actually have a functioning brain and a sense of humour, with being an idiot. I am not that gentle. So instead I'll just have to accept that he's a Glasgow Celtics fan with an unholy thing for Greta Thunberg. Sick, but what can you do? Probably needs years of therapy.

I'll pretend patient understanding of his illness.
Supposedly it takes all kinds.

We visited Scandinavia when I was still a child. Which I fondly remember. It was my first introduction to fermented (rotten) herring, boiled sheepshead), and blodpannekaker, with everything smothered in mayonnaise. People with any Dutch DNA, even the tiniest fraction, are biologically programmed to appreciate mayonnaise, so of course I enjoyed the region.

Never-the-less I have avoided lutefisk, boiled sheepsheads, and red-hued Scandinavian pancakes scrupulously since then. Even the generous addition of mayonnaise does not entirely make any of that stuff edible. Any Scandinavian pancakes, really.


My mother got horribly seasick in the fjords. While we were moored.
Something wrong with her stomach. Not food poisoning.
Some people get horribly motion sick.
Maybe it was the water.


I wonder if the Norwegians and Danes have discovered Flygande Jakob yet. It probably goes great with mayonnaise. Probably the very best thing you can do with chicken, bacon, peanuts, and bananas in that dank and ghastly environment.
Can be made kosher and vegan.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================