STRANGE STUFF THAT COMES OUT OF CHINESE PEOPLE'S MOUTHS

As many of my readers know, I live with another person.
For two decades we were in a relationship.
That ended over a year ago.
We're still living together because we still like each other, and we trust each other.
We get along rather well.
I'm white and a little deaf.
She's Chinese and remarkably soft spoken - which most Cantonese people are not.

Yesterday I heard her say "I'm starting to really dislike white pubes".


You can imagine my surprise. Twenty years with me.
And she's now seeing another Caucasian guy.
Bit late for that to be an issue.

"I'm starting to dislike white pubes"

I can somewhat understand the sentiment, but it does seem a little strange.

You might think that she would've had that stark realization before now.
Maybe she saw the two exhibitionists that join protests in this city?
They're unmistakably white, and visually unrewarding.
That could've been the final drop.

As it turns out, she didn't mean 'white pubes'.
What she actually said was "white Buddhists".
You know, Caucasians going all gooey spiritual and sh*t.
Mantras, chanting, beads, butterflies, and all kinds of meaningful.

I don't know if I should be glad it wasn't what I thought.

White Buddhists are far worse than most white pubes.
Some white pubes are kind of nice.
Won't get too detailed, but...
We can all agree on that.


"I'M TALKING STOP SNEEZING!"

Simple, straightforward, and utterly berserk. Obviously, if the child is sneezing when the mother is speaking to it, the child is doing it deliberately. Disobedient!
The woman then accused the kid of learning that in school.

Sneezing classes, hah!

Teenagers!


YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!

The bus going into the downtown was absolutely packed, we were jammed in cheek to jowl. Every time somebody need to get off they had to struggle to get to the door. Morning bus rides are an adventure. Heck, just trying to breathe on the municipal sardine tin in the morning means you're rudely pushing against someone.

Riders are understandably tense and grumpy.


Half the passengers were elderly Cantonese heading into Chinatown, the rest were commuters going to work in the financial district.
When we stopped at Stockton Street, the old Toishanese gentleman behind me loudly addressed the bus.


"Your attention now please! All Chinese get off bus here. Everyone with blonde or brown hair have to stay behind, go work, pay lotsa taxes, and support the government, big corporations, war in Iraq. Thank you!"


It lightened the mood considerably.
Probably exactly what he intended.
And the bus was much less full when it started moving again also.


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