Saturday, November 14, 2020


At some point, a person living in California will invent a non-dairy gluten free kale or beet icecream, with a small percentage of the profits going to save the rainforests. The company making it will be minority owned. It will be about the biggest thing since sliced beans.
If you don't love it, you're a meanie glut-o-phile destroying the planet.

It's organic! And green.

This blogger, on the other hand, is keenly waiting for the first steak-flavoured gelato, with layers of Bearnaise ripple. As well as rumaki fudge.

As you can tell, I've had it up to here with organic fair trade gluten-free. Everything has to be organic fair trade gluten-free. Coffee, tobacco, pasta, cheese, and clothing. Baby formula.
Soap and skin care products. Beer. Dessserts.

"Are there", someone asked me recently, "cigars that are certified organic and fair trade?"

No there jolly well aren't. For one thing, tobacco plantations in Latin America don't hold with that organic bushwa, because that means either stronger but "natural" pesticides (poisons) or severely limited yields of prime tobacco, and fair trade is a dammed good way to make a premium colonial cash crop unaffordable to the only group that can afford to buy it in the first place: First Worlders. You might find organic fair trade cigars in the Swisher Sweets aisle, perhaps next to the Havatampas and tipparillos. Machine rolled, scrap leaf.

"Are there cigars that are certified organic and fair trade?"

"Mmm, I suggest a double claro. It's green."

Insisting on organic fair trade cigars will only benefit the drug trade. Because of economies of scale, logistics, profit per acre ratios, and third world agribusiness.

Consider, for instance, that marijuana is one of the absolute top cash crops in the United States. Whereas tobacco and cotton have sunk to lows unthinkable since our founding, which tobacco and cotton financed.

Drugs are just so much more profitable than legitimate crops.
Coca leaves, Mary J, and Opium Poppies.

If you really want to improve the world, please demand certified organic fair trade marijuana, cocaine, and heroin. As well as methamphetamine produced in clean well-regulated labs.
With OSHA and local health department approval.

As further food for thought, Erythroxylum novogranatense is extremely adaptable to a variety of climactic conditions, and would probably thrive in vast areas of this country, both as a cultivated crop and growing wild. The Deep South looks to be an ideal growing area, and would benefit from the influx of cash enormously. The new prosperity would build schools, hospitals, paved roads, and would conceivably drag the natives out of the twin pits of poverty and ignorance.
The plus side is immense. A new American century.
The South would be relevant again.

It could be done in a way that's organic, fair trade, and gluten free.
So everyone, even Californians, would be happy.
We would an example to the world.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

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