CRISPLY FROZEN UNDERWEAR

Because of our recent freezing weather, conditions are so bad up in the mountains that Ted Cruz has fled to Can Cun and parties of Anglo immigrants from back east are reenacting the Donner Party. Blizzard conditions, which make your pee freeze on your fur coat when you go to the bathroom, and your runny nose render icicles that crash tinkle to the floor. People are exhausting their emergency supplies of Spam and canned stringbeans. It is horrid.

Well, maybe not that bad. But I'm fairly certain Ted Cruz isn't there.
He probably hasn't been spotted there in ages!

It's far too chilly, and people up there would probably cut him open to crawl inside for warmth, like a taun taun, all pudgy and fully fleshed. Blubber is great insulation.
Every Northern European knows that!

Down here in the civilized zone temperature hit low forties during the night.
The kind of weather that demands an angry letter to the editor.
I'll get on it when my fingers recover.

As you have probably guessed, I do not like this time of year. This isn't why the last three generations of my family came out to California. We could've stayed in Holland or Scotland near the arctic circle if this is what we wanted. Or even in New York city, where we lived between leaving the frozen wastes of late mediaeval Europe in 1630 and WW1.

Where is the tropical hothouse I was promised?
At present it's too buggery cold!
Polar bears!



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