One of the Dutch comestibles I miss is the frikadel. No, this is NOT what the Scandinavians, Belgians, or Indonesians would think of - instead, it is sausage composed of finely ground meat with spices (primarily nutmeg, paprika, coriander, herbs, salt, and pepper) and binders, dipped in eggwhite and rolled in fine breadcrumbs, then deep fried. The high temperature seals it, and the result is sheer heaven with chopped onions and sauces. The perfect cold-weather fast food.
Mmmmmmm!
It was invented in North Brabant, like so many good (fried) things in the Netherlands.
There is little reason to go anywhere else in the country, most of the decent restaurants are in the Meiery of 's-Hertogenbosch; culinarily, North Brabant knocks the socks off the other eleven provinces.
FROZEN TREAT!
Per today's Telegraaf, a court in Leeuwarden has found three teenagers not guilty of raping a fourteen year old companion with a frikadel. It is not clear whether the victim was a boy or a girl.
According to the court, "forcible penetration with a food-item can not necessarily be seen as sexual". Not in this case.
http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/5525088/__Vrijspraak_voor_frikadellenverkrachting__.html?p=18,1
QUOTE: "Hoewel volgens de raadsheren in het algemeen het anaal inbrengen van een bevroren frikadel een seksuele lading heeft, ontbreekt die strekking in dit geval."
Translation: Even though, according to the members of the court, anally inserting a frozen frikadel commonly has a sexual import, in this case that connotation is lacking.
It should be clarified that the incident happened, more or less, with the co-operation of the penetratee.
QUOTE: "Het anaal inbrengen van de snack maakte -- deel uit van een weddenschap."
Translation: The anal insertion of the snack was part of a bet.
Please note: I have in the past suggested that there is a streak of insanity among the Dutch.
I wish to emphasize that I am still convinced of that, and in no way intend to argue otherwise. Ever.
No indeed.
NON-SEXUAL FRIKADEL
When I said that I miss the frikadel, I meant it gustatorily.
What Frisians do with food is not my business, nor anything I have ever experienced.
Thank heavens.
Many Frisians, as is well known, are barking mad, and their teenagers have 'issues'.
It must be all that inbreeding.
Raar volkje, die Friezen.
Keyneynahora.
It may be a while ere I eat another frikadel.
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A LACK OF PROPELLANT
Rereading my old posts reminds me that I used to be immoderate. And at times over the top. I've calmed down and grown up since then. Now...
9 comments:
Holy freaky frikadelia, bothman!
Yeah, I always operated under the assumption that boys will be boys..... but changing that to 'boys will be degenerates' is a bit much.
I am, as always, surprised at the startling perversity of the young. And keenly aware that what I thought daring and outrageous back then is remarkably boring and "normal" now.
Well, as long as they stay away from tobacco. We all know that tobacco is evil, right?
Heh heh heh.
I'm not sure it counts as "perversion". I don't think it is quite as sexualized as if this were 18-20 year olds doing this.
I think that the first awareness of the sex organs/orifices for kids is excretory rather than sexual, and I think there is a period of transition before the sexual part is recognized.
It is probably more scatological at their age...
I think that the first awareness of the sex organs/orifices for kids is excretory rather than sexual, and I think there is a period of transition before the sexual part is recognized.
That is probably absolutely true. But these were fourteen year olds - I seem to remember being very keenly aware of sex by that age.
Of course, the fascination with matters excretorial seemed to dominate some of my classmates minds back in grammar school, when we could not even conceive of two people wanting to be naked in each others presence......
I cannot really guess why any fourteen year old would consider inserting a frikadel anywhere but the mouth - self or other person. That much of a fascination with the pû-hole is not part of my world.
De Sade.
well I'm not too sure - the average frikadel has a bite consistency - beyond the breadcumb coating - akin to slime . The inner ingredient has a brownish-grayish color which suggests advanced decay
I'll prefer fritjes or indeed snert -
with a beer of course, preferably Belgian/Czech - as products from Dutch breweries have become almost as weak & pissy as those from USA ones
Graham
seen it
eaten it
drunk it
puked it
almost as weak & pissy as those from USA
Ah, you're talking about the crap in the green bottle. Undrinkable, but much beloved by certain types over here (because it does indeed taste as weak and pissy as Coors or Michelob). Amstel was once drinkable - but since they discovered the American market, they have "reformed" themselves into a severe puritan ditch-water. They too are liked.... by certain types.
Drink the stuff from Belgium.
As for the average fastfood frikadel, they say that there's udders, cheeks, and brains in there. A good frikadel should be at least forty percent good veal, forty percent decent pork. Very finely ground. Some specialty butchers make such. Most Dutch snackbar and frituur menu, however, has a suspicion of canned catfood to it.
Can't really mess with the fries, though. If they ain't good, the fryshop staff might get lynched.
the average frikadel has a bite consistency - beyond the breadcumb coating - akin to slime . The inner ingredient has a brownish-grayish color which suggests advanced decay
This charming description ALSO suggests the croquette (kroket).
Which is usually less than forty percent meat, in a bechamel, shaped and chilled, double-dipped and rolled in coarser breadcrumbs.
Yes, gooey and somewhat liquid immediately after being deep-fried. As we say in Dutch: "smeuig". If eaten immediately post-frying, your mucous membranes will depart for places unknown, leaving naught but scorched wasteland in their place. Because the croquette retains the infernal temperature of the deep fat for several minutes.
Those too are very good.
Again, buy FEBO. Avoid cheaper manufacturers.
Thanks for the correction BM - I was mixed up and did mean the kroket when I wrote slime & breadcrumbs. The frikandel is the long brown thing that looks like dachshund turd isn't it? Usually inebriated when I eat both - the frikandel slit lengthways with ketchup & mayonaisse in the cut and sprinkled with chopped onion. I never eat them from the automatic machines with aluminum & glass access hatches.
Grimbergen?
Graham
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