The United Nations, Berkeley, and San Francisco are merely suburbs of Brussels.
Quote:
" For many Europeans, Israel can’t hold a candle to the lure of the Arab world. When push comes to shove, their vast markets, energy resources, geographic proximity, and political clout in multilateral bodies usually trump anything Israel can offer. And with growing Muslim communities in their midst, many Europeans are increasingly concerned about antagonizing potentially volatile groups who could express their anger in the voting booths or the streets."
There's more. All of it can be found here:
http://blogcentral.jpost.com/index.php?cat_id=7&blog_id=64&blog_post_id=1496
[Article by David Harris published in the JPOST on September 11, 2007]
An article by the same author in the JPOST earlier this year details a different aspect:
" Two recent polls tell us what we already knew: Israel is relatively popular among Americans and the subject of considerable antipathy among European democracies."
------------[CUT]-------------
" ... Americans are more pro-Israel than they were 10 and 20 years ago and now sympathize with Israel three times more than with the Palestinians: 58 percent to 20%."
------------[CUT]-------------
" In the second poll, the BBC asked people in 27 nations to rate a group of countries and found that Iran and Israel were almost tied for the spot of the country most people saw as a "mainly negative influence." Only in the US and Nigeria did a plurality see Israel as a "mainly positive" influence. By contrast, in Germany, France and Great Britain, 77%, 66% and 65%, respectively, viewed Israel as having a "mainly negative" influence. "
More here:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1173173956510&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull
[Article by David Harris published in the JPOST on March 7, 2007]
David Harris eloquently details what many of us have argued for years, often to the deaf and dumb brick wall of our European friends and acquaintances. This is what we're up against.
Please note especially that the three European countries named stand in for all of them; in some countries the anti-Israel negativity is slightly less, in others slightly more.
[The Benelux countries are much more anti-Israel than they imagine themselves, the Scandinavians sanctimoniously pretend blamelessness, and as for the easterners, the less said the better.]
Given that a recent poll also shows that nearly half of the Europeans believe Jews have too much influence in politics and business (yes, that stereotype still thrives in Europe!), one can state that European anti-Israelism is virtually the same as anti-Semitism. Or as close as makes no difference.
Friday, September 14, 2007
THANK YOU FOR ASKING
Just checked my Yah Heww! e-mail account.
Disturbing.
Over thirty messages telling me in no uncertain terms that my masculinity is too small.
Merde.
Rather than immediately and venomously writing an angry response stating that the organ in question is ten feet long, hard as plank, and can batter down the doors to Castle Anthrax, I started wondering.
[Castle Anthrax: see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Anthrax]
Maybe these correspondents are telling me something. Maybe they're saying they're big as bucket and can accommodate all the bull elephants in Africa. If so, I truly feel sorry for them. Their womanhood has been wasted, and they probably smell rank and frowsty from two blocks away. Poor dears.
No sproing left at all.
I guess if you're stuck in a cat-house in Vladivostok, the only thing to do when you're bored in between visits by the fleet is to send insulting e-mails at random.
And I can really understand that; before caller i.d., when I was angry and frustrated at the world I would occasionally call strangers late at night and tell them something outrageous and unbelievable. It's the same concept.
Now that everyone has caller i.d. however, that door is closed, and one can no longer do that. Anonymous e-mails have necessarily replaced that option.
So type away, ladies. Send all the size-queen messages you can, and type faster, before the festering sores and infections make your last three fingers fall off.
Life is good.
Don't forget to use spell-check.
Disturbing.
Over thirty messages telling me in no uncertain terms that my masculinity is too small.
Merde.
Rather than immediately and venomously writing an angry response stating that the organ in question is ten feet long, hard as plank, and can batter down the doors to Castle Anthrax, I started wondering.
[Castle Anthrax: see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Anthrax]
Maybe these correspondents are telling me something. Maybe they're saying they're big as bucket and can accommodate all the bull elephants in Africa. If so, I truly feel sorry for them. Their womanhood has been wasted, and they probably smell rank and frowsty from two blocks away. Poor dears.
No sproing left at all.
I guess if you're stuck in a cat-house in Vladivostok, the only thing to do when you're bored in between visits by the fleet is to send insulting e-mails at random.
And I can really understand that; before caller i.d., when I was angry and frustrated at the world I would occasionally call strangers late at night and tell them something outrageous and unbelievable. It's the same concept.
