Thursday, January 28, 2016

SAN FRANCISCO WARMLY WELCOMES VISITING SPORTS FANS!

It turns out that San Francisco is not only hosting the Superbowl, but also allowing the building of something called "Superbowl City". Which is very disturbing. Native and long-time San Franciscans are famously ambivalent about visitors. We stand to be inundated by out-of-towners during the nearly two weeks leading up to this ridiculous sporting event.

It could not be worse if Donald Trump came to town.

According to the informative internet site for Superbowl City, it (SB City) will be "Loud, proud, inclusive and authentic, just like the Bay Area itself".

Why are we modelling ourselves on the rest of this region?!?


Lets start with a few significant examples.

Berkeley: this is the hellhole that invented arrogant know-it-all disapproval of everything, as well as belligerent and self-righteous demonstrations against stuff they don't understand, or in favour of violent scum of which for some deranged reason they approve. Other than some unbearable hipsters and ultra-left dickheads, mostly in the Mission Street area (and their supervisorial representatives), we are not like that.

Oakland: a high crime zone with one hell of a sh*tty attitude problem, where no one civilized lives. There is no there there, but there are plenty of vegans and murderers there. We are not like that.

South San Francisco and Daly City: suburbia squared, no culture, no reason to visit, and except for shopping malls with a large number of Asian restaurants, nothing to eat. We are not like that.

Richmond: possibly the arse hole of the known universe. Explorers are still mapping its tundric wastes. We are not like that.

Fremont, San Leandro, Hayward, San Pablo, Piedmont, Redwood City, and other places: Thank heavens we are not like that.

That stretch of lumpy dung behind the East Bay Hills:
Bleah. We are not like that.

San Jose: it smells bad and eats too much. We are not like that.


And, last and deservedly least, Marin and Sonoma Counties: hot tubs, vegans, whiny poseurs, and potheads. We are not like that.


Other than the tattooed freaks, trust fund trash, and internet yuppies, who have immigrated here in the last few years, we're mostly working class meat eaters, and those weed-snarfing losers on Market Street are the worthless retard-offspring of Midwesterners and other cis-Sierans.

San Francisco: come for the steak and whiskey.
Light up a cigar while you're here.
Piss off a douchebag.



Please don't smoke marijuana or wear leisure suits during your visit; that's what Colorado is for.




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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're kidding, right? Weed smoking on the sidewalks of SF is as common as the riff raff on 6th Street.

And you obviously haven't been to Kome in Daily City, a wonderful all-you-can-eat cornucopia of Japanese and Chinese cuisine for a low low price (when you consider all the sashimi and sushi there).

Oakland has barely improved but thanks to Uber an Lyft, it is safer to get around at night.

Can't disagree with you regarding San Jose, Berkeley, and Richmond, nor Marin County.

I have a soft spot for Sonoma County, especially whilst sipping wine on a warm summer's night in the gloaming.

Anywhoo...

I'll be avoiding Superbowl City like this new mosquito plague too.

Cheers...

Anarcho Zionist.

~Free the goldfish

The back of the hill said...

You're right, I haven't been to Daly City in aeons.

e-kvetcher said...

I'd like to visit Stinson. Sounds like a fun place.

The back of the hill said...

Other than feral potheads, it is.

Jambeau said...

Yeah, most of the Bay Area is a fucking hell hole.
except San Jose.

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