HWAET! GODEFROY CHAUCERE HATH A BLOGGE!

Discovered a brilliant blog, immediately worth listing on my blog-roll.

To whit:
http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/


The second from the first posting was this:

abbreviaciouns
Oh newfanglenesse! Y have learned the privitees of the manye abbreviaciouns ywritten on the internette. OMG: "oh mine ++DOMINUS++". ROFL: "rollinge on the floore laughinge". IRL: "in reale lyfe." WTF: "whatte the swyve?"

Beinge somethinge of an innovator myselfe, Y presente to yow, churles and gentils alle, the followynge abbreviaciouns. May they serven yow welle in your internette communicacioun:
GP: gentil person
WC: woole customes
XC: Exchequer
BATJG: biggere arsehole thanne john gowere
BSL!: by seinte loy!
OTPBRB: Offe to parliamente, be ryghte back
SNAPFU - BYXCA: supposedely nyce annuitie paymente fuckede uppe by the XC againe
KRBMA: Kynge Richarde II buggynge me againe
AOMSHJDOTBD: anothere of myne servauntes hath just dyede of the blacke death
EISBYMIWATCHDNSTHD: eftsoon I shall be ycleped mad if worke atte the customes house doth not settle the helle downe


Should the authors of this blog attempt a version of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner? I think so. And so do you. Go ahead and tell them so.


NOTE 1. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor "Old Blatherskite" Coleridge can be viewed here: http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/r/m/rmp5006/rime/rime.html , but remember, it doesn't come in any flavour, it's a bleeding seabird.]

NOTE 2. It was E-kvetcher (http://search-for-emes.blogspot.com/) who in a recent posting brought 'Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog to my attention.

A gitte, gebentshte shabbes, y'all.

DEMO - SF, SEPT. 7, 2006

.
.
.
ACTION ALERT REMINDER


Counter Protest Anti-Israel demonstration outside CityHall
Downtown San Francisco, Civic Center Plaza (Polk St.between Grove and McAllister)
Thursday, September 7th, 3:30-5 PM


The American Friends Service Committee(AFSC) are calling for a “Interfaith Silent Vigil” to demand that Israel “End the occupation and all violence” as aprecondition for a secure Israel.
AFSC oftenadvocates for peace, but in the Arab-Israeli conflict they stand shoulder to shoulder with those who advocate the destruction of Israel. Like other demonizers of Israel, they blame Israel for all attacks against it, claiming in true “blame the victim” fashion that all violence against Israel is solely the fault of Israel’s actions in perpetrating“occupation and violence.”


As always, StandWithUs/San Francisco Voice for Israel will counter the anti-Israel propaganda, misinformation, and distortions. Even if you can comefor just a few minutes, please add your voice to thepro-Israel demonstration so that our enemies know that even when they try to keep us away by holding eventsduring the workday, we will still be there!


As AFSC is promising a "silent vigil," we ask that you refrain from loud shouting or noisily confronting the other side unless their "vigil" becomes less "silent."



StandWithUs/San Francisco Voice for Israel
www.SFVoiceForIsrael.org
www.StandWithUs.com

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This blog urges you to go - the times are inconvenient, yes, which unfortunately means that whoever does show up will be outnumbered by the other side. If you can be there, please do attend. Thank you.

THE QUESTION IS WHAT?

The Exgodolhador has a question.

[Which can be read here: http://extremegh.blogspot.com/2006/09/kuzari-proof-it-works.html]

In the posting linked above, the XGH brings up the Kuzari proof and the counter arguments.


The Kuzari proof is, according to Wikipedia:
"that a story such as that of the Sinai revelation must have originated with a real event or have been introduced at some later moment. In the latter case, the population will have been able to infer its falsehood merely from their lack of prior knowledge of the claim. Therefore, according to this logic, the story can only have been introduced at a time when the population knew it to be true from their own observation." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuzari]


XGH formulates it thusly:
"The story of Sinai is so huge - 600,000 males (approx 2.5 million people) all experiencing God’s revelation (in some fashion)- that it could not have been made up and then accepted by the public -- a further argument for this proof is that no other religion has such an origin story. All the other religions start with a revelation to a small group of people, or just one ‘prophet’. If a mass revelation story is easy to fabricate, then why didn’t every other religion start such a story? The fact that there are no parallels shows that such a story could not be ‘sold’ unless it was actually true."


It is evident from his subsequent text that XGH veers towards a rejection of the Kuzari proof as an argument for Torah mi Sinai.


To quote again: "On my previous blog I came to the conclusion that since there was no way to know any of this for sure, the only possible option is ‘shev ve’al taaseh’ (*). But this just leads to paralysis, and isn’t very practical when your kids are about to start 15+ years of Jewish education. So, we have to come up with something.
The question is, what?"


That's a good question.


In many ways it is the question that informs most of the J-blogs I read, and it partially explains both how I discovered the Judeo blogs and why I blog.


The answer I left in the comments on his posting is this:
"There is truth in Judaism. It is up to you to find it. It will take your entire life to do so. Start now. You may not succeed - there are no guarantees. You will be a better person for trying - which is probably the point of the tradition in the first place. You need not finish the task, neither may you abstain."


[I'll define Judaism in this context as Abrahamic monotheism, neither Gnostic nor Trinitarian, with as key documents Torah, Nach, Mishna, Gemara, and with shtarke denkers from Chazal through the Geonim, Rishonim, Acharonim, et al.]


Readers, I would like your thoughts.

Please discuss, debate, dispute, and above all comment - comment - comment.





Feel free to be mechazek my emunah (b'ezras Hashem if so), or not (equally b'ezras Hashem).

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(*) Shev ve al taaseh = sitting and not doing; abstaining from a course of action.

LO TELECH RACHIL B'AMEICHA

['Do not go as a talebearer among your people' - Seifer Vayikra, Parshas Kedoshim, Psook 19;16]


Sometime in February, the Godolhador wrote on his blog: " I also expect that most mature people realize that when I call someone a 'raving lunatic' I mean it in the best possible way, with oodles and oodles of love and kisses and hugs and affirmation and empathy etc. OK, maybe one or two times there was the slightest hint of a speculation of a teensy weensy bit of annoyance on my part. For that I sincerely apologize, and I promise never ever to do it again until next time."


Very well then. I do not want leprosy.


So let me clarify that when in my previous posting I referred to Anja Meulenbelt and Greta Duisenberg as "neurotic swamp-trull gorgons", I meant it positively, in the best possible way, with sheer bucket-loads of supportive love and respect for their points of view. Really. I fully support their rights to be anti-Semitic harpies if it makes them finally feel good about themselves. Yes.


Also, when I wrote that Anja Meulenbelt "is monumentally frustrated that not everyone worships her gand, so she's getting rid of her bile in the only way she can - by squawking and scratching", this was entirely speculative.

There is actually no conclusive evidence.

It seems a reasonable supposition

But it may not be her gand that itches. It could be another part of her anatomy.

EYCH NASHIR ET SHIR ADONOI AL ADMAT NECHAR?

According to an article in Arutz Sheva ('channel seven' - an Israeli news source with a pronounced settler bias), things have heated up a bit in Golus (exile).

Arutz Sheva specifically mentions Britain, Australia, and Canada.

Judging by the venom I have been reading in Dutch for the past several weeks [examples: "rassenzuivering" (ethnic cleansing) "pure haat" (pure hate) "een brute oneerlijke strijd" (a brutal dishonest military campaign) "gelegaliseerd terrorisme" (legalized terrorism) "Haat-hebbende Joden" (hateful Jews)], I suspect that the main reason Arutz Sheva mentions Britain, Australia, and Canada, is because these are English speaking nations and reports from these areas are more transparent - and that there will be similar reports from the rest of 'civilization' once the data percolates out of Dutch, French, German - all the other European languages.