Now that everyone has caller i.d. however, that door is closed, and one can no longer do that. Anonymous e-mails have necessarily replaced that option.
So type away, ladies. Send all the size-queen messages you can, and type faster, before the festering sores and infections make your last three fingers fall off.
Life is good.
Don't forget to use spell-check.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
POTATO PAPRIKASH
Paprikasz Burgonya
This is the well-known heartclogger, which is actually quite a bit better for you than you thought. Especially if you keep kosher.
Three large potatoes, peeled and chunk-cut.
Three small sweet peppers, chopped.
Three roma tomatoes, or one beefsteak tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
One large onion, chopped.
Two or three cloves garlic, chopped.
Two Tablespoons Paprika.
One teaspoon Cayenne (more or less, it's up to you).
Half teaspoon Cumin or Caraway seeds.
One cup sherry.
One cup (vegetable) stock or water, more as needed.
Salt and pepper.
Olive oil or clarified butter – two to four tablespoons.
In an enameled stew pot, heat the grease and gild the onions, peppers, and garlic. Then add the cumin or caraway seeds and paprika, stir very briefly till fragrant, and seethe the pan with the sherry, stirring loose any crusty bits. Add the potatoes and tomatoes, plus the stock or water to cover. Simmer for thirty or so, till the potatoes are soft and the liquid has become a thick ruby sauce. Now adjust the taste with salt and pepper.
Serve with sour cream (smatana) on the side, for glopping over.
Note: Gentiles would use rendered animal fat to fry the onions, peppers, garlic. And there's nothing wrong with that. But doing so makes it inappropriate to add the smatana. And you do want to dump LOADS of smatana on top. Do not fight the urge.
So, if you're Gentile, use chicken stock and clarified butter or drippings. If you keep kosher, use olive oil and vegetable stock.
Further note: Yes, I know cumin and caraway do not taste the same. But in this dish, they are interchangeable. Using caraway seed is culturally appropriate, using cumin is more Indian and subcontinental. I always have cumin in my larder. Caraway, not so much.
This is the well-known heartclogger, which is actually quite a bit better for you than you thought. Especially if you keep kosher.
Three large potatoes, peeled and chunk-cut.
Three small sweet peppers, chopped.
Three roma tomatoes, or one beefsteak tomato, peeled, seeded, and chopped.
One large onion, chopped.
Two or three cloves garlic, chopped.
Two Tablespoons Paprika.
One teaspoon Cayenne (more or less, it's up to you).
Half teaspoon Cumin or Caraway seeds.
One cup sherry.
One cup (vegetable) stock or water, more as needed.
Salt and pepper.
Olive oil or clarified butter – two to four tablespoons.
In an enameled stew pot, heat the grease and gild the onions, peppers, and garlic. Then add the cumin or caraway seeds and paprika, stir very briefly till fragrant, and seethe the pan with the sherry, stirring loose any crusty bits. Add the potatoes and tomatoes, plus the stock or water to cover. Simmer for thirty or so, till the potatoes are soft and the liquid has become a thick ruby sauce. Now adjust the taste with salt and pepper.
Serve with sour cream (smatana) on the side, for glopping over.
Note: Gentiles would use rendered animal fat to fry the onions, peppers, garlic. And there's nothing wrong with that. But doing so makes it inappropriate to add the smatana. And you do want to dump LOADS of smatana on top. Do not fight the urge.
So, if you're Gentile, use chicken stock and clarified butter or drippings. If you keep kosher, use olive oil and vegetable stock.
Further note: Yes, I know cumin and caraway do not taste the same. But in this dish, they are interchangeable. Using caraway seed is culturally appropriate, using cumin is more Indian and subcontinental. I always have cumin in my larder. Caraway, not so much.
GEHAKTE LEBER
Chopped liver.
One pound chicken liver or somewhat more.
One onion, chopped coarsely.
Quarter cup rendered chicken fat or clarified duck grease.
Three hard-boiled eggs, chopped coarsely.
One teaspoon paprika. Or more. It's up to you.
Generous pinches salt, pepper, cayenne, dry ginger, and mace.
Add the grease to the pan, heat it up a bit and add the onion. Sauté till the onion is lightly gilded, then add the chicken liver and seethe till cooked. Decant contents of pan to a bowl, add the eggs and the spices. Work over with a large fork, or a round-bladed chopping implement (such as used to be widely sold before electric mixers and laziness were invented).
