I am outraged! Outraged, I tell you. I have been mercilessly fisked by a small and feisty female, who has taken my fondness for a pipe-tobacco (Balkan Sobranie) which is no longer available to task, nay, even sent it up the flagpole and invited the world to throw raspberries at it.
[My fondness, that is. Not the pipe tobacco (Balkan Sobranie) itself. About which she has little to say.]
Fellow-blogger Infectious Asian wrote: "I also clicked on a link named "Tobacco List", and that was a frightfully stupid thing to do - forty pages or so of stuff about pipe tobacco - a lot of which is, obviously, about Balkan Sobranie and mr. Atboth's deep enduring love affair with his stinky mistress.
He loves to roll in it, to touch it, to fondle it, rub it all over his pasty middle aged torso, and breathe deeply and passionately of its heady perfume. Balkan Sobranie is better than ten women!
He remembers each and every lust embrace of Balkan Sobranie, each tar-stained kiss, each sooty frolic, and each sultry shred of stimulus. Balkan Sobranie!
That's pipe tobacco we're talking about, he isn't talking about ME, thank god even though I'm jealous, or even any other young ladies. Just pipe tobacco! Pervert!"
[SOURCE: http://infectiousasian.blogspot.com/2010/04/balkan-sobranie-till-youre-sick-of-it.html ]
Stinky mistress? Tar-stained kisses?
Forsooth! 'Tis slander!
That statement about touching, fondling, and rubbing it all over my pasty middle aged torso is a calumny of monumental proportion. If I had any Balkan Sobranie lying around I would stick it in my pipe, nothing else. Touching, fondling, and rubbing are perhaps things that should happen to YOU, you very naughty teenage person, but NOT to tobacco.
You have no cause for jealousy.
I also object to be being referred to as "an elderly Dutchman, no longer hormonally gifted," and "possibly dried up".
I'll have you know that I am still full of piss and vinegar.
Given the general tenor of her post, I suspect that the rambunctious fourteen year-old Cantonese-American blogger was both bored and seeking to stir something up.
[But she did give me some gratuitous linkage, including one to this post: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2008/08/balkan-sobranie-postscript.html
Linkage is always a good thing.]
POISONOUS PEN
There have been other times when Infectious Asian has shown her teeth.
In this post she un-gently ripped Katherine Fuchs (National Organizer US Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation) for several things, here she slashes at Lily Haskell of the Arab Resource Organizing Center, and in this post she rakes the Berkeley Daily Planet (the Bay Area's own anti-Semitic news rag) and its self-righteous publisher (Becky O' Malley) over the coals.
All in all, I probably got off lightly. Compared to what she wrote about Katherine Fuchs, Lily Haskell, and Becky O'Malley, it was an affectionate ribbing, rather than a rabid savaging. She has a talent for bile quite unusual in one so young.
I may have to suggest some other targets to her - Kate Raphael, Alice Walker, and Barbara Lubin haven't been mentioned much at all lately. Perhaps she should direct her bitchy attentions thither.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
6 comments:
Touching, fondling, and rubbing are perhaps things that should happen to YOU, you very naughty teenage person,
Is that an offer or a threat?
Oh, and thnaks for the links. I guess we're... even. Yes, that's it - "even".
Kate Raphael, Alice Walker, and Barbara Lubin
If I have time before the end of the year I'll start researching them.
Are you sure you don't want me writing about the nauseating Wallach sisters instead? They're much easier to write about, There is so much more material, you see. Being known for a lack of depth and perspicacity is a kind of fame.
Oh, and that they are alleged to have eaten the unborn third sister while they were still in the womb. That too is a kind of fame.
Is that an offer or a threat?
Either or neither. But if you wish to take it as an example of creepiness on my part, I shall not object.
My mind is fondly imagining you exclaiming "eeeeeeeeew!!" as you read this. Delicious!
And if you want to write about the Wallachs, don't forget about this post: http://proisraelbaybloggers.blogspot.com/2009/09/donna-and-darlene-wallach-san-jose.html
Quote: "A witness spoke of his extreme and toothsome delight at hearing these two dotty darlings detail why they despise Israel, the Jewish people in general, and many of their nearest and dearest kin in the whole wide world.
"
Remember, the pallies and their friends just LOVE anti-Semitic folk of Jewish origin. The Wallach sisters are that fetid and bent in that regard that they must give them explosive orgasms.
Anti-Semitism: it's the new sex-appeal.
TOBACCO INDEX
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