BUBBA AND COUSIN BOB

What happens when an urban area in the centre of the country gets cut off from the internet for several hours? Within moments there is civil discord, irate cell-phone users who can't hear me now storm police lines, hordes of fentanyl-addicted Karens burn down trailer parks, and children who have escaped from infant and childcare facilities while their minders are distracted run around biting the ankles of innocent people, infecting them with rabies and fetal syphilis.

Or to put it differently, having seen plenty of news articles and commentary from zombie heads on teevee, I ain't ever planning to visit the rest of the country.
I know what most of America is like.


Between the Oakland Hills and Martha's Vineyard, there's nothing but run-down Detroit neighborhoods, methamphetamine factory trailer parks, moonshine stills in towns where every vehicle is up on cinder blocks, pizza places where they put squares of bright yellow rubber processed cheese on spongy dough before selling it to the business or cosmetology students at their state colleges, alligator-infested municipal golf courses, and gated communities guarded by mercenaries and ex-cons paid in blood money.
Plastic doodads, bubblegum-snapping illiterates.
The Real Housewives of Podunk.

I am avoiding the "Christian Heartland."
It's horrid, Texan, and diseased.

Comcast, which is hands-down the worst internet provider in San Francisco, seeing as they are a monopoly, had a service outage in my neighborhood for nearly an hour. So instead of doomscrolling with a cup of coffee I used the paint program on my computer and drew an idealized version of the city.

The cup of coffee was there. Just not accompanied by news about the latest in Trump spew or MAGA outrage. Or Texans losing it over an invasion of Islamic preachers and real-estate speculators. Much like two years ago they had their panties in a bunch over Asians buying up suburban properties near nuclear power plants and chasing all those Mexican illegals from their million dollar mansions which is why Bubba and cousin Bob where living on the mean streets of Houston in their rusty pick-up truck and couldn't get a job.
Them migrants done bought up all the housing!
No wonder the price of eggs is high!



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