At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, February 17, 2013


There are times before the caffeine from that first cup of coffee in the morning hits me when my mind is somewhat free of its moorings. You, my faithful reader, may opine that that describes much of my mental state, no matter how stimulated and awake I am. You've read some of my blogposts, and you have recommended therapy.
Thank you.

However, I am not nearly as creative as you are.
You came here this morning deliberately.
Having searched for one phrase.
Several times.

What was your search criterion?

"Naked woman wants"

See? It's barely light on a Sunday morning, and you already decided, before heading off to church for a stern lecture on morality from a respected father figure, to troll the internet looking for "naked woman wants". Possibly you were worried that she might lead lesser men astray, OR you worried that she might catch a cold, and you wished to offer her advice. "Put some clothes on, naked woman" you would say, "it's mighty frigid out there". Because it is February, and wherever you are in the temperate zone of the Northern Hemisphere, it is cold.

Maybe the naked woman is NOT in the temperate zone of the Northern Hemisphere. She might be somewhere else. Where nudity was invented.

"Naked woman wants"

Just guessing, but anyone who captions their own blog or website thus may have something serious in mind. It's an advertisement, and a call for help.
She's darn well desperate. She desires something that her husband or lesbian lover can't give her, and which she doesn't get from her children, parents, or strangers in the street.

Naked woman wants pancakes.
Naked woman wants moon light.
Naked woman wants a nice hot bath.
Naked woman wants a cup of coffee.
Naked woman wants some horsemeat-free lasagna.
Naked woman wants to become queen of the universe.
Naked woman wants correspondence from a panel of experts.
Naked woman wants the sincere appreciation of a nice blogger.

The possibilities are myriad. I myself can think of any number of things which an unclothed female might want, but not being personally acquainted with the person, I would not dare to hazard a guess. I need to know more about her.
If, hypothetically speaking, I found a naked woman in my apartment, my first instinct would be to offer her a nice fluffy bathrobe and a hot cup of coffee. Because it is February. Only once she was properly warmed-up would we discuss other things. Fragrant oils, fuzzy stuffed animals, a nice hunk of meat, Dutch verse (no doubt many naked women are or could be interested in that subject), existential angst, and things that go bump in the night.
But first there has to be a naked woman.
Who very much wants.


Until such time as a real live naked woman is actually present, this blogger shall not speculate about her, nor about what it is that she could be searching for.
I shall not imagine any naked women, nor endeavor to speak to their issues, needs, and passions. Instead, I shall wait patiently until a feminine individual in a state of near or complete undress manifests herself, before engaging either her, OR her quandaries.

And so, dear reader, should you.

Now head off to church.

And don't think of naked women.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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