Monday, October 05, 2015

BREAST AWARENESS

This being breast cancer month or something, it seems appropriate to mention mammary glands. Now, being a man, naturally I know nuttin' about titty, but my apartment mate is a bonafide woman -- no, we aren't connected that way -- and has two of her own.

She was talking about someone who had had the breasts augmented when much younger, and consequently now has big long-ass dugs out to here! Which, of course, is an ailment common to many white women, especially celebrities in Hollywood.

Seeing as I pay absolutely NO attention to celebrity women, that isn't a characteristic I had noticed. Most celebrities tend to be dumb as bricks, and their stupidity is pretty much the only noteworthy thing about them.
But I'll take her word for it.



She and I agree, however, that there are only THREE reasons to have breast surgery. Three, count 'em.

ONE: cancer.

TWO: reduction, to make them more manageable.

THREE: an extraterrestrial creature is rupturing forth from your sternum, in which case breast surgery may be a misnomer; pest eradication would be a better term.

We came to this mutual conclusion after prolonged discussion. Then we spent several minutes dwelling on aliens that might grow beyond the larval stage in the chest cavity.



In conclusion, pay attention to breasts.
Doing so could save your life.




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