Here in the Bay Area (bastion of liberalism and all that good stuff) I've been told that "there has been bloodshed in the Middle East as long as there have been Jews", and "it's always about Jews, isn't it - not even one percent of the world's population, but every day it's you people". And other sweet things.

Bear in mind that I am cautious about whom I talk to, and what I talk about.

The past month and a half have been incredibly bad PR.

The perception is that 'big bad Israel brutally picked on poor tiny defenseless Lebanon, barely recovered from the Lebanese civil war which was caused by Israel'.
[Never mind that size-wise Israel is tiddly, Hezbollah started the fracass and had been supplied by and was a front for Syria and Iran, Lebanon's civil war was caused by the PLO, and Syria pulls most of the strings in Lebanon - facts and publicity are, alas, not the same thing.]

During the height of recent hostilities, a poll in the Netherlands showed that only one third of the Dutch supported Israel, and nearly one fifth supported Hezbollah.

Let me repeat that: In a country which had been firmly pro-Israel, only one out of every three people are still pro-Israel (probably the older generation), and one out of every five people now back a terrorist organization that has killed 241 Americans, several thousand Christians, several thousand Muslims, and several hundred Israelis. One out of every five dumb-ass Kaaskoppen hopes that a bunch of murderous thugs will triumph.


Okay, I realize that that is typical emotional "enlightened" backing of a perceived underdog, combined with absolutely gut-wrenching ignorance.

I doubt that knowing that will be much comfort to many Dutch Jews. Or Dutch supporters of Israel.

There is too much gleeful (or is baleful a better word) borrowing from old habits and ideas when speaking about Jews and the Middle-East. Too much hateful idiocy.

The phrase "Falastin baladna w'al Yahud kalabna" (Palestine is our land, and the Jews are our dogs) showed up on the weblog of a Dutch member of parliament in July (in the comments, but Anja Meulenbelt removes comments she disagrees with - it was still there several weeks after people had complained and she was apprised of its meaning).

[Note I: The comment mentioned above on the weblog of Anja Meulenbelt is the fourth one underneath the posting here: http://anjameulenbelt.sp.nl/weblog/2006/07/16/bij-elkaar-in-woede/#comments.
Anja Meulenbelt's blog is here: http://anjameulenbelt.sp.nl/weblog/. Most of it is in Dutch, most of it is pro-Palestinian propaganda.
What can I say? The Dutch left-wing is anti-Semitic (yes, I know all the hackneyed old assertions that one should be able to criticize Israel without being accused of anti-Semitism - I've heard you folks for years, and I no longer accept that crap), the Dutch Socialist Party is utterly reprehensible in that regard, and Anja Meulenbelt is monumentally frustrated that not everyone worships her gand, so she's getting rid of her bile in the only way she can - by squawking and scratching.]

[Note II: That phrase was first recorded when the mobs rampaged through the Jewish quarter in Hebron in 1929. It cropped up periodically since then, especially in the circles of the Mufti and his followers. It has resurged. I have heard it yelled during demonstrations, and applauded by Berkeleyites.]

The discourse, such as it is, is diseased.

I really have to wonder if much of the rest of the "civilized world" has managed to avoid infection, whether there is a difference between urban Europe and the small towns and villages, and whether any of the European governments has come right out and said that they will not tolerate extremist positions or anti-Semitism.

Being a pessimist, I rather fear not.


Extract of article below, plus link.

----------------------------------------

Anti-Semitic Hate Wave Rolls Across Britain and Australia Wednesday, September 6, 2006 / 13 Elul 5766

The month of July was one of the worst, in terms of anti-Semitism, in both England and Australia. In Canada, as well, Jewish leaders are concerned.

TheAge.com in Australia reports that anti-Semitism is on the rise across university campuses in the country. Grahame Leonard, the president of the Executive Council of Australian Jewry, says July had the most anti-Semitic incidents - no fewer than 141 - since records began in 1945. Never before had there been more than some 90. The July attacks included phone calls, hate e-mails and graffiti, as well as violent incidents - with the big jump being on campuses in Victoria.

-------[cut]-------

In Britain, as well, The Times of London reports that attacks on Jews have soared, and that even the national government has taken notice. On Thursday, an all-party parliamentary inquiry will state that anti-Semitic violence has become endemic in Britain, both on the streets and university campuses. The report will call for urgent action from the Government, the police and educational establishments.

-------[cut]-------

There have been several attacks in various Jewish neighborhoods in London of late. In one incident last month, a Jewish restaurant in Golders Green was targeted by two young men who threw chairs, punched workers and threatened to kill the owner, Ruth Cohen, with a knife. In Hampstead Garden Suburb, swastikas and the words "Allah" and "Kill all Jews" were daubed on the house and car of a local Jewish doctor.

More recently, a 12-year-old Jewish girl was stomped upon and brutally kicked on a public bus in London. Accosted and asked if she was Jewish, she replied, "I'm English." Unimpressed, four girls, accompanied by three boys, then pushed her to the floor, stomped on her face and repeatedly kicked her.

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/news.php3?id=111514

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APPENDIX:

Anja Meulenbelt is not the only anti-Semitic Harpy in the Netherlands, surely you remember Mrs. Gretta Duisenberg?

Let me refresh your ire, by quoting the woman.

Gretta, talking about the abduction of the soldiers: "Ik keur die ontvoeringen goed. Dit is hun (Hezbollah) enige manier om gevangenen vrij te krijgen. Wat me razend maakt is dat Nederland nu geen troepen wil sturen omdat ze bang zijn een jood te raken."
[Translation: 'I approve of the abductions, this is the only way to get prisoners released. What infuriates me is that the Netherlands doesn't want to send troops now because they're scared of hitting a Jew'.]

Gretta, talking about Hamas notable Osama Hamdan: "Wat een vriendelijke man, hè? Je hoort gewoon dat hij meent wat hij zegt. Israeli’s daarentegen liegen altijd. Dat zie je aan die koppen. Schoften zijn het."
[Translation: 'What a friendly man, eh? You can just hear that he means what he says. Israelis, on the other hand, always lie. You can tell that from their heads - they're scum. ']


Lest you think that it is only neurotic swamp-trull gorgons getting their soiled knickers in a twist or spewing slime, here's ex-ambassador Jan Wijenberg talking about the recent conflict: "...Israel is een terreurstaat en dit is het bewijs".
[Translation: 'Israel is a terrorist state, and this is proof'.]


Both Mrs. Duisenberg and ambassador Wijenberg are leaders in the PPMS, a Dutch pro-Palestinian organization.

DVORIM MIN HALEIV

Note: This posting wil meander a bit, as it weaves several related themes, and is explanatory rather than having a clear set of conclusions. Please feel free to skip it, and go directly to the naked monkey evolution pictures. If you're that way inclined. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

-------------------------------------------


Good words that go out from the heart, enter the heart - Dvorim hayotzim min haleiv, nichnasim haleiv

ALSO when they are written words.

The history of a bookish people proves that. Abundantly.


My grammar school years were at a tiny non-denominational public school right next door to an immense Catholic school where good little Katolikim learned from the monks that everyone else was going to hell.
Protestantim, in their schools, learned the same, from severe and unyielding blinkerbrains.
Our school was not thus.
Many of the students at our school came from less privileged families. The others came from a heretical and unaffiliated milieu, or from the three or four Jewish families in town.
In our school, heaven and hell were NOT mentioned as part of the curriculum. If our classmates learned about those two destinations, it was either from their home and religious environment outside of school hours, or, remarkably, from their classmates.


