According to some silly quiz on the internet, I am best suited to New York, or would feel most at home there. Which is utterly ridiculous!
Insulting, even, and totally soul-crushing.
I hate their pizza.
And, as I understand it, it snows all the time except when it's boiling, tobacco taxes are exorbitant, and the natives are arrogant pricks. Plus, having seen the Seinfeld show, Friends, Sex and the City, and several Wood Allen flicks, I am certain that the place is devoid of civilized values. Everyone is some version of slut-whore-pretendeur.
Two Broke Girls. And that really says it all.
Can one dine well in New York?
Or is everything some miserable variation on leaden baked goods, greasy fake Italian, and heavy old-world sludge?
Do they even have Chinese food there? Isn't is it all just that electric-hued ChungKing sh*t that New Yorkers like?
Historically, the only good thing in New York was Wilke's, a pipe and tobacco store located on Madison Avenue until the late eighties.
New York, Shmew York.
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