Tuesday, May 23, 2023


Uncle Roger, a comedian and snarky London-based food critic popular on the internet, has been banned in China. The ONLY possible explanation is that China's leadership is, inexplicably, fond of white folks fried rice.

You know. Rice only barely cooked but soggy, thrown into a pan with diced carrots, frozen peas, spring onion, and bean sprouts, ripped cooked chicken and scrambled eggs added, and a dash of soy sauce plus garlic salt. This is a recipe, btw.

Maybe a small dollop of tomato ketchup stirred in.

Plus some more spring onion added.
For that authentic touch.
It's an absolute classic. You hear sizzling. It has chili jam! Smack the like button!

White people are quite passionate about fried rice.

Eggs, miracles, and burnt garlic.

It's so random!

Precisely like dyed-in-the-wool Peking-accented Mandarin speaking party functionaries and bureaucrats will often prepare when they're sent to Iowa to learn all about pig farming, corn growing, and Walmart staffing, covertly, because they don't have anything like it in distant northeast Shensi, where all the best things come from, and patriotic Americans jealously safeguard their expertise in these fields.

Pigs, corn fields, and Walmart; progress, baby!

I don't know, is there anyone who eats fried rice like that?
Outside of the communes of Yanchuan?
I think it needs red-eye gravy.
A proletarian touch.

Perhaps add chopped canned ham.
For a really beautiful dinner.


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