Judging by how many kids told us (the Heretical, Unaffiliated or Jewish - hereafter referred to as HUJ) that we were going to hell, heaven must be jam-packed with self-satisfied little shits.[Note: Since returning to the US, the only time I am told that I'm going to hell is when I turn on the telly. Perhaps that has something to do with living in San Francisco, where we're all going to hell. Well, the six out of every seven here who are HUJ. The rest voted for Bush.]


When our pious classmates weren't informing us of the hellish fate that awaited all the HUJ, they often told us that our salvation and future material welfare would be based entirely on begging Jayziz for mercy.

I think they wanted us to start doing that while they watched. We must've disappointed them, and I don't think they have ever forgiven us.


Which makes it strange that subsequently, in high school, while everybody else was getting failing grades in the religion course (a required subject, nota bene!), I and the other HUJ breezed through with top marks. A subject with much reading, and many recommended texts.

[What was high school religion class? Mostly Torah, less Nach, nearly no Christian Subsequentia - plus a very superficial overview of related traditions, somewhat in-depth on the history of the Holy Land and the social / cultural environment. Background on the Babylonian, Persian, Greek, and Roman periods, and the intellectual environment of the time. Some of us even ended up with the Pentateuch memorized, in the old-fashioned Dutch of the Staten Bijbel translation. Unfortunately, no Rashi. I do not think that Rabbi Shlomo Yitzhaki has been translated into Dutch yet.]


Reading may be better than having the received interpretation drummed in after all

Dvorim hayotzim min hasefer, nichnasim hasechel.


My parents instilled in me that scripture is a major part of one's education and cultural foundation. Treat it as literature, treat it as one of the major building blocks of civilization, treat it as a guide for the perplexed, treat it as part of the web and woof of the Western subconscious. Do not treat it as cast in bronze, set in stone, or revealed certainty. If you do, the text can no longer be argued, and an interactive personal understanding of the material is well nigh impossible.

This approach can be perhaps best be thought of as less a family minhag than a response to environment.

My family represents several generations of recovering Dutch Calvinists, Scottish Presbyterians, and a few rogue Anglicans - mostly with a pathological dislike for preachers, priests, and organized religion.
And, fittingly, several fine Tanachic names - Abraham Isaacsen, Isaac Abrahamsen, Isaac Isaacsen, Jacob Isaacsen, Selah Abrahamsen, Nathan, Ezekiel, Zacharias, and others.
[Note: Selah was my great-great grandfather, the various Isaacs and Abrahams and others lived in the seventeenth, eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. It could be said that most of them at the very least veered into HUJ territory, when they weren't energetically disobeying other societally imposed rules.]


I believe my mother may have had the same distaste for spontaneous freeform prayers (which are much favoured by fundies) that she had for amateurish free-verse. I have inherited that distaste, and added to it - public prayer strikes me as too much like group sex, especially when it is evident that some participants adhere to that odd tripartite conception of the divine (one does not willingly take part in idolatrous rituals, even if only as an unwilling witness).

There are appropriate times and places for ritual, and if one is not 'there and then', such things should be kept to oneself.

BOTERKOEK - BUTTER CAKE

This pastry is typically Dutch, and one that many people either remember fondly after emmigrating, or rediscover with surprise and joy when going back for the first time - a taste they forgot, and had not realized was so deeply planted in their sense-memory of the Netherlands. It is very easy to make.


On trips to the Hague I always visited an elderly "aunt" who lived there during the seventies. At that time she took care of her sister, whose mental capacities where somewhat diminished, both of them living in an upstairs apartment on a shaded street the name of which I cannot remember.

Both sisters (and their brother, who lived in Amsterdam and later in Den Bosch) were Indos - Indies Dutch - which meant, in their case, that they were of almost entirely of non-Dutch extraction except for a distant ancestor, being Hokkien mixed with bits of much else, from a town on the eastern coast of Borneo, facing the straits, and Celebes over the horizon.

Like many Indies Dutch they had been educated in schools in Java, held Dutch nationality, spoke wrote and thought Dutch fluently, and had been marginalized by the independence of the Dutch East Indies in 1948. Between 1947 and 1962 they and various relatives left the land of their birth, for the homeland they had never seen.

When aunt Ietje had lived in Brabant, her younger sister Nietje was teaching school up somewhere in Friesland or Groningen, and the older brother Kees worked as an engineer in Amsterdam. Both would come down sometimes to visit. Which was an occassion for feasting on dishes with exotic names - gule ika (whole fish in a coconut-curry), rudjak (spicy salty sour salad), ebere (fatty meat and bamboo shoots in coconut milk), maengguri manok (chicken seethed in coconut cream with chilies and garlic), saoto (complex soup of many ingredients), with nasi kunit (festive yellow rice). And almond or peanut dudol.
For Indos, when someone comes to visit, it is time to eat (what am I saying - it is always time to eat!), and nearby relatives and friends (or their classmates at the local grammar school) are expected to come by and partake. It was a very good age.

In the seventies, Ietje started having episodes in which she would remember the camps, and stare off into space for hours on end. Old age, and the mental short-circuits which accompany it, were beginning to interfere with her ability to function at a constant level of awareness. It was decided that the sisters would both move to Den Haag (the Hague) to be with other Indos of that generation, and nearer an up-to-date care facility. Nietje took over cooking and other domestic tasks in the apartment they shared, and a long slow twilight set in.

I visited them several times in the five years before I returned to the States. Nietje would inquire about the folks in Brabant, and bring out coffee with hot milk and cinnamon, and a big wedge of boterkoek.


BOTERKOEK

One and three quarters cup of flour.
One cup of sugar.
Three quarters of a cup of butter.
One large egg, yolk and white separated.
A pinch of salt.
A pinch of dry ginger.
A teaspoon or so of almond extract.

About a quarter cup of sliced almonds for garnish, and a little butter for greasing the pan.


Cream the butter and sugar together. Mix in the egg yolk and almond extract, then add the flour, salt, and dry ginger. Knead to a crumbly dough - do not overwork it.
Grease a shallow pan or pyrex dish. Press the dough into the pan - it should be between an inch and an inch and a half thick. Brush the surface with the egg-white, which you have beaten beforehand. Strew the almonds over and press down slightly.

Bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for no more than twenty five minutes. The result will be firm on the outside, still soft within, dense and buttery. Let it cool before eating.

XGH - NEW BLOG - CHUMASH

This will be baffling if you haven't been paying attention.


The GodolHador is back (http://extremegh.blogspot.com/), he admits that he is married to Dovbear(http://dovbear.blogspot.com/), and he needs to go on vacation (see http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/04/jelly-fruit-and-coconut-macaroons.html and http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2006/04/eighty-degrees-leather-and-too-many.html).


Mazzel tov on your marriage, you two. You were meant for each other.

STEW FROM NORTH CAROLINA

I was planning to leave the bar after only one drink, so Archie could close early, but a couple came in, and almost immediately started providing entertainment.
A him and a dirty blondish her, both very khoosh, and not from liquor.


She asked Archie if he knew how to French braid, then asked me the same. And did anyone have any lipliner? She jerkily marched up and down the length of the bar, twitching. She wanted to sing karaoke. And recharge her cell phone. Why couldn't she recharge the phone, was there no recharger? Really? And how come neither of us knew how to French braid? For heavensakes!


With an air of authority she informed no-one in particular that California was like totally great! But it couldn't beat North Carolina! Where she came from! She was a stewardess! Her boy friend was from southern California! And didn't know how to French braid either! Everything she said was emphatic - even the questions.


Archie put another drink in front of her, and she asked him if she had already asked him about French braiding. Then she knocked her drink over and grabbed the karaoke catalogue.