Alternatively, work over on a flat surface with a chef's knife or Chinese cleaver. Once the ingredients can no longer be separated, even though they may be identified at sight, the chopping should end - it will now be a grainy-textured gunk.
Serve with rye bread, melba toasts, small pickles. And sherry. Make small talk.
Or simply flake out in front of the teevee late at night with a box of crackers and smear it on thickly. You should always keep the sherry bottle on the floor next to the chair in the teevee room for just such occasions - you would not want to wake up someone in the next room with sounds of dissipation.
One pound chicken liver or somewhat more.
One onion, chopped coarsely.
Quarter cup rendered chicken fat or clarified duck grease.
Three hard-boiled eggs, chopped coarsely.
One teaspoon paprika. Or more. It's up to you.
Generous pinches salt, pepper, cayenne, dry ginger, and mace.
Add the grease to the pan, heat it up a bit and add the onion. Sauté till the onion is lightly gilded, then add the chicken liver and seethe till cooked. Decant contents of pan to a bowl, add the eggs and the spices. Work over with a large fork, or a round-bladed chopping implement (such as used to be widely sold before electric mixers and laziness were invented).
Alternatively, work over on a flat surface with a chef's knife or Chinese cleaver. Once the ingredients can no longer be separated, even though they may be identified at sight, the chopping should end - it will now be a grainy-textured gunk.
Serve with rye bread, melba toasts, small pickles. And sherry. Make small talk.
Or simply flake out in front of the teevee late at night with a box of crackers and smear it on thickly. You should always keep the sherry bottle on the floor next to the chair in the teevee room for just such occasions - you would not want to wake up someone in the next room with sounds of dissipation.
LETSHO
Balkan Pepper Stew - Letsho, Letcho.
Half a dozen fresh peppers, chopped – Bell, Mulato Isleño, or fresh ancho (or a variety of smaller green and yellow peppers).
Half a dozen Roma tomatoes, or three or four beefsteak tomatoes. Peeled, seeded, chopped.
One large onion. Chopped.
One or two garlic cloves, optional, and however you like them fragmented.
One Tablespoon Paprika.
A quarter teaspoon caraway or cumin seeds (different in taste, but either works).
Salt, pepper, cayenne.
In the skillet, sauté the onion in olive oil till starting to colour. Add the peppers, and stir-fry till fragrant. Add the tomatoes and spices, and simmer for about ten minutes. It should be a moist stew with a recognizable lumpiness, neither soppy slop nor stiff goo.
Can be augmented with chunked zuchini or smoked sausage, even a nice fatty paprika sausage or something from Louisiana. If your name is Spiros, leave out the onion – I know how you are about those things.
This can also be used with little meatballs as a side dish, or with a fried egg for breakfast.
--------------------------------
Note: Something like this was what Dovbear (the blogger, not the bawuste Maggid of Mezeritch) dined on following the fast of Tisha B'Av. But you probably did the same with herring, kichel, and a shot of Talisker, didn't you?
Half a dozen fresh peppers, chopped – Bell, Mulato Isleño, or fresh ancho (or a variety of smaller green and yellow peppers).
Half a dozen Roma tomatoes, or three or four beefsteak tomatoes. Peeled, seeded, chopped.
One large onion. Chopped.
One or two garlic cloves, optional, and however you like them fragmented.
One Tablespoon Paprika.
A quarter teaspoon caraway or cumin seeds (different in taste, but either works).
Salt, pepper, cayenne.
In the skillet, sauté the onion in olive oil till starting to colour. Add the peppers, and stir-fry till fragrant. Add the tomatoes and spices, and simmer for about ten minutes. It should be a moist stew with a recognizable lumpiness, neither soppy slop nor stiff goo.
Can be augmented with chunked zuchini or smoked sausage, even a nice fatty paprika sausage or something from Louisiana. If your name is Spiros, leave out the onion – I know how you are about those things.
This can also be used with little meatballs as a side dish, or with a fried egg for breakfast.
--------------------------------
Note: Something like this was what Dovbear (the blogger, not the bawuste Maggid of Mezeritch) dined on following the fast of Tisha B'Av. But you probably did the same with herring, kichel, and a shot of Talisker, didn't you?
NEDERLAND WEG UIT AFGHANISTAN
Note for English-speaking readers: the following is nasty editorializing in Dutch. It is meant for a Dutch audience, even though I doubt that many of them will grasp the nuances. Hope springs eternal. So does snark.
