Wednesday, March 09, 2011

NOT THAT DESPERATE, NEVER THAT DESPERATE

One of my readers, distressed at the dissolution of my long-time relationship with Savage Kitten, has been encouraging me to have what might be called an intermediate fling.

So far, he (I assume it's a 'he') has suggested Philippinas, drunken college girls, and tattooed hussies.


QUOTE:
"For that brief healthful romance, it wouldn't even matter if she were a tipsy, red hot Fillipina shoe obsessed shopper, as long as she didn't talk about it, eh? Have you ever hear the slang word, "spinner"?"


It's an interesting, if quite appalling concept. Using the term "romance" in such a context is an extremely poor choice of words.

While I will accept that there might actually be Philippinas that are not vulgar semi-illiterate compulsively consumerist status-queens, and who don't apply the comparison-shopping methodology to everything in their lives, the idea of casual sex ("brief etc.") does not appeal.
Such a thing is best left to the lower-classes in any case - they need something to occupy their pretty little finger-nail painted hands in between American Idol and Oprah Winfrey.


As for drunken seduction of young ladies, I should mention that I am not a fraternity boy. Consequently, I do not have a yen for violent congress in puddles of vomit and stale beer.
That's not even taking the sleaze factor into account - teenagers might be forgiven utilizing alcohol as fuel for irresponsible physical acts, what with hormones, desperation, frustration, idiocy, and rebelling against the verkrampte Puritanism of their parents, as well as the pornographic effect of video-games on their spongy young minds - but an adult man who takes advantage of intoxicated women conceivably has Heffnerish fantasies and no ethics.

I may be a bit of a grouch, but I am not a douche.

The less said about the 'unique individualists' who have a compulsion to mark up their bodies like so many sides of beef, with tramp-stamps and tribal stripes, the better.
Bad graphics may indeed be improved by tattooing them on a tit.
But I would rather keep the immature superficialists who have so little self-respect at far much more than arms length.
Trash and tattoos - chos ve sholom!


To put it plainly, my depraved fantasies involve sensible intelligent decent women.
Nice people, or bust.



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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

After having suggested excess alcohol, drugs, reefer, and casual encounters with "spinner" hoochies", I feel like your own personal Yetzer hora. Sort of like the antidote to Jiminy Cricket!

The back of the hill said...

My yetzer horo is a frikkin' saint. Either that, or very very repressed.

Anonymous said...

Hence the "teqilla" suggestion. Its a well known inhibition reliever, that's why its called "felony juice"! Perhaps "Yetzer Hora" liberator. "Reach up to brush something off of your face, and its the sidewalk."

On the more restrained approach, if one would like to meet a nice woman with similar interests, take an evening class in "Cantonese Poetry, or "Ukranian Hip Hop or Folk Deancing.
Or, if you want a wealthy one, "How to manage your personal wealth."

Anonymous said...

Hence the "teqilla" suggestion. Its a well known inhibition reliever, that's why its called "felony juice"! Perhaps "Yetzer Hora" liberator. "Reach up to brush something off of your face, and its the sidewalk."

On the more restrained approach, if one would like to meet a nice woman with similar interests, take an evening class in "Cantonese Poetry, or "Ukranian Hip Hop or Folk Deancing.
Or, if you want a wealthy one, "How to manage your personal wealth."

Tzipporah said...

"I may be a bit of a grouch, but I am not a douche."

I think you've found the subtitle for your resumé.

Anonymous said...

Now truly bad advice,for example would involve roofs and handcuffs, or having a girls name tatooo,Ed on your neck...as a way of trying to get her attention. Now that's bad advice! Purim is coming, live a little!

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