Thursday, December 10, 2009


It is cold, so cold..... The chill brings out strange behaviour in people. Not me, of course, as I am refreshingly normal.
It brings out strange behaviour in my significant other, Savage Kitten. Maybe because she is Cantonese-American.
We Dutch-Americans have NO screws loose, but Chinese-Americans..........

Due to the economy, she is no longer working full-time. And in consequence can stay in bed on a day like today. When I disappeared into the bathroom this morning, she had grabbed all the bedclothes and wrapped them tightly around herself. Even her nose was covered, just her eyes were visible. She held on to the one-legged monkey and the sock-sheep for comfort. So cold! So cold!

One thing I've noticed is that she feels the cold more acutely than I do. If she needs five blankets and a down comforter, I am perfectly happy with just one layer of sheeting and my feet exposed to the elements. She'll huddle up close to me, to soak up warmth, front to back..... then sneakily press her icy hands upon my glutei maximi.
At which point I may yelp.

Are other Cantonese-American girls like that?
I need to find out.

Anyhow. When I returned from my shower, she had just one word:
Her eyes followed me around the room as I put on my clothes and prepared for work. There seemed a hunger in her glance, a deep yearning. On my way out, I found out what it was. Warm body! I represent something to suck heat out of.


That was what she yelled as I turned to leave. Spoon tookus! When I asked what she meant, she said that the words sounded appetizing. Comforting even, and so very very very wholesome.
Spoon tookus.
That, plus 'fuzzy', paints a picture ........ which we need not describe.

I am certain that she will spend most of the day curled up in bed with the small furry creatures. When I get home she will put aside the trashy book about the royal family, and reach for spoon tookus. Nice, warm, fuzzy spoon tookus. Because of the cold. Everyone needs such a thing, when it is chilly outside. Only then.

I feel SO objectified! Sniff!

Actually, I'm pretty darn comfortable with the idea. No problem at all.

I am the possessor of the spoon tookus. Which is good. Spoon tookus appeals to at least one charming Cantonese-American damsel, and maybe more. That is potent juju.
Spoon tookus. Spoon tookus. Spoon tookus.
Spoon tookus!


e-kvetcher said...

You guys are cold??? In the forties?? We hit -4 overnite last night!

The back of the hill said...

Tayere e-kvetcher,

Forties? Not quite. There was snow in parts of the Bay Area Sunday night; it was still on the ground until Tuesday in places where the sun did not reach. Of course, that's other side of the Oakland Hills, and the mountain peaks. Not San Francisco. We were probably high twenties low thirties in the hours just before dawn.

Night time, of course, is thoroughly nasty. Cold winds off the ocean. Layer of frozen ice on cars on Twin Peaks and out near the beach.

Not as cold as in the Midwest, boruch Hashem....... but she really really cannot stand cold at all. Gibbers about snow weasels coming down from Alaska looking for food.

I, on the other hand, wake up drenched in sweat if there is too much covering. So I usually stick my feet and my posterior out of the blankets when she goes on and on about the snow-weasels, she can hear them, they're clacking their cutleries, chomping their little sharp teeth, and looking for human flesh......

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday were sweater and coat weather for whenever I went outside to smoke.
Yesterday by mid-afternoon it had warmed up; rain came in in the evening.

e-kvetcher said...

Spoon tookus? Could it be a chinesefied way of pronouncing tuches? Like you have a tuches that she spoons with in bed?

The back of the hill said...

Indeed and exactly!

Tuches (cognate with Arabo-Persian 'takht' ("throne; below"), from a common Semitic root) has that guttural sound which most English speakers (except Scotch whisky drinkers) have a problem with.

So, tukkus, towkes, took-kiss, tookus, and other variants are possible. Tush and tushy just don't sound right.

And spooning, as everyone knows, is a great way to piggy-back off someone else's body heat.


Note: standard response to instructions or requests from a very important person in the Hindustani world used to be the Persian phrase: "takht-e amar" ('under your command/authority).
In which the ONLY actual 'native' (Persian) word was the ligature 'e'. In that regard it is like the Urdu request for someone's name: "Ism-e shareef" ('the name of honourableness'), again two Arabic borrowings glued together with the Farsi link.

callowly amphibious said...


e-kvetcher said...


The russian word for ottoman/sofa is тахта, pronounced takhta. I wonder if it is persian in origin.

The back of the hill said...

It probably is. The Persian usage of Arabic Takht (takhat, takhta) includes sit-upons and things which the sit-upon sits upon. Usually throne (or pedestal for honoured objects), sometimes other things. Obviously Diwan ('divan') could not be used - it's already a divan to sit upon, a divan of councilors or aficionados of something, and a collection of poems. In addition to being 'Douane' - the collection of officials regulating foreign policy, and hence those officials tasked with regulating pesky foreigners.
And Arabic Kursi simply means chair. An ottoman is not a chair.

Anonymous said...

It’s not just Cantonese-American girls. All women suck the heat out of their men. Cold blooded creatures. Don’t be a hater; it’s just the way G-d made 'em.


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