--------------------------------------
Artiekel in het NRC:
http://www.nrc.nl/binnenland/article767606.ece/Te_veel_scepsis%2C_te_weinig_dank
Citaat: " Nederland is niet solidair genoeg met de troepen in Afghanistan, vindt minister Van Middelkoop van Defensie. „De kritiek en de scepsis zijn te veel overheersend." "
Om een schrijver van vorig jaar even te quoten: "Of die vriend nu bewust gekozen heeft voor het leger of voor zijn 'nummer' moest meevechten weet ik niet. In het eerste geval weet je dat dit het gevolg kan zijn indien je denkt dat je met wapens meningsverschillen kan oplossen."
[Dit was in reactie op een sneuvel bericht.]
Nederlanders geloven graag dat men altijd wel evenredig met anderen kunt onderhandelen. Hun eigen geschiedenis geeft daar blijk van.
Haal die Nederlandsche manschappen maar terug uit Afghanistan. De doorsnee Nederlander waardeert hun absoluut niet - en het internet komentaar liegt er niet om - maar instede blijft alles wat met militairen en landsverdediging van doen heeft verfoeien en kasteiden.
Niet dat men Nederlanders van lafheid kan beschuldigen; bange wezels zijn het echt niet. Nee, wat verbale aggressie betreft munten zij ver boven de meesten uit. Maar kijk eens, het is typisch Nederlands om te verbalizeren, en tevens typisch Nederlands om terzelfdertijde afzijdig en ""neutraal"" te willen zijn.
Het zal dus beter zijn als Nederland minder internationaal meedoet. En, in een Europeesche co-operatief kontext, hare strijdkracht afschaft. Men kan handhaving van vrede toch beter aan grotere buren overlaten.
Met pacifistische groeten,
-----B.O.T.H.
--------------------------------------
Artiekel in het NRC:
http://www.nrc.nl/binnenland/article767606.ece/Te_veel_scepsis%2C_te_weinig_dank
Citaat: " Nederland is niet solidair genoeg met de troepen in Afghanistan, vindt minister Van Middelkoop van Defensie. „De kritiek en de scepsis zijn te veel overheersend." "
Om een schrijver van vorig jaar even te quoten: "Of die vriend nu bewust gekozen heeft voor het leger of voor zijn 'nummer' moest meevechten weet ik niet. In het eerste geval weet je dat dit het gevolg kan zijn indien je denkt dat je met wapens meningsverschillen kan oplossen."
[Dit was in reactie op een sneuvel bericht.]
Nederlanders geloven graag dat men altijd wel evenredig met anderen kunt onderhandelen. Hun eigen geschiedenis geeft daar blijk van.
Haal die Nederlandsche manschappen maar terug uit Afghanistan. De doorsnee Nederlander waardeert hun absoluut niet - en het internet komentaar liegt er niet om - maar instede blijft alles wat met militairen en landsverdediging van doen heeft verfoeien en kasteiden.
Niet dat men Nederlanders van lafheid kan beschuldigen; bange wezels zijn het echt niet. Nee, wat verbale aggressie betreft munten zij ver boven de meesten uit. Maar kijk eens, het is typisch Nederlands om te verbalizeren, en tevens typisch Nederlands om terzelfdertijde afzijdig en ""neutraal"" te willen zijn.
Het zal dus beter zijn als Nederland minder internationaal meedoet. En, in een Europeesche co-operatief kontext, hare strijdkracht afschaft. Men kan handhaving van vrede toch beter aan grotere buren overlaten.
Met pacifistische groeten,
-----B.O.T.H.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
LOTS OF GARLICKY GOODNESS
A friend forwarded a news clip about a restaurant worker on the East Coast crushing garlic with his feet. A huge bin of garlic. Sneaker-clad feet. In the parking lot behind the restaurant.
[http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/09/12/solis.stomping.garlic.wabc.wabc]
Well, that IS efficient.
Kudos for inventivity.
Feeding the masses requires strange things.
Like gloves.
I just love those rubber gloves they make food-service employees wear nowadays – pick up the dustpan with the rubber gloves, pick up dirty plates, cutlery and leftovers with the rubber gloves, pick up the sodden rag for wiping counters, implements, and work-surfaces with the rubber gloves..... see, the only things NOT contaminated will be the hands in the rubber gloves.
Those hands remain pristine.
And who doesn't want to be served by a wait-person with pristine hands?
