AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN

Some of the stuffed critters here are very rude. While they refer to my apartment mate as "young-lady-wahini-chickaboom", they call me "old guy". As in "hey old guy, lend me your plasticky thing (credit card), I need to go on the internet and buy something". And I should stress that my apartment mate is only eight or so years younger, so if I'm an elderly fossil,
she's catching up.

'Young Lady Wahini Chickaboom' is demented, but complimentary.
I cannot think of anyone who'd mind being called that.

'Old Guy' is one step above 'Old Fart'.
Staggeringly outrageous.


The little she-sheep is far more polite, identifying me as "the young gentleman". Which is more accurate too. But she is a very sensible and respectful sort of person, despite her youth.

And I should mention that I never let any of them use my credit card. I don't want to be stuck with a banana plantation or a truckload of grass suckeez. This does not stop them from finding my wallet (which contains the card), but seeing as they mostly don't have opposable thumbs (or have access to the computers), I'm reasonably safe there.


Four bears. Four penguins. A vampire hamster. Four monkeys. Two snakes. A froad. A skunk. Two raccoons. Three piglets. Two kung fu hamsters. Two normal size totoros. One small totoro. Several frogs. Hippopotamuses. Two sheep. Two dinosaurs. A lizard, A giant black spider. An octopus. A turkey vulture. A large grinning cat. a small feisty cat. One Hello Kitty. Moussie.


Sometimes this apartment is very noisy. Usually that's on her side.


As you can tell, I am outnumbered.


Good thing at least half of them live in her room. I seldom go there. The most recent time was when I dropped off the turkey vulture, because he wanted company. He gets lonely at night, and on my side the control-monkey (mr. Oyster) keeps screaming "stupid bird" at him.
Which is both mean and insulting.

I strongly believe that we should be kinder to turkey vultures.
They are our friends. Even if they do wish to eat us.
Loveable and elegant little sociopaths.


He actually doesn't want to eat me.
My thighs aren't fatty enough.
I am far too scrawny.
What luck



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