LAVA FLOWS

When hearing about the volcanic eruption in Iceland, one naturally thinks of pizza. And there are parts of the world where pizza is a horrid abomination. Three offending countries come to mind: Canada, which invented Hawaiian pizza. Israel, where corn and tuna pizza is the most popular combo. And Sweden, with pizza Africana, which includes bananas, curry powder, peanuts, and chicken.

Okay, California pizza is pretty damned awful too. Not the real pizza, but that weird chain that does new age stuff. And the Netherlands once had split pea soup pizza with sliced smoked sausage, but that was more or less a tongue in cheek promotion which thank heavens never caught on. There are also New York (flat greasy roadkill) and Chicago (an oily acid indigestion casserole) which is blah goo served bubbling in a flat chum bucket.
But bananas, corn, pineapple, tuna, chicken and peanuts.
Good grief.


Shan't even mention people who have ranch dressing with their pizza.
I don't think they even qualify as civilized humans.
Tribal sorority slags from Iowa.

In lieu of ranch dressing, may I suggest hot sauce?

Left over pizza with Sriracha truly is the breakfast of champions.

Especially if there is anchovy and bellpepper on it.


The fact that there aren't any pizza restaurants open at six or six thirty in the morning, in this neighborhood, is downright a crime against humanity. It makes one think kindly of New York, where pizzerias are open twenty four seven. There you are, walking the poodle or smoking your pipe in the grim chill of dawn, when you realize that the perfect way to start the day is with a hot slice, cheese, salt, chilipaste. And why is that so hard to find?


Ranch dressing deserves to be burned.



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