GREAT DESTINATIONS

For at least the last ten years I have not been to the mall. Things have changed. In some parts of the world malls are destinations because of air conditioning, food courts, and bubble tea. In San Francisco, or so I've heard, malls are where rabid animals compete with goth skateboarders for tourist heads. As well as the last bastions of great American food like California pizza, gluten freeze, and vegan hotdogs.

Or something like that. The point is that no one really goes there. Whatever happens at the mall is on a foreign planet.

Once upon a time there were bookstores and tobacco shops at the mall.

No one had even heard of twenty four hour gyms.


There's a mall down on Market Street where no one goes, and another underneath four towers of corporate law offices and investment companies at the end of the busline.
Also one at the end of the streetcar line. Westwood? Westgate? Westpack?
Someplace with zombies dressed in pastels from suburbia.
Also probably a Wafflehouse or Denny's.
As well as an Original Joe's.

Malls are where hip coffee joints and ramen houses go to die.

Boys, if you've lost the grumpy Dutchman demographic, you have failed. Losers.
You are not even halfway cutting edge. We add cheer and vibrancy.

Have you considered luring us back with herring?



NOTE: This post written while preparing some fishcakes with spicy sauce for lunch. That may have something to do with the subject matter. Fish cakes, chilipaste, minced fresh ginger, and crushed peanuts. Genius!



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