Gonna sing now.


As she and her boyfriend sang, I ordered another whiskey and water. This was good. Better than TV.


Archie and I gave each other 'that' look, grinning, while those two slaughtered 'proud Mary' ("...Proud Mary um mumble mumble! Turning um eh ummm! Proud, um New Orleans, yeah? Keep it, keep uh...").


Proud Mary ain't never gonna 'roll' again after that rendition - even walking again might be outta the question.


Another customer wandered in after the song. The blonde asked him three separate times if he knew how to French braid.... he hurriedly finished his drink and left.


She went out to smoke - and we heard her hollering down the stairs at someone about lipliner. She came back in and asked me about French braiding, as if the question had only! just! then! popped into her head.


Then she had a brief, savage spat with her boyfriend over the song-catalogue.
She whopped him with it.
Hard.


They began another song. With the first strains of 'these boots are made for walking', I finished my drink and headed out into the fog. As the music grew faint behind me, I distinctly heard the words 'lipliner' over her boyfriend's dull mumbling of the lyrics.


Karaoke is a marvelous invention. Totally.


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

CUSTELBRAN 365

Food.
Sweet.
A simple custard.



One of the dishes which the British took with them wherever they went, as the imperialist power of their age, was caramel custard - a simple, unassuming little sweet which they really thought that they, and they alone, had invented.

Which was certainly not the case. It seems rather Iberian, much like many other sweet dishes composed of eggs and sugar. And cane sugar was unknown to Europeans until the Arabs introduced it to them.
Prior to the colonial age, Europeans got their cane sugar from Sicily, Southern Spain, and the Arab traders in the Levant. So it is more than likely that caramel custard was made in Spain ages before the English even heard of it.


Europeans introduced caramel custard to Latin America and the Caribbean, India (where during the British Period it was often called 365 - because the khidmatkar would make it 365 days of the year), and the Philippines, where it has pretty much become the national dessert.


Now skip forward four centuries - The best Caramel Custard in the Bay Area can be found in Philippino eateries. But it tastes even better if you make it at home. Especially during winter.



CARAMEL CUSTARD (LECHE FLAN)
[This recipe makes enough for one or two normal people, or four-plus cholesterol conscious health-nuts. Double it as appropriate. ]

One egg.
One egg yolk.
One cup heavy cream, heated to more than blood temperature.
Two TBS sugar.
Pinch salt.
Pinches cinnamon and nutmeg or mace.
Dash vanilla.
Dash Scotch whiskey.

For the caramel crust: more sugar.


In a metal or pyrex mixing bowl which is significantly larger than the volume of all the ingredients, mix the egg and egg yolk. Add sugar, salt, spices, vanilla, whiskey. Slowly add the warm cream, while stirring briskly. When the sugar is entirely dissolved, place the vessel containing the mixture inside a larger vessel with warm water to surround the custard bowl up to the level of the custard mixture (bain-Marie) and bake in a preheated oven at 325 degrees (Fahrenheit) for 45 minutes.

Remove the custard from oven.

While it cools, heat four TBS sugar in the deep ladle from the wok-set your aunt Murgatroyd gave you ten years ago but which you haven't used in nine years and eleven months. The sugar will melt, turn transparent, and caramelize. Stir with a long cocktail spoon or icetea spoon to ensure an even melting. Be careful doing this - melted sugar is extremely hot and can cause some nasty burns. When it has reached the desired level of caramelization (dark red brown) , pour it quickly over the custard in a circular motion. Tilt the bowl to coat the entire surface. Let it cool completely before serving.

If you use heavy whipping cream to make the custard, it makes a marvelous topping for freshly baked pie.

Especially pecan pie, with a buttery, flaky crust.

Note that any partially burnt sugar deposits on the ladle will be difficult to remove - but traces of same promote caramelization the next time you use the ladle for that purpose.


Bon gusto y'all.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

NEDERLANDSCHE RHETORIEK - TIEN REGELS

[What follows are ten rules for argumentation with the Dutch. It is also in Dutch - a translation will be posted later. Abide for now.]



1. Vorm een mening op basis van veronderstelde feiten. Laat die mening een eigen leven leiden, en beinvloeden welke volgende veronderstelde feiten men aksepteren zal, welke men negeert. De gevormde mening word intussen als feitelijk aangezien. De veronderstelde feiten waar alles op rust worden nimmer onder de loep genomen, temeer daar zo een beschouwing de basis van de inmiddels gevarmde meningsstelsel teniet zou doen.

2. Aksepteer niet of nauwelijks kritiek, vooral als die kritiek de eigen veronderstellingen niet ondersteunt.

3. Aksepteer niet of nauwelijks tegenspraak of contra-argument, vooral als dat de eigen veronderstellingen niet ondersteunt.

4. Neem aan dat eigen mening immer verantwoord is, en dat andere meningen, in zoverre als die afwijken van het eigene, niet de moeite van het discussieren waard zijn (alhoewel deze wel degelijk tegengesproken moeten worden). De eigen mening is natuurlijk rationeel, tegenstellende mening is gebaseerd op foutieve feiten en emoties

5. Vorm mening op basis van emotie. Vorm emotie op basis van die mening. Houd aan dat men neutraal is, het zijn gewoon de feiten.

6. Vorm mening op basis van vooroordelen. Vorm emotie op basis van die mening. Houd aan dat men neutraal is, het zijn gewoon de feiten.

7. Verander of vervorm punt van discussie als men het niet eens is met een mening, zodanig dat men iemand kan uitsluiten of negeren. Een discussie is alleen de moeite waard met gelijkdenkenden - afwijkers hebben echt niets bij te dragen.

8. Leugens die de eigen mening ondersteunen zijn nauwelijks minder dan feiten. Zolang er een greintje waarheid in zit, is het veel beter dan de pure waarheid, want het past in de algevormde meningsstelsel, en kan rhetorisch van beter nut wezen dan ongelakte feiten.

9. Wie tegenspreekt moet kritiek aanvaarden; zulk kritiek geld als bewijs van het foutief denken van de tegenspreker, want ware er niets te kritizeren zou hij mischien toch gelijk kunnen hebben. Is er iets mis met iemand die een afwijkende mening heeft, dan is alles mis.

10. Handel, ten alle tijden, in de veronderstelling dat eigen mening het vooruitstrevende en geavanceerde vertegenwoordigen, en dat ieder weldenkend mens dat zowel herkent als nastreeft. Dienovereenkomstig mag men afwijkende meningen te spot zetten, daar deze slechts achterlijkheid, onduidelijkheid en ja zelfs euvel naar voren brengen.

DANCING RABBIS!

It's getting mighty close to New Year's......

Which can mean only one thing......



CHABAD TELETHON !



[Ooh... dancing rabbis! Dancing rabbis rule, dude! Righteous!]


The telethon, as everyone knows, benefits West-Coast Chabad's various programs, raising money for a lot of really worthwile things.

"Like what?" I hear you ask.


Well, how about non-denominational drug addiction treatment?
That alone ought to get your money flowing. When someone is trying to kick a destructive addiction, the absolute last thing they need is some self-righteous poohag lecturing them about Jayzits or Buddha, and trying to get them to convert to. the. one. true. religion. oh. joy. you-za. gonna. git. SAYYVED. now! boy. [This seems logical, but you'de be surprised how many do-gooders don't understand this.]


Chabad's other stuff is good too - even if you don't agree with them, and feel uncomfortable about the sometimes Artscrollish shmaltzy cottoncandy version of Judaism that they project.


Who else is gonna get kosher le Peysach matzes to groups of Yidden in the weirdest corners of golus?
Who else actively seeks to reintegrate third generation apikorsim from Russia back into the tribe?
Who else will help an elderly alcoholic clean up his life?