========================
PERSPECTIVE: FOOD IN EUROPE
Lest any of my European readers now wish to sneer about American restaurants, I would remind them of an inquiry a few years ago into Shawerma places in the Netherlands. It appears that most of the owners and staff of those popular Middle-Eastern grill rooms and late-night snacketarias will not and can not eat the meat they serve. For two reasons: firstly, whatever the heck they call it on the menu, it's pork; and secondly, most of it is rotten.
Here are some good links for miserable Shawerma in the Netherlands:
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1206825
Smerigste’ shoarma blijft populair bij stappers met trek ('Nastiest shawerma remains popular with hungry drinkers').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205087
AD: broodje shoarma ook in Delft niet best ('Shawerma sandwich in Delft also not up to snuff').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205065
Broodje shoarma op eigen risico ('Shawerma sandwich at your own risk').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1204997
Kwaliteit shoarma bedroevend ('Quality of shawerma is tragic').
The most detailed article was in the Algemeen Dagblad, entitled: SHOARMA: BROODJE BEDORVEN BEDROG (Shawerma: Bun of Spoiled Dishonesty).
The writer was Paul Hovius. It was published in late summer 2002
It no longer appears to be available on the internet, so, for those of you who are curious, here are some quotes.
"Maar de liefhebber is gewaarschuwd. Over de duistere wereld van vieze ondernemers, bedorven vlees en lam dat geen lam is."
['But the afficionada has been warned. About the dark world of unclean proprietors, spoiled meat and lamb that is no lamb'.]
"Uit een onderzoek van het Algemeen Dagblad naar de kwaliteit van shoarma blijkt dat er bij de verkoop van deze hartige hap op een werkelijk ongelooflijke manier wordt gerotzooid en geklungeld. "
['From investigation by the Algemeen Dagblad into the quality of shawerma it is evident that there are unbelievably dirty practises and perversions associated with the vending of this tasty dish'.]
"Alles wat God, Allah en de Nederlandse wetgever gezamenlijk hebben verboden, kom je in de praktijk wel een paar keer tegen."
['Everything which God, Allah, and the Dutch lawmakers collectively have forbidden, you will encounter a number of times in the real world']
"...in de dagelijkse praktijk is het bij de meeste verkooppunten van shoarma een doffe ellende."
['In daily experience, it is a deeply miserable situation at most sales-locations for shawerma']
"Hygiëne lijkt een onbekend begrip."
['Hygiene seems an unknown concept']
"Het is eerder regel dan uitzondering dat vlees ongekoeld op weg is naar verrotting. Er wordt gespot met de meest elementaire regels die bij het bereiden van levensmiddelen in acht dienen te worden genomen. "
['It is more often the rule than the exception that meat is unrefrigeratedly on the road to rottenness. The most elementary rules of food-service are sneered at.']
"... maar liefst 9 van de 58 keer kreeg het panel shoarma voorgeschoteld die ,,niet meer geschikt was voor menselijke consumptie.'' Het vlees was in die gevallen volledig bedorven."
['At least nine out of fifty-eight times the panel was served shawerma which "was no longer suitable for human consumption." The meat in those incidents was entirely spoiled.']
"De lamshoarma stinkt en is oneetbaar. Volgens de eigenaar is er niets mis mee. ,,U weet niet hoe lamshoarma smaakt. Heeft u het wel eens eerder gegeten? Het behoort zo te ruiken. Dat zijn onze kruiden.''"
['The lamb shawerma stinks and is inedible. According to the owner, there is nothing wrong with it. "You do not know what it tastes like. Have you ever eaten it before? It is supposed to smell like that; those are our spices".']
"De eigenaar weigert overigens zeer resoluut de proef op de som te nemen.
Met een beroep op zijn geloof, vertikt hij het om van zijn eigen lamshoarma te eten. Waarom wordt duidelijk als de uitslag van het laboratorium binnen is."
['The owner nevertheless resolutely refuses to try it himself. Falling back on his religion, he firmly refuses to eat his own lamb shawerma. Why becomes clear once the results come back from the laboratory.']
The Algemeen Dagblad also researched other branches of the food-service sector. Shawerma parlours were be no means the worst offenders; half the herring places in the Netherlands did not meet reasonable standards, most cups of commercial coffee were pretty darn horrid, and many meat markets hadn't a clue about hygiene, butchery, or even basic quality. So, if you go to Holland, eat in Belgium.
[The Netherlands lags considerably behind Belgium, both as far as food safety is concerned, and particularly as regards food quality and cooking-skills.]
