THE WAY WOMEN DRESS

My apartment mate has a social engagement this Sunday, and, like many female persons, worries about how she will look. "I have nothing to wear" she wails, "no clothes at all!" No clothes. At all. This is of course complete nonsense -- if she habitually walked around buck naked, I would be the first to notice -- and I have told her so.

As it turns out, and this is a surprise to me, men and women have different standards, and are measured by different yardsticks.

According to her, as long as men's clothing isn't stained with car oil, and we don't actually smell bad, we're okay. Date, night at the opera, fancy restaurant? Disco? It's all good. John-boy is presentable.

She claims it's different for women.

Because of other women.



Ladies, y'all nuts. Are you clean? Did you brush your hair and teeth? Did you cover your crack and cleavage? Then, as long as you're not swearing like a sailor and brawling drunkenly, you are probably all right.

Personally, I prefer women who know how to act in public over glamour queens, and an Oxford cloth shirt over comfortable (loose fitting) blue jeans or corduroys looks not only perfectly acceptable, but presentable and appealing to boot.


The smell thing is a slight problem, however.


Because of work, I often reek of tobacco. On my days off there is a subtle whiff of pipe smoke, but on the evenings after I leave the mine, old ladies and children quail. One busdriver a year ago nearly threw himself out of the window, and subsequently quit that route. Which was actually a good thing, because he was a complete blistering a--hole, but evenso.

Normally I dress fairly presentably. Button shirt, slacks, loafers.
Fairly neat haircut and beard. No male jewelry.



If I were a woman, but with the same personality, I would probably dress similarly. With the addition of discreet earrings, perhaps, or a tasteful pearl necklace. And a reasonably thick bra, because no one needs to know where the nipples are.



Yeah I know that most men are experts at figuring out where the nipples are, based on geometry, statistics, and mathematical skills, almost as if they're paranormal, but there is no need to give them any help.





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