You know they do good stuff. And they do it because its the right thing to do. So why not dump some money on them? Like, right now. Klick here:
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=186922&lis=1&kntae186922=7A3A47A140954AF682D693ED2BFC5216&supId=145310462


Go on, click.

You know you want to.

It's a mitzvah.


Why haven't you clicked there yet? What's stopping you? What are you waiting for? Yes, you - I'm talking to someone else perhaps? I mean you. Click now. Donate. Go on. Please.
You don't want to donate so much? Dude, even a couple of bucks is worthwhile. You say you already donate to many other worthwhile causes? That's great, beautiful, I am so proud of you, and one more ain't gonna hurt.

Go on, click on that link. Don't do it for me, do it for yourself. You'll be glad you did. It will make you feel all warm to donate. If you want to do it for me, that's fine too, really, I wouldn't object - I just want you to plonk some of your hard-earned money where it hurts. Click on that link. The need exists, the good causes won't go away, yes they will always be there to tempt you into another donation (click on that link already), but really, what's the harm in that? A few dollars gonna kill you?
Fer hevvins aches, donate. Now. Don't wait.

Click the link.

Thank you.

A MEME OF SHINY THINGS

In a comment under a posting (http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/2006/08/into-woods.html) carved on the Goblin King's cavernwalls (http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/), the Knitter of shiny things (blog: http://stillinthewoods.blogspot.com/) said:
"Steg-
Perhaps you should post a warning sign on the entrance to my neck of the woods: "Beware of kfira...and cats, if you're allergic. No swimming in the miqva'ot unless a lifeguard is on duty." :-p
Maybe we all should have warnings on our blogs. I see the making of an awesome meme. "

Excellent.

Proposed MEME:

1. What warning would you have on your blog for the unsuspecting?
If you stay here long enough you will gain weight.

2. Why do you think they need to be warned?
Food is a recurring theme.

3. What does that say about them?
Grazing here suggests that they're either omnivorous, or gluttons. And they probably like cheese doodles.

4. And who else should put up a warning?
Dovbear, GodolHador, Margabriel, Lipman, Misnaged..... Oh what the heck - pretty much everybody I read. Blogs piss people off. Not all the time, not everybody. But if you come through the bloggojungle unscathed you were probably dead to begin with.


I tag Steg, Knitter of Shiny things, CousinOliver, and the Godol Hador..... yes, I know, he had a warning on his erstwhile excellent blog - but he can post this on Dovbear's blog (http://dovbear.blogspot.com/) , seeing as he now posts there - it will kill two flies with one pie.

VICIOUS CHRISTIAN NUTBALLS

Jackie Mason is suing the Jay Fer Jays over a pamphlet.


Extract from the AP article:

Saying he's "as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami," Jackie Mason filed a lawsuit against Jews for Jesus for using his name and likeness in a pamphlet.
The $2 million lawsuit seeks the immediate destruction of the pamphlet, which members of the missionary group have been handing out at various points around New York City.
"While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami," the 75-year-old comedian said in documents filed in state Supreme Court in Manhattan."


Of course this isn't the first time Jackie Mason has been involved in something faintly (hugely) putrid - he made some comments about Islam that can only be considered incendiary (contradicting our beloved leader, who called Islam a 'religion of peace'), and he's also made some remarks about blacks that were quite the opposite of complimentary.

There have been times when he has been wrong, yes.


But what has justifiably got his knickers in a twist is that his face is in a Jay Fer Jay pamphlet, next to the words "Jackie Mason ... A Jew for Jesus!?"


The suggestion that anyone is a Jew for Jayzits is vicious and slanderous...... ghastly barely describes it. Kinda like a mogen Dovid on one side of an equals sign, and Nazi emblem on the other side. It's like gossip that someone is related to Henry VIII.

No wonder he's angry. He should be. He should sue the pants offa those bozos. He should sue for damages and trauma. Take 'em to the cleaners.


Oh, you ask "what about peace and love, acceptance and tolerance, and all the rest of that stuff?"

Those are all good things, yes, and even here they apply.

As legal concepts.


I tolerate Jews for Jayzits, I do not advocate banning them.

I would refuse to sit at the same table with them, or any one who fell for their depraved and ridiculous cult (though I would pay good money for the entertainment of seeing them at the same table as ArtScroll), and I consider anyone who walks into their trap as being a soul lost forever.... poor little priceless Yiddishe neshamas be damned, if they got suckered into that demented cult they were hopeless little moronic nutzoids to begin with (though evenso, deprogramming is probably justified).


But I tolerate JayferJay. I am legally required to do so. Which is a good thing. The fact that so insane a bunch of crackpots can spew their nonsense protects the rest of us. I tolerate them.

That stops at slander.


-----------------------------------------------

ADDENDUM:

Why do I consider Jews fer Jayzits crazier than any other creed, cult, or ideology?

Because if you believe in Jayzits, yer a Christian.
If you do not believe in Jayzits, you ain't.
The term 'Jews for Jezus' is a falsehood.

There ain't no such critter as a Jew who believes in Jayzits. Anybody who keeps all mitzvos except that one about "no other gods" is not a Jew, but someone with inexplicable personal habits.
Once you've accepted Jayzits as your close, personal, and totally imaginary friend, there is utterly no further reason for obeying the taryag mitzvos.

[At that point there are several very good reasons for seeking psychiatric help.... surely as an adult you know that imaginary friends are problematic? And that the big white bunny rabbit with the bowtie isn't really following you around? You do know you're stark raving bonkers, don't you? Haven't your few remaining friends already told you so?]


What I also find repulsive about the JayferJay crowd is that they are directed by and funded by missionary outreach organizations with scarcely anyone of any certifiable Jewish background. It's false advertising. It's like calling Hezbollah a social welfare organization. It hides the evil agenda within under a smiling veneer of chicken soup.



As a final note, suggesting that Rabbi Hyman Krustofski, father of Krusty the Clown, is not a mensh but a madman is hideously offensive.

MISCELLANEOUS GLEANINGS 08/25/06

Do I need to know that it has been pre-authed.?


I'm sorry, I cannot answer so existential a question this early - angst, angst, angst.

Despair. Gloom. A cold dark universe. Harsh reality. The jungle is cannibalistic.

This order, for this customer with a name based on bourgeois denial of the suffering of the proletariat in a post-modern construct, has been released. Its deeper enslavement however is not addressed by its utterly superficial and meaningless new freedom - Matt will "pick" it, and consign it to its fate. Oh inevitability, oh woe.

I wonder if there's any more cheese.

------------------------

Everybody looks better with the right clothing.
See here:
http://home.paonline.com/mikehoov/Special_Features/Turban/Constructing_The_Perfect_Turban.htm
And click on instructions.

------------------------

Sægde se þe cuþe
frumsceaft fira feorran reccan,
cwæð þæt se Ælmihtiga eorðan worhte,
wlitebeorhtne wang, swa wæter bebugeð,
gesette sigehreþig sunnan ond monan
leoman to leohte landbuendum,
ond gefrætwade foldan sceatas
leomum ond leafum, lif eac gesceop
rynna gehwylcum þara ðe cwice hwyrfaþ.

-----Halfdane

SHAKE YOUR..... 'SHRUBBERY'!

Llike a knight-errant of old, I was wandering through the dark and somber woods (here: http://stillinthewoods.blogspot.com/) when I ran into a fabulous beast (here: http://stillinthewoods.blogspot.com/2006/08/shulchan-aruch.html ).


O..... tay.