Since then, other news articles have dwelt lovingly on the incidence of food-poisoning in Spain, Portugal, France, North Africa, and Greece. Germany and Turkey got high marks for safety and cleanliness, as did Israel and Thailand.
English food, even fast-food, was described as mostly safe but largely inedible. Thick slices of Spam, battered and deep-fried, with soggy chips. Boiling fat and burning starch. Beans in a can. Or curried gristle served by Bengalis who were never even once visited by the culinary-inspiration fairy.
[http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/09/12/solis.stomping.garlic.wabc.wabc]
Well, that IS efficient.
Kudos for inventivity.
Feeding the masses requires strange things.
Like gloves.
I just love those rubber gloves they make food-service employees wear nowadays – pick up the dustpan with the rubber gloves, pick up dirty plates, cutlery and leftovers with the rubber gloves, pick up the sodden rag for wiping counters, implements, and work-surfaces with the rubber gloves..... see, the only things NOT contaminated will be the hands in the rubber gloves.
Those hands remain pristine.
And who doesn't want to be served by a wait-person with pristine hands?
========================
PERSPECTIVE: FOOD IN EUROPE
Lest any of my European readers now wish to sneer about American restaurants, I would remind them of an inquiry a few years ago into Shawerma places in the Netherlands. It appears that most of the owners and staff of those popular Middle-Eastern grill rooms and late-night snacketarias will not and can not eat the meat they serve. For two reasons: firstly, whatever the heck they call it on the menu, it's pork; and secondly, most of it is rotten.
Here are some good links for miserable Shawerma in the Netherlands:
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1206825
Smerigste’ shoarma blijft populair bij stappers met trek ('Nastiest shawerma remains popular with hungry drinkers').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205087
AD: broodje shoarma ook in Delft niet best ('Shawerma sandwich in Delft also not up to snuff').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205065
Broodje shoarma op eigen risico ('Shawerma sandwich at your own risk').
http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1204997
Kwaliteit shoarma bedroevend ('Quality of shawerma is tragic').
The most detailed article was in the Algemeen Dagblad, entitled: SHOARMA: BROODJE BEDORVEN BEDROG (Shawerma: Bun of Spoiled Dishonesty).
The writer was Paul Hovius. It was published in late summer 2002
It no longer appears to be available on the internet, so, for those of you who are curious, here are some quotes.
"Maar de liefhebber is gewaarschuwd. Over de duistere wereld van vieze ondernemers, bedorven vlees en lam dat geen lam is."
['But the afficionada has been warned. About the dark world of unclean proprietors, spoiled meat and lamb that is no lamb'.]
"Uit een onderzoek van het Algemeen Dagblad naar de kwaliteit van shoarma blijkt dat er bij de verkoop van deze hartige hap op een werkelijk ongelooflijke manier wordt gerotzooid en geklungeld. "
['From investigation by the Algemeen Dagblad into the quality of shawerma it is evident that there are unbelievably dirty practises and perversions associated with the vending of this tasty dish'.]
"Alles wat God, Allah en de Nederlandse wetgever gezamenlijk hebben verboden, kom je in de praktijk wel een paar keer tegen."
['Everything which God, Allah, and the Dutch lawmakers collectively have forbidden, you will encounter a number of times in the real world']
"...in de dagelijkse praktijk is het bij de meeste verkooppunten van shoarma een doffe ellende."
['In daily experience, it is a deeply miserable situation at most sales-locations for shawerma']
"Hygiëne lijkt een onbekend begrip."
['Hygiene seems an unknown concept']
"Het is eerder regel dan uitzondering dat vlees ongekoeld op weg is naar verrotting. Er wordt gespot met de meest elementaire regels die bij het bereiden van levensmiddelen in acht dienen te worden genomen. "
['It is more often the rule than the exception that meat is unrefrigeratedly on the road to rottenness. The most elementary rules of food-service are sneered at.']
"... maar liefst 9 van de 58 keer kreeg het panel shoarma voorgeschoteld die ,,niet meer geschikt was voor menselijke consumptie.'' Het vlees was in die gevallen volledig bedorven."
['At least nine out of fifty-eight times the panel was served shawerma which "was no longer suitable for human consumption." The meat in those incidents was entirely spoiled.']
"De lamshoarma stinkt en is oneetbaar. Volgens de eigenaar is er niets mis mee. ,,U weet niet hoe lamshoarma smaakt. Heeft u het wel eens eerder gegeten? Het behoort zo te ruiken. Dat zijn onze kruiden.''"
