PINK PANTY EMERGENCY!

A friend recently had a man-purse disaster. The can of carbonated energy drink in his satchel ruptured, and the liquid sloshed around happily without him noticing for several blocks. It's a sturdy waterproof bag so he didn't find out till he got to where he was going. Where I saw him disconsolately swabbing out the inside of the bag with glass cleaner, surrounded by the Essential Material Goods he carries with him every day.

Those E.M.G.s say a lot about the man.

Sunglasses. Toothbrush and two kinds of tooth paste. Stuffed bunny. Electronic gizmo that plays music upon demand. Cell phone. Address book. Fully loaded small handgun.
Boruch Hashem he only considers one can of energy drink per day essential.
I'd hate to see him tweaking on caffeinated corn syrup, then whipping out the toothbrush and clobbering someone with it.
He's not one hundred percent stable.
Excitable chap.

I am an entirely different person.
My man-purse is a standard issue back pack.
Just a notebook for writing down details of my plot to become emperor of the universe (beloved by my cringing subjects), three pipes and two pipe-tobaccos, pipe cleaners, pens, and a large packet of condoms.

You never know when you're going to need a large packet of condoms.
Printed on each wrapper is "Israel - it's still safe to come".
It's always time for some PR outreach.
Use it in the best of health!
Effective Hasbara.

One of the women I know, however, exemplifies the "too much baggage" phenomenon.
Lipsticks (hooker crimson, temptress tangerine), pepperspray, recording device.
Pens, pencils, pocket knife, spare keys, batteries (both AA and AAA).
Pain pills, vitamins, and a few hundred Euros from a trip.
Three phrase books and a harlequin romance.
Cleenex tissues and a handkerchief.
Scotch tape and sticky notes.
Hello Kitty wrist watch.
Box of latex gloves.
Topical creme
Steno pad.

And a very nice pair of panties.
Pink cotton, French cut.
With ruffled lace edging.
Just for an emergency.

I only know about the lovely pink French cut panties with lace edging because once, without looking, she reached in for her handkerchief to wipe her forehead.
It was a very hot day.
There is something absolutely charming about someone abstractedly wiping her face with a pair of panties.
I didn't say a thing. I should have, but who am I to spoil a golden moment?
I only regret not asking if I could 'borrow her handkerchief'.
Before she noticed what she was doing, that is.
After she got her lipstick on them.
My complete attention.
Respect, even.

We haven't had a hot day in San Francisco for ages! This has been a very cold summer, and the warm weather which we expected during September has not materialized. It's been rather miserable.
Perhaps by the end of the month we'll hit eighty or ninety degrees.

I'm looking forward to it.
I really like cotton.


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