Steg (http://boroparkpyro.blogspot.com/) asks "Does the Shulhhan ‘Arukh of Lyadi have lists of 10 in it? I have no idea. I do know, though, that it doesn't have instructions on how to shake a lulav... "


I am flabbergasted ("Baruch atta Adonoi Eloheinu, melech ha oilum, asher flabberei et-gasteinu...") that the RASMIB™ has a lulav-related question!

Especially after the kashei-lulav were hammered out in detail last year (at least, I seem to remember that happening - didn't feel like re-reading all relevant blogs during lunch, though - but you may do so, there's nothing stopping you).

So, because it is absolutely nowhere near Sukkos, I decided to refresh your collective memories (well...., also because I have nothing else to post about - zip ben diddly, Jack bar all).


On Sukkos, we wave shrubbery at the sky and live in a lean-to out in the open. After a week of doing this we have an all-night dance party with a bunch of bearded men.

This means something.


The shrubbery, however, is key.


It's a compound shrubbery. An "arba minim". Which is waved in a particular way. Most confusing.


The waving, per the Mechaber, the Rama, and the Taz, is east, south, west, north, up, down (clockwise: derech yemin, al pi Chazal).
Nusach Ashkenaz, nusach Sefarad, and nusach Mizrahi – all follow this order.

Chassidim usually follow the Ari (nusach Yerushalayim), as cited by the Magen Avraham, who paskenned south, north, east, up, down, west.

The Levush preferred east, south, north, up, down, west; the Tur – east, north, south, west, up, down; Rashi – north, south, east, west, up down.

[Kodos (the brother of Kang) put all of this odd gesticulation into perspective, when he paskenned "We must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling! Twirling! Twirling! Towards freedom!"
How wise is that vort. He draws a clear link between this, the autumn festival, and the chag ha heruteinu (Peysach). ]

The Rebbe of Prolicz said "I once heard a talmid ask our Master ‘Do you believe that one’s avodas Hashem will be enhanced by purchasing such odd fruit?’
The Rebbe answered ‘if you aver that this is a question of bechol levavcha, I would ask why it is not a question of bechol meodeicha. And if you say that it is indeed a question of bechol meodeicha, I happen to have some esrogim for sale’."

Which, of course, is firmly in line with the teaching of Rav Chai Gaon, Rav Sherira Gaon, the Rambam, Rav Hirsch, and others.


In mittn drinnen, tayere rabbosai, I heard what you were up to at the end of last Sukkos! Being besimches over ‘nosson lanu Toireh’ does NOT mean singing 'Mipi El' and 'Yankif Der Gonif ' at the top of your lungs under Jodi’s window at four o’clock in the morning!

Just because you decided to exchange simches b’ruach for shikker ad-reiyach, and spontaneously held a comparative tasting of single malts, is no excuse!

It’s a good thing she has no idea what y’all meant when you praised her 'etrogeyn m’tukeyn'!


Damn hippies.



The rest of this post is a pointless and interrelated explanation of relevant terminology, for reference purposes (taken from 'Likutei Ha Yeshiva Chippas Emess' - an unpublished seifer by the Rabam). You may find it usefull. Or not.


Al netilas lulav = The blessing upon taking up the lulav and the esrog: "Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha olam, asher kidshannu be mitzvosav ve tzivanu al netilas lulav". Blessed are you, our Lord our G-d, king of the universe, who sanctifies us with your commandments, and who commands us to take up the lulav.


Arava = Brook-willow is not associated with either taste or smell, and represents someone who has neither good deeds nor knowledge of Torah. As is written in Psalms 68:5 "shiru l'Elohim zamru shemo solu larochev ba aravot be ya shemo ve ilzu le fanav" (Chant unto God, sing praises to His name, extol Him who rides upon the clouds, whose name is the Lord, and exult before Him). And, like the clouds upon which He rides, the willows represent the lips that praise, the prayer that is His service – these being all that a person with neither deeds nor knowledge can offer. Note the similarity between ‘aravot’ (clouds) and ‘arava’ (brook-willow).


Arba minim = The four species waved about on Sukkos (Esrog = Citron. Lulav = Palm frond. Hadassim = Myrtle branches. Aravos = Willow branches. Collectively, this is refered to as 'a shrubbery' (see Rav Monty Python's first Hagadah: Ha Kli Ha Kodosh.).

The complete arba minim (four species) go for as low as $20.00 on the Lower East Side (corner of Essex and Canal street), up to forty dollars in Boro Park. It is possible to get all four species, of a reasonably hiddur-mitzveyish quotient, for around $30 (with a little haggling – Main Street, Queens).

Or try the tables in the diamond district, 47th street near 7th avenue.


Ari = The Arizal, Rabbi Yitzhak Luria, born 1534 in Yerushalayim, nifter 1572 in Sfat (Safed).
A major Kabalist, whose thought dominates Jewish mysticism even today, except for that version of Kabala dabbled in by celebrities. The Arizal’s intellectual inheritance was collected and published by his pupil Rabbi Chayim Vital Calabrese (1543 – 1620) in an eight volume collection, the Shemoneh Shearim (Eight Sections), otherwise known as the Etz Chayim (which means ‘Tree of Life’, but also refers to both Rabbi Chayim and the diagram of the ten sefiros).


Bach = Rabbi Yoel Sirkes (1560?-1640), author of the Beis Chadash, which parallels the Beis Yosef as a commentary on the Tur.


Esrog = A citrus fruit grown on the margin of edibility, and quite lumpy. One can turn it into an aromatic preserve, but given the price we paid, better we should have it bronzed or sunk in clear plastic.

Esrog, or lump-lemon, has both taste and fragrance, and symbolizes the understanding and wisdom behind all of our actions. As it says in Psalms 104:1 "barachi nafshi et yehva Adonai Elohai gadalta meod, hod ve hadar lavashta" (Bless the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my G-d, you are extremely great, clothed with glory and majesty).

A perfect esrog comes only to those who yearn for it and toil in study, "in accordance with the pain is the reward, in accordance with the knowledge is the love of Hashem".

The esrog is one of the four species (arba minim) required for the feast of tabernacles (Sukkos), as it says in Vayikra (Leviticus), Parshas Emor, psook 23:40 "...u lekachtem lachem ba yom ha rishon peri ets hadar kapot temarim va anaf ets avot ve arvei nachal u semachtem lifnei Adonai Eloheichem shivat yamim" (And you shall take for yourselves on the first day the fruit of splendid trees (esrog), fronds of palm trees (lulav), and twigs of thick trees (hadas: myrtle), and branches of brook willows, and you shall rejoice with them before the Lord, seven days).

This means that one needs to buy them BEFORE the first day - there is a parallel with Peysach, when the last of the chometz is destroyed before the first day.

As it says in Shmois (Exodus) 34:21 "sheshet yamim taavod u vayom ha sheviyi tishbot, be charish u va katsir tishbot" (Six days you shall labour but on the seventh day you shall rest; (even) at plowing and at harvest, rest.). Shmois (Exodus) 34:22 "ve chag shavuot taase lecha bikurei ketsir chitim, ve chag ha asif tekufat ha shana" (And the feast of weeks shall you observe, the first fruits of the wheat, and the feast of reaping at the turn of the year.).

Why are these juxtaposed?

To tell us that shabbes takes precedence, whatsoever feast or season it is. And, as in every seven days, one is shabbes, for a seven day feast, we need eight days. Rejoicing with them is taken to mean frantic gesticulating and shaking, in a specific manner, as if to say "see what I have!"

If a man waves his arba minim in the forest, and there are no witnesses to see him, has he really rejoiced?

