THAT WONDERFUL PARTY

This isn't going to be a pleasant post. Actually, it's going to be a prolonged squawk. Most irritating. Best you folks visit 'lolcats' or the 'blogess' right now.
G'wan, you don't want to be here. Trust me.


HIYA, BITCH!

I heard about the party for the entire freeking week. Everyone you invited talked about it, everyday, for the last seven days.
I know everyone YOU invited to your party. You didn't exclude anyone, did you?

I've known you since you moved here from Southern California, longer than almost everyone else in San Francisco. You actually like me. Your eyes light up when I come in. You're happy to see me.

And I know it's sincere.

Yet.......


You didn't invite me. You invited M. And E. and N. and T. and J. and C. and G. and R. and L. and B. and everyone else.

"Should I wear the spikes? Or maybe the slippers with rhinestones?"

"Oh, I know! That kicky short dress with the beaded mid-rif! Yay!"

The entire week. Where, whom, and when.
Did I mention that I've known you since you came up north? Significantly longer than anyone else?
I even know your socially inept sibling person (what gender is he-she-it actually trying to be?)!
But in precisely the same way that D. never introduced me to his mom when she was visiting (though he did introduce her to everyone else), and just like M. pretended I didn't exist when his family was in town, you decided that somehow certain folks could be overlooked.
Too aspy, I guess.
I know everyone who got invited.
I know them very well indeed.
But I am not one of them.

Maybe I should acquire a kicky short dress with a beaded mid-rif.
Betcha couldn't overlook me then, huh? Fabulous!

They just couldn't shut up about the party. Gerdarnit, they talked about it everyday.
Sounded like quite the most exciting thing in their lives.


What the fudge is it with you neurotypicals?

Am I really that horrible a person? There's a smell I don't know about?
Is my ability to socialize that repulsively flawed?
Am I ugly?
Unkind?


Is it my signal and at this point still strongly held and deliberate non-ownership of the hot cocktail dress with beads?


I see all of you people regularly. You happily chat with me. You aren't embarassed by the association, heck, I know most of you actually like my company. Somehow you manage to connect on a person to person basis. The asperger characteristics and partial deafness aren't that problematic.
Evenso........

Why?

It isn't gender - over half of the invitees are male.
It isn't sexual preference - most of them are straight.
It isn't age - several of them are my age or significantly older.
It isn't facial hair - a number of them are more... "individualistic".
It isn't tobacco - you, and most of them, smoke.

And I know it sure as heck ain't the lack of cocktail dresses and rhinestoned pumps - many of the attendees wouldn't be caught dead wearing those!

So what the buggery F is it?

Dammit, I've heard about the party from everyone of them. A wonderful happening. Truly, the event that everyone want's to talk about, attend, be seen at.

Couldn't they at least have shut the devil up or been more discreet, diplomatic, and tactful?


Years ago, one of my "friends" threw a housewarming party. I got to hear about it from everyone both before and after. Apparently it was the be all and end all of festivities.
That night, on my way home, instead of sensibly making a detour, I unthinkingly bicycled right past his building.
Wrong thing to do. I could hear how wonderful it was.
The next day I heard too.
And the day after that.
As well as the next several months.

Dammit, you folks don't even know the word 'ASPY'. How the friggin' heck do you get to exclude us?!? By what reason do you decide on our behalf that something wouldn't be right for us?
How come the THREE people who weren't invited are all aspys?
How the hell did you NT's even recognize what we have in common?
One might almost think it's a neurotypical plot - except you guys aren't that conscious.
And certainly not that detail oriented.


JUST TALK!

We'd like to get asked. Yes, you guessed right that we'd probably demur. Might not feel comfortable. And if we came we'd be ill at ease. Hide in a corner, and spend a lot of time off outside near the curb smoking and wondering whether we should just leave, or risk another hour of being freaked out by the crowd, uncomfortable and nervous.

If need be, we'd seriously consider purchasing a little black dress and some classy heels!

But you could at least ask. Wouldn't it be the right thing to do?
Just pretend that we might like to be included?
Honest, we would be so pleased!

A few months ago I suggested we all go out to a particular restaurant. No one felt like it.
Until after I left, that is. Found out later you all went there and had a wonderful time.
That restaurant. My suggestion. Same evening.
Good, huh?
It's a very nice restaurant, isn't it?
You've even been back there since then.
Several times.


Couldn't you at least have told all of them to shut the F up about the party?
Seeing as some of us weren't invited?
Three people.

I'm groomed, I wear clean clothes on a regular basis, I don't pick my nose or scratch my privates, and I don't say startling things or proposition people at random.

I play well with others.

I have never even mentioned that some dresses that show-off rather than cover-up make certain people (you know who!) look pudgy, and that those snazzy hot-bitch slut-pumps are a bad idea for a woman of any age, let alone fifty plus!

Those things are far more appropriate for Polk Street royalty than real females.
Trust me.

What?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

Oh yeah, you even invited some queens. Polk Street royalty was there.



Does time transpire that differently for Asperger types and neurotypicals?
We don't hurt any slower than you lot.
Normal stimuli affect us too.

If you prick us, we will bleed.



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