Wednesday, December 16, 2009

AIPAC - A JEWISH HEADACHE

Today I am a man with kopfvetig. It's my own fault too.
Though I'll happily blame the Jews.

The headache is the result of yesterday's love-fest outside the hotel where AIPAC had its annual dog-and-pony show for the members. Which always brings out the worst in some people.

[Friend and co-conspirator Chaim ben David gives his impression of the event HERE.
Out-takes: psychopaths, Hassan Fouda and Marilyn Fouda, tantrums, poltroons, loonies, and Paul Larudee.]




PROTEST AND COUNTER-PROTEST

I got there at around 4:40 PM, well in advance of most members of the dark side, with six Israeli flags and two American flags. Said hi to several comrades-in-arms, passed out flags, took up position.
At this point, no headache yet.

Within half an hour, some of the usual misguided and remarkably ignorant intellectuals from Berkeley showed up to support the eradication of Israel.
Several of them are members of Jewish Voice for Peace or Women in Black - of whom most are sour Presbyterians, Methodists, or Jews of Convenience (Jewish when it is politically appropriate to be Jewish but not actually Jewish Jewish). We glared at each other from opposite sides of the street. Our happy band of pro-Israel activists clearly gave them indigestion.
Still no headache.

By six o'clock, most attendees of the AIPAC dinner had gone inside, and the sidewalk across the street was populated by several unruly juveniles of Arab and Hispanic background, middle aged white densities from Berkeley, Dick Becker and few others - occasionally chanting threats to ethnically cleanse Israel ("Palestine will be free from the river to the sea", "ba ruh, ba damn, nafdeek ya falesteen", etc.), or yelling unintelligible stuff.
On our side, several of the attendees on their way in thanked us for being there, some of the uniformed individuals winked at us or flashed victory signs.
No headache.

During the hour between six and seven PM, an immature person from the pro-Palestinian side started mumbling into his friend's megaphone, a few provocateurs tried to come over to steal flags or act threatening, some "observers" slipped on by unobtrusively after having ditched their anti-Israel signs, and a verbal altercation between unstable elements on both sides of the street at the intersection of Taylor and O'Farrell was providing much amusement.
The cops moved in several times to prevent the more offensive members of the pro-Palestinian side from inadvertently endangering themselves.
No headache at this point either.



WORDS OF COMFORT

Even the frequent confrontations on my corner with middle-aged Berkeley Jew-haters and other pro-Palestinians intent on incidental mayhem did not give me a head-ache. Rather, I felt a sense of exhilaration. Even encouraged a few of them to play in traffic.
Apparently I am an obnoxious sob ("thank you for your words of praise!"), a kike warmonger ("but, but, but, I haven't monged any war in soooooo long!") and a Jew-Nazi-Fascist ("you used it in a sentence, good, but can you spell it?").
In case you are wondering, I am also a Zio-imperialist, and I bomb children.
None of which causes headaches.

I still did not have the headache when I got home shortly after eight o'clock with some flowers for Savage Kitten.
Then I had a cup of coffee and a snack, prepared myself a nice tall glass of grapefruit juice with sparkling water, and sat down to watch a Japanese science-fiction movie.
Within twenty minutes the headache started.
So I had some more coffee, and then some more grapefruit juice.



TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM

I kept waking up in the middle of the night and having more grapefruit juice. Smoke a bit, finish the glass, return to bed.

Then I'd think about things for another hour, get up again and have some more grapefruit juice, repeat. I've had maybe five hours sleep.
I still have the headache today.


See, if I hadn't joined the pro-Israel demo outside the Hilton, I probably would've had a cocktail or two at a bar instead. No problem, no pain.

A bunch of Jews with Israeli and American flags is guaranteed to cause headaches.
Everyone knows that.

3 comments:

jonathan becker said...

hey, this is valuable reporting. now i get it. you're like the hoity-toity pipe smoking eurocentric hunter s. thompson! well done.

i miss that guy.

Anonymous said...

"I am also a Zio-imperialist, and I bomb children"

See:
http://proisraelbaybloggers.blogspot.com/2009/12/aipac-protests-in-san-francisco.html

"only Arab children are children, all others are occupiers".

Anonymous said...

I went to go pick up my laundry last night. I’m too lazy to do it myself and at a 1 per pound it’s a deal. I paid my bill and gave the lady a $20 tip as is my custom during the holiday season.

The laundry lady said thank you and merry Christmas. I said “thank you” and “Happy Chanukah”. She said oh, so you’re a Jew? Yep sure am. She said oh well I will still like you.

Thank you, what a relief that is, think how devastated I would have been had my washing woman not liked me because of my lineage. I ask G-d will this ever end? Anyway I wanted to tell you grapefruit juice and ginger ale is one of my favorites.

Kevin

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