The esrog is described as the most beautiful of the four minim - pri eitz hador. The greater the fruit, the greater the mitzvah. And, as there are esrogim which are not true esrogim (being the result of cross-breeding with other citrus fruits), only an esrog which is bulbuous, bumpy, veiny, can be assumed to be kosher le sukkois. And much to be admired, envied even.


Hadas = Myrtle, which smells lovely, symbolizes good deeds, but no knowledge of Torah. The hadassa represents straightforwardness and common sense, such as an uncomplicated person would have. It says in Zecharia 1:8 "raiti ha laila ve hine ish rochev al sus adom ve hu omed bein ha hadasim" (I looked in the night, and behold, a man riding upon a red horse, and he stood among the myrtle trees).


Levush = The Ba'al HaLevushim, Rav Mordechai Ben Avraham Yaffah (1535 - 1612), Talmudist and Kabalist, chief Rabbi of Grodne, who wrote a commentary on the Shulchan Aruch known by this name, short for Levush Malchus (Royal Vestment), and in reference to its ten divisions - the levushim (vestments).


Lulav =Palm frond has taste but no fragrance, and represents someone with knowledge of the Torah but no good deeds. But by a different interpretation, the lulav symbolizes upright conduct and character. As is written in Psalms 92:13 "tsadik ka tamar yifrach" (The righteous like the date palm shall bloom).

The lulav is waved when we recite the blessing ‘Al netilas lulav’, again during hallel, when we say ‘hodu l’Hashem’, and also at ‘yomar na’ (the reminder by the sheliach tzibbur to repeat ‘hodu l’Hashem’), but not at ‘yomru na’.

Hillel opines that we "wave at ‘Hodu l’Hashem’, beginning and end (twice), and at ‘Ana Hashem, Hoshiyana’", while Shammai adds "at ‘Ana Hashem, hatzlichah na’". Rabbi Akiva remarks, in reference thereto, that Rabban Gamaliel and Rav Yehoshua only waved their lulavim at ‘Ana Hashem, hoshiyana’.

"A lulav of three handbreadths in length (is) long enough to wave (and) is valid."


Magen Avraham = The Shield of Abraham – a commentary on Orach Chayim (the first section of the Shulchan Aruch by Yoisef Karo, which handles prayers, shuls, sabbaths, and holidays) by Rabbi Avraham Gumbiner of Kalitch, Poyland (1637 – 1683).


Mechaber = Author. The nickname of Yosef Karo (1488 – 1575), author of the Shulchan Aruch (Set Table), and the Beis Yosef (House of Joseph). Beis Yosef is a compilation of discussions on the laws (hilchois), often printed alongside the text of the Arba Turim (the Four Rows - a compilation in four sections of Halacha, by Rabbi Yakov Ben Asher (1270 - 1340), containing specifically those rules which are still applicable in golus).


Ramah = The Ramah (the ReMah); Rav Moishe Ben Yisroel Isserless (born 1525 or 1530 in Krakow, died 1572). Ashkenazic commentator, author of the Mappah (tablecloth), which is a supplement to Joseph Karo's Shulchan Aruch (the Set Table). The Shulchan Aruch is probably the most well known compendium of Jewish law, but is decidedly Sephardo-centric, which is why the Mappah is always printed alongside for the Ashkenazic bias.


Rashi = How, at this point, can you NOT know who Rashi is? You were chapping a shlof?


Taz = Turei Zahav (Rows of Gold), an explicatory commentary on the Shulchan Aruch by Rabbi David Ben Shmuel HaLevi (Krakow 1586 - Lvov 1667), one of the foremost rabbinical authorities in seventeenth-century Poland. The son in law of the Bach.


Tamar = Date-palm.


Tur = Both the Arba Turim (The Four Rows – in reference to the rows of semi-precious stones on the breastplate of the high priest, because the book consisted of four parts), a legal compendium by Yakov Ben Asher (1270 – 1343), and a short form of his book-name – Ba’al Ha Turim (the Master of the Rows). The Arba Turim much the model that Yoisef Karo followed when composing his Shulchan Aruch.

PEAR KUGEL - FORK IT PENSIVELY

Food is a consuming passion.

Now put down those greasy beef ribs and pay attention!

I wish to explain how this posting came about.



Food one: My previous posting was about gefilte fish, in response to a posting by AddeRabbi (On The Contrary.........................(הפוך (ב, whose blog is here: http://adderabbi.blogspot.com/).

Food two: In a comment underneath a posting about books on TAFKA PP's blog (posting here: http://goingslightlymad.blogspot.com/2006/08/bookends.html I mentioned five kinds of cocoa powder. Maturity means more chocolate. Who knew?

Food three: Underneath a posting by Lipman (see here: http://lipmans.blogspot.com/2006/08/second-generation-syndrome.html) I made reference to Ischa Meijer (Israël Chaim Meijer, b. 1943 d. 1995), writing "Ischa was a playwright, theatre critic (totally vicious!), columnist and interviewer, and, ironically, as good a chronicler and word-portrettist of Amsterdam as his father (Jacob Meijer, b. 1912 d. 1993). He too was a depressed and angry man, and hard to get along with."


Ischa Meijer wrote a column for many years for Het Parool under the pen-name 'De Dikke Man' (the fat man), anecdoting fondly & wistfully about Amsterdam. He brought the city to life as no other, and I enjoy rereading his daily columns whenever I feel in an Amsterdammish mood.

Unfortunately for you, dear reader, he wrote in Dutch - language of Vondel (Joost van den Vondel, 1587 -1679), Brederode (Gerbrand Adriaenszoon Bredero, 1585 - 1618, and Willem Godschalck van Focquenbroch (pronounce it slowly, 1640 - 1670). A wonderfull lashoin in which you are not yet fully literate.

But despair not.

You too can davka recapture the taam of his writing.

In a few of his columns he fondly mentions a Jewish dish made in Amsterdam, and still served by a few of the local corner koffie huizen, often only to favoured customers (so, why not go to Mokum Alef, and live for a few months near a promising koffie huis - you won't regret it).

Perenkugel - pear kugel.

One of his characters pensively states that each family must have two recipes. The recipe that the husband got from his mother, and the recipe that the wife got from hers. And that it is wise to say that the wife's recipe is the better one.

Even though that isn't true.

Your mother's recipe is always better.


This is my recipe. No mothers or wives were directly involved.
It is an all-male recipe.


PEREN KUGEL
[Sufficient for three hungry folks, or maybe eight or nine wussies.]


Four and a half pounds of pears; peeled, cored, thick cut.
Three and a half cups of flour; sifted.
Two cups of sugar, plus two TBS of sugar for the pear-poaching liquid.
One cup butter (2 sticks), or pareve margerine.
Half a cup ginger in syrup, chopped, with the syrup.
Half a cup raisins, rinsed.
One Tsp. cinnamon powder.
Pinches of ground cardamom, salt.
Zest of half a lemon, plus the juice.


Poach pears in water to cover, with the two TBS of sugar and the lemon juice, till semi tender.

Make a flexible though stiff dough of the other ingredients - add some of the pear poaching liquid if necessary, or more flour if it is too gloopy. Place the dough on top of the pears. Add more water to make the liquid come to just over the top of the dough. Place a heavy lid on the pot - use a kitchen towel to keep the steam in. Cook on low heat (use a heat absorber) for about six hours, adding more water if needed to keep the kugel from drying out. Let cool, and turn onto a platter.

----------------------------

NOTE I: The kugel can be set on the blech on Friday afternoon, and eaten the next day with lunch. After which you will probably want to sleep till Motzei Shabbes.


NOTE II: Like appeltaart (a thick apple tart, which is another typical Amsterdam, and hence Amsterdam Jewish, food item), peren kugel is the stuff of polite but very stubborn differences of opinion. Some people add almonds (beh!), others add more syrup-ginger and ginger powder (too much!), and of course some folks use vanilla.....(!!!).

