BREAKFAST AMONG THE ANIMALS

A burger chain location near the wharf much visited by tourists got trashed by a local news writer recently. There is no point in delving into the pointless slag, other than to mention that instead she recommends one of my faves as a far more worthwhile alternative. With which I must take issue. For the very simple reason that hordes of dingoes from Tennessee or Mississississippi swamping the joint would be a nightmare of biblical proportions.

Next thing you know they'll have piped-in banjo music.

People will demand the vegan option.

Which doesn't exist.

A hamburger is made of five things. Grilled bovine substances, lightly toasted bun, crisp lettuce, sliced tomatoes, and something yellow. None of em' are vegetable. None!

The proper condiments are mustard, ketchup or preferably barbecue sauce, Sriracha, maybe some pickle slices, plus salt and pepper.


This is precisely what our ancestors ate while they were striding across the veldt roping bison and fighting off orcs. It's also why so many Europeans love real meat burgers; they had nothing but vegetables and cardboard to eat during the long years of the war!
Space aliens will know we won't eat them if we eat this.
It's church-fearing and karmic.


Jesus eats it.



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