Saturday, November 23, 2013

RACIST DUTCH ADDICTED TO BLACKFACE

According to a recent news report, the Sinterklaas evening at the Dutch embassy in Washington will NOT include Zwarte Piet. This because the Americans have finally noticed the discord being generated by having someone in bold garish blackface caper, and threaten kids.

The report made quite clear that it was a decision by the embassy, there was no outside pressure, nor was there significant noise from any local Washingtonians that might have influenced them. It was due to possible sensitivities that blackfaced Pete was banned.


Background: Every year Saint Nicholas comes from Spain with his servant Pete, who is a Moorish gentleman with a gay preference for mediaeval poofy pants and colourful clothing, armed with a broom or faggot for birching the bejazis out of naughty children (boys). On the night of December 5, both of them ride across the roofs to distribute gifts and candy to obedient children, and abduct the delinquents, who will be taken back to Spain and sold to Arab slave-dealers.
Black Pete, naturally, is the bad cop in this equation.
As Mauritanians are a bit of a rarity in Holland, Black Pete's role is usually filled by someone in darkest shiniest blackface -- often a zesty teenage girl when I was a child, and please imagine what I presently think about shapely legs in dark dark hose -- wearing colourful motley, shoe polish, and brilliant red lipstick.
A typical American psychologist would say that I'm scarred from this, conflicted about skin-hue at the very least. That is of course quite absurd, but man oh man do I like dark thigh-highs.

As well as bright red pouty lipstick.

Oof.


ZWARTE PIET IS SACRED

The internet comments (in Dutch) make clear that attentive reading is a skill. It may even require talent. Readers over in the lowlands are going berserk. Many are now horribly offended that the United States dares to have opinions about their beloved tradition of having someone put on blackface and prance around like a demented dingo. It's for the children, dammit, stupid Americans! The children!
The Dutch embassy is legally foreign territory, defend our right to have curly hair frightwigs and thick lips there! Even if we have to forcefully eject every dumbass Yank from the building! The Americans are all a bunch of racist pigs, and ignorant besides, we'll show them what real culture is; ten thousand elderly Dutchmen wearing black pantyhose and poofy thigh-pants! Birch them all!
Clearly the Americans are cultural imperialists, forcing everyone to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and trying to outlaw all other festival traditions.
Swine!

And if Zwarte Piet is discriminatory, what about Father Christmas? An enslaver of height impaired people! Exploitation, capitalist excess, and sweatshop conditions! The cruelty! Arctic polluter!
And white! White! How racist!

I know -- let's boycott the damned Yanks!


Attentive reading is a skill, and possibly requires some talent. Skill and talent may be in very short supply in some villages in the hinterlands. Meaningful texts are so seldom encountered there that the peasants in Borrelkleum and Voddegeest, and other depressed little villages out in the polder, may not be entirely able to figure out what it all means.

And, keen to blame someone, they conclude that it's all the fault of the Americans.


AFTER WORD

Please note that reader-input underneath news articles often represents no more than the idiot classes, drunk again, and often crazy. They don't understand the world, and their desire to form a framework that makes it all comprehensible often leads to nutzoid beliefs and paranoia.
By and large, only the glueheads react thus and there.

Intelligent people will ponder well-written blogposts that they find on interesting internet sites, and leave their thoughtful comments here.
That is the difference between this feuilleton and a tabloid.
As, I'm sure, you've realized.


PS. Sorry about the incendiary subject line above this essay; it was written by my editorial team, which consists of several monkeys high as kites on fermented bananas, as well as a herring-snarfing penguin with severe attention deficit disorder.

I had nothing to do with it.




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1 comment:

perversely amphibious said...

All I want for Christmas is Zwarte Piet.

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