Thursday, May 04, 2023


Like many Americans I have ambivalent feelings about certain vegetables. Broccoli reminds me of some individuals I probably would not want to see again, spinach is associated with supercilious waiters at a place famous for its beef, and kale brings a popular meme to mind involving coconut oil and scraping the resultant mess into the garbage. Corn on the cob is kind of boring, and carrots are rather institutional. What this indicates is not only that I am peculiar, but many (most) Americans can't cook.

Broccoli and cheese sauce. Really?

There's a sweetness to the stems of brocolli that cheese destroys. But that's your solution to so many things, isn't it? Just add that horrible American excuse for cheese to everything.
Make it all taste like a greasy vegetarian cheeseburger.
Or osterize it and make a cream soup.

Kale is actually extremely tasty sautéed with garlic, chopped fatty pork, chili paste, and shrimp sauce. Actually, any vegetable benefits from that treatment. Add a splash of sherry and some stock before it browns, and simmer a little longer.

Even cauliflower. What you lot have been doing to cauliflower is criminal.
No wonder it wants to take you out back and beat your ass.
Unsurprisingly very many people are concerned with losing weight. What this country needs, clearly, is a cheese-flavoured diet aid, perhaps a water soluble powder, that can be made into shakes, added to cereal, or spooned into soup. Cheese, a touch of mushroom, bacon, smoked paprika and cayenne (not much, just enough so it's cheeto strength).
Plus fibre, extra protein, taurine, caffeine, and vitamin B6.

Also in ranch and Italian flavours.

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