BIG PETTY DO

My apartment mate is home today because it's Washington's Birthday and her workplace is closed in worshipful observance thereof. And she's getting over the flu, so she's still in her pajamas, sipping tea with ice cream melted into it. While listening to bridal disasters on the internet. I'm in my pajamas too, having slept late. I still haven't got dressed, but I'm planning to step out in a little while to walk around a bit and smoke my pipe avoiding people.
She will spend the entire day avoiding people.
She's good at that.

We're both cackling at times over some of the bridal stories and everything that went wrong. American brides seem to be psycho, and a society that encourages big flashy over-the-top bankruptcy when two people tie the knot may have issues.

We both agree that the proper response to a request to participate in the planning and organization merits just one answer: "Heck no, I will be in Thailand that year." But you don't even know when we're doing it! "I'll be in Thailand that year." Can you please organize the bachelorette party? "No, I shall be in Thailand that year!" Help put together the guest list? "Thailand." Go to the dress fittings with me? "Thailand." Bake the cake? "Thailand." Flowers? "Thailand." Can you recommend a photographer/videographer/dee-jay? "Thailand."

No to all of the above. Hire a damned wedding planner.
We will be in Thailand. And we're rabid.
Wild dogs couldn't drag us.
Thailand.

She is an attractive single Cantonese American woman, middle age-ish. I am NOT a single or attractive Cantonese American woman. Grumpy Dutch American male, and let's not focus on my age, shall we? Neither of us are in a relationship, or social enough to be asked to help anyone's flaming trip into glammy wedding hell. No bachelor or bachelorette party planning or participation. No bridesmaid or groomsman duties. No tacky friends likely to spiral uncontrollably into bride or groom zilla mode.

In fact, although there have been at least three weddings in my social circle in the last decade that I know of, I haven't been invited to any of them. My brilliant cousin's kid the movie director got married about fifteen or twenty years ago. I was invited, but didn't go.
He's gotten divorced (didn't attend that either) and is now hitched to someone else.
Which I didn't find out until last year.


My apartment mate has strong words about the wives of two of her brothers.
So she isn't likely to willingly attend any weddings ever again.

Neither of us have ever been to Thailand.
But it's always an option.



The more I think about it, despite her not liking spicy dishes particularly much, myself having a distaste for hot climates, and neither of us liking tourists -- especially the sex-obsessed vulgarians and Jeffrey Epsteins that flock to Thailand -- Thailand would be a damned fine place to spend a year avoiding American weddings. A lot of people there do that.

It's almost like the country was meant for it.




==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================