['The lamb shawerma stinks and is inedible. According to the owner, there is nothing wrong with it. "You do not know what it tastes like. Have you ever eaten it before? It is supposed to smell like that; those are our spices".']
"De eigenaar weigert overigens zeer resoluut de proef op de som te nemen.
Met een beroep op zijn geloof, vertikt hij het om van zijn eigen lamshoarma te eten. Waarom wordt duidelijk als de uitslag van het laboratorium binnen is."
['The owner nevertheless resolutely refuses to try it himself. Falling back on his religion, he firmly refuses to eat his own lamb shawerma. Why becomes clear once the results come back from the laboratory.']
The Algemeen Dagblad also researched other branches of the food-service sector. Shawerma parlours were be no means the worst offenders; half the herring places in the Netherlands did not meet reasonable standards, most cups of commercial coffee were pretty darn horrid, and many meat markets hadn't a clue about hygiene, butchery, or even basic quality. So, if you go to Holland, eat in Belgium.
[The Netherlands lags considerably behind Belgium, both as far as food safety is concerned, and particularly as regards food quality and cooking-skills.]
Since then, other news articles have dwelt lovingly on the incidence of food-poisoning in Spain, Portugal, France, North Africa, and Greece. Germany and Turkey got high marks for safety and cleanliness, as did Israel and Thailand.
English food, even fast-food, was described as mostly safe but largely inedible. Thick slices of Spam, battered and deep-fried, with soggy chips. Boiling fat and burning starch. Beans in a can. Or curried gristle served by Bengalis who were never even once visited by the culinary-inspiration fairy.
MY NEIGHBOR THE TROLL
This isn't what you think. It isn't lashon hara about some odious pissant, like you might logically expect from me, nor is it an irritable screed. It is a sweet posting.
Cute, even.
And, dare I say it, kawaii!
Earlier today I was returning from my morning visit to the tobacconist. As I was about to cross Post Street, a scene from 'Howl's Moving Castle' (an animated movie by Hayao Myazaki) went through my head.
By the time I passed the news-stand and the filthy sleeping drunk with the exposed hairy butt-crack, I was thinking of another one of Myazaki's movies, Tonari No Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro).
The story tells of two little girls who with their father move to a haunted cottage out in the countryside. Soon they discover that, though isolated, they are not alone. There are shy soot-ball creatures in the house, and a family of trolls lives nearby. There is an adult troll, and two little trolls - in a way a mirror of their own family. The term 'totoro' is a childish malformation of the term 'troll' (normally pronounced 'torōru' in Japanese).
You may read all about the movie here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Neighbor_Totoro
I encourage you to rent the movie. It is charming.
And here, for your time-wasting pleasure, are three youtube clips:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LbutBhkrrZk&mode=related&search=
Waiting for the bus. Probably one of the most charming parts in the movie takes place when the two girls are at the bus stop with umbrellas, waiting for their dad to return from the city. A large friendly monster joins them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7rxKLn40j4
Growing magic trees, followed by a midnight ride on the pelt of a roaring troll.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWo-uxXtgo4
A very long clip. Mei spots the two young Totoro and pursues them to their hiding place inside a hollow tree, where she discovers the big mac daddy of all Totoro.
I do not know precisely what spurred the memory. Perhaps it was the residual fragrance of the pipe-tobacco, or, more likely, it was the weather. It is a very humid day in San Francisco today, not cold but rather a little warm. Summerish. And overcast, but with a silvery quality to the clouds. Think rain, think large leaves.
Cute, even.
And, dare I say it, kawaii!
Earlier today I was returning from my morning visit to the tobacconist. As I was about to cross Post Street, a scene from 'Howl's Moving Castle' (an animated movie by Hayao Myazaki) went through my head.
By the time I passed the news-stand and the filthy sleeping drunk with the exposed hairy butt-crack, I was thinking of another one of Myazaki's movies, Tonari No Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro).
The story tells of two little girls who with their father move to a haunted cottage out in the countryside. Soon they discover that, though isolated, they are not alone. There are shy soot-ball creatures in the house, and a family of trolls lives nearby. There is an adult troll, and two little trolls - in a way a mirror of their own family. The term 'totoro' is a childish malformation of the term 'troll' (normally pronounced 'torōru' in Japanese).
You may read all about the movie here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Neighbor_Totoro
I encourage you to rent the movie. It is charming.