Everybody has pretty much the same reaction when they eat some-one else's pear kugel: "this is good, yes, very good. It reminds me of... but there is just one tiny little thing, unimportant really, and I probably shouldn't mention it, but you know how it is, perhaps, just perhaps, and I hope you don't mind my saying this, next time you should......" and then follows some totally unimportant tiny little 'improvement' which you should just ignore.

I add a splash of strong coffee to the poaching liquid - it sparks up the flavour of the pears.


NOTE III: Mentioning food (1, 2, and 3 above) started a mental chain reaction and a process of association.

The process was helped along by fellow Californian blogger Chardal (blog here: http://chardal.blogspot.com/) waxing ecstatic: "Ah, the kishke - an indispensable staple of the Ashkenazi chulent. Well, there is real kishke and then there is what people today call kishke.
What people today call kishke is a type of well-spiced dough which is inserted into the chulent and slow-cooked until it absorbs all the flavors of the other foods in the cholent - quite delicious though it does not compare to the real variety. Most people do not make this dough at home but rather buy it at a store."

NOTE IV: Chulent / Cholent (pron: Tsholnt!!!) = a heavy casserole containing meat, vegs, lentils or beans, and fat or oil, which is cooked long and slow by putting it into the oven on Friday afternoon, before the start of the Sabbath, and leaving it to cook overnight for Saturday lunch (and so having a warm meal without breaking the injuction about labour on the Sabbath).
And of course you already know how to make Tsholnt, don't you?

Simmer two pounds of lamb with two chopped onions, two cups of garbanzos, two quartered potatoes, carrots, garlic, black pepper, paprika, a goodly dash of olive oil, and pinches saffron, cinnamon powder, and dry ginger, with water to well cover, in a heavy casserole with a tight fitting lid, at 200 degrees from Friday afternoon till mid-day Saturday. Then tell the shabbes-goy to 'remove it from the oven, place it on the table, and now please leave yes thank you very much goodbye see you next week'.

Eat smakelyk, y'all.

AS AMERICAN AS GEFILTE FISH

The AddeRabbi (http://adderabbi.blogspot.com/) made aliyah last week.

And this week, he writes: "The first American product that I missed was, believe it or not, gefilte fish. The Israeli stuff more resembles kishke."


Co inky dink!


While we lived in Europe, my father would sometimes wistfully mention the American foods that he longed for.

One of those things was gefilte fish. Which, my mother being an uninspired cook, it was a blessing that we did not serve. And at that time I had not become the food-slut that I am now, and so had no interest in making gefilte fish or reading about it either.

In the mid-seventies my father and I went to Brussels and Paris several times - Brussels because of the fine restaurants and wonderful drinking establishments (Belgians have no religion except eating and drinking), and Paris for a variety of reasons. Including restaurants in Le Marais, such as Goldenbergs (on the Rue Vielle Du Temple), which had chocolate cake to commit mayhem for, and a number of dishes on the menu that were, to me, unidentifiable, such as 'poisson farci'.

Which my father joyfully recognized as gefilte fish.

For him, a taste of 'home'. For me, a taste of America.

When I came to Berkeley in 1978, the gefilte fish situation was as bad as it had been in the Netherlands. So I wrote a friend, and got a recipe. Which, with almost no modifications whatsoever, I post below.

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GEFILTE FISH


Benodigd, voor de visballen:
Required, for the fishballs:

Twee pond lichte vis, zowel zee als zoetwater vis.
Two pounds of white fish, both fresh and saltwater.

2 Kleine uien, versnipperd.
2 Small onions, minced very fine.

6 - 7 Eetlepels matzemeel.
6 to 7 Tbs. Matzameal.

4 Eieren.
4 Eggs.

1 Eetlepel suiker.
One Tbs. Sugar.

2 Theelepel zout.
2 Tsp. Salt.

2 Theelepel peper.
Two Tsp. pepper.



Voor de soep:
For the soup:

Vier pond vissenkoppen, graten, en vel.
4 Pounds fishheads, scraps, bones, skin.

1 grote peen, geschraapt en gehakt.
A large carrot, cleaned and chopped.

4 stengels selderij, gehakt.
Four stalks of celery, chopped.

2 Kleine uien, gepeld.
Two onions, peeled.



Bereidingswijze:
Preparation:

Hak de vis erg fijn. Meng er doorheen: ui, matzemeel, eieren, suiker, zout en peper.
Chop the fish finely. Mix with the minced onion, matzameal, eggs, sugar, salt, and pepper.

Plaats de vismengsel in een kom en laat in de koelkast 1 uur rusten.
Place the fishmixture in a bowl, and let it rest one hour in the fridge.

Doe alle visresten, met peen, selderij, en ui in een kastrol, giet er genoeg water bij dat alles ruwweg 5 cm onder staat. Breng aan de kook en laat 15 minuten zachtjes (niet borrelend) koken.
Place all fishscrap materials, carrot, celery and the two peeled onions in a cauldron, add enough liguid that it stand under by roughly two inches. Raise to boil and simmer (do not allow to roil) for fifteen minutes.

Met vochtige handen ovalen ballen van het vismengsel vormen.
With damp hands form oval balls of the fishmixture.

Plaats de visballen voorzichtig in de hete vloeistof, bedeksel de pan, en laat de visballen 1 uur of ietwat langer sudderen. Lang garen heeft voordelen voor zowel de smaak als de structuur van de visballen. Let op dat de visbalen helemaal bedekt blijven met vloeistof, daar ze veel vocht opnemen. Voeg indien nodig wat (heet) water toe.
Place the fishballs carefully in the hot liquid, cover with the lid, and simmer for an hour or more. Long poaching improves both the taste and the structure of the fishballs. Check to make sure the balls remain inundated - they take up rather much moisture. If necessary add some (hot) water.

Neem de visballen met een spaan uit de pan en leg ze in een soep schaal.
Remove the fishballs with a slotted spoon from the pan, and place in a tureen.

Zeef het kookvocht, en schenk het over de visballen.
Strain the kooking liquid, and pour over the fishballs.

De gefilte fish is, mits bewaard in het kookvocht, ten minste 3 dagen in de koelkast houdbaar.
Gefilte fish, submerged in cooking liquid, can be kept for at least three days in the refrigerator.

Geef er mierikswortel (chrein) bij.
Serve with horseradish.

Het gerecht mag met de gekookte peen (gesneden of gesnipperd) gegarneerd worden.
The dish may be garnished with the cooked carrot (sliced or minced).

Alzook peterselie.
As well as parsley.

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Note 1.: I first posted this recipe January 25th. on http://shabboscooking.blogspot.com/ .


Note 2.: I confess to a major perversion (and now would be the right time to run outside screaming "La la la la la la la la la la la la la la I can't HEAR you!") when it comes to this dish. Specifically, I like adding coconut milk, lemon grass, galangal, and curry paste to the soup, plus rice-stick noodles (also called river noodles).

This approach treats it like a complex Indonesian soup -- think of saoto manok (soto ayam - a chicken soup with potatoes, vegetables, herbs, flavoured with turmeric and ground coriander), sop buntot ("arse" soup - oxtail stew with tomatoes, soy sauce, and star anise - served with crusty bread), saoto kambing (soto kambing - lamb or goat bone soup with tons of parsley and coriander, with fried potato nuggets). In any case, rather than chrein, a nice hot sambal is a good idea.
And chopped cucumber to cool a blistered palate.


Note 3.: Kishke is not my cup of tea. Is it yours? Feel free to wax poetic about kishke in the comments - no really, I insist.


Salamat makan and baruch Hashem.