According to many Magaites in the rest of the country, San Francisco is filled with homeless crazy people defecating on the sidewalks, drug addicts (most of the population) shooting up in doorways and dying on public transit, boarded up and burned out businesses, and all the good upstanding Christians are fleeing the city and state because of wokism and the communist dictatorships of London Breed and Gavin Newsom. Who eat babies.
It's all true.
Many of us have over a dozen needles injecting fentanyl, horse tranquilizer, crack cocaine, and BLM into our veins right now. Me too. There are open sores all up and down my arms and legs, and I need to go outside to either defecate or expose myself to screaming little children, scarring them for life. All because of high taxes and social welfare policies!
I think I'll kill kittens and shut down a few fast-food franchises while I'm there.
As well as loot the local Walgreens and Waffle House.
My gender re-assignment is due.
I am gay and naked.
Please don't visit SF. I don't want you to see me like this.
Little Roger and Emily, my cousins, should remember me as kindly Uncle John, who sang so sweetly in the choir on Sundays, and organized the revivalist bingo nights at the Assault Rifle Owners of America Retirement Home. Not the tattooed and pierced Satan-worshipping drag queen I have become. They should think good thoughts about me and pray for my salvation.
While keeping me and my co-conspirators at arms length.
And banning or burning our books.
Vital juices!
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