And here, for your time-wasting pleasure, are three youtube clips:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LbutBhkrrZk&mode=related&search=
Waiting for the bus. Probably one of the most charming parts in the movie takes place when the two girls are at the bus stop with umbrellas, waiting for their dad to return from the city. A large friendly monster joins them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7rxKLn40j4
Growing magic trees, followed by a midnight ride on the pelt of a roaring troll.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWo-uxXtgo4
A very long clip. Mei spots the two young Totoro and pursues them to their hiding place inside a hollow tree, where she discovers the big mac daddy of all Totoro.
I do not know precisely what spurred the memory. Perhaps it was the residual fragrance of the pipe-tobacco, or, more likely, it was the weather. It is a very humid day in San Francisco today, not cold but rather a little warm. Summerish. And overcast, but with a silvery quality to the clouds. Think rain, think large leaves.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I AM NOT A CROTCHETTY OLD GEEZER!
I feel I have to say that.
I shall explain.
I took two aspirin on Sunday, while watching the Chabad Telethon.
That evening, Savage Kitten prepared seethed goat for dinner. It was very rich, and there was a lot of spicy grease left in the pan, some of which I sopped up with bread and sambal. It was delicious. But very rich.
I had an aspirin on Monday as soon as I got in to work.
Monday afternoon I had rich greasy pizza with garlic and extra cheese for lunch. By four o'clock, the pregnant ache in my left foot had become quite throb-some. I was pushing it.
I took another aspirin.
When I came home, she screamed that I should NOT enter the kitchen. Meanwhile, my foot had really become a pain in the......
About twenty minutes later, Savage Kitten came out of the kitchen with a large bowl of......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GEHAKTE LEBER!
.
.
.
Which, as you know, is very rich.
I ate much. And it was lovely.
More aspirin.
Went to bed at ten o'clock. And kept starting awake, due to pain in my left foot (precisely where the big-toe joins the main part of the pedal extremity itself). A taught sensitivity of the skin, coupled with painful twitchiness, and some swelling. Plus a throbbing sensation that faded in and out; a dull feeling as if the foot was clamped in a thumb-screw several sizes too small.
Slumber was fitful. No nightmares, but instead, creative re-interpretations of the pain in the foot by the mind. Fevered dreams of jungles, hot sunlight, and whales on many legs crashing through the distant trees. Definitely whales, though. Humpbacks and blues, but wearing camouflage colours. And beluga whales (delphinapterus leucas) wearing Viet-Cong black.
I believe I finally dropped into a deep sleep around three thirty. When I got up at seven, the pain had subsided considerably.
----------------
This morning, on the internet, I read:
".....some over the counter medicines such as ibuprofen can reduce the pain and inflammation slightly and provide temporary relief, but aspirin should not be taken as it can worsen the condition. "
Son-of-a-b....!
[To recap: One aspirin before lunch. One aspirin around five o'clock. One final aspirin after nine PM. Apparently that was a stupid move (or: three successive stupid moves). I was much vexed.]
Another quote:
"High levels of uric acid in the blood are caused by protein-rich foods. Gout (a form of arthritis which affects mostly men after 40) occurs when mono-sodium urate crystals form on the cartilage of joints, on tendons, and in the surrounding tissue. "
[And it is NO comfort to read that according to some ancient Roman physician, it seldom occurs in Eunuchs or boys before coitus, or that suppression of the menses may cause it. Fascinating, yes.]
Now, like me, you probably remember the unloving description of the gouty grandfather in Little Lord Fauntleroy as a crusty, foul-tempered old geezer. If not, no matter - there are several other literary portraits of elderly men with gout and horrible attitudes. Their number is legion. They drink sherry or port, swear at the butler, throw objets d'art at their family members, scream, and spend whole days in their suite with the curtains drawn, affected foot elevated, grumbling, and smoking incessantly
I am not like that at all.
And just to prove that, this evening I shall have some more of that delicious gehakte leber which Savage Kitten made for me. Plus some sherry.
I shall explain.
I took two aspirin on Sunday, while watching the Chabad Telethon.
That evening, Savage Kitten prepared seethed goat for dinner. It was very rich, and there was a lot of spicy grease left in the pan, some of which I sopped up with bread and sambal. It was delicious. But very rich.
I had an aspirin on Monday as soon as I got in to work.
Monday afternoon I had rich greasy pizza with garlic and extra cheese for lunch. By four o'clock, the pregnant ache in my left foot had become quite throb-some. I was pushing it.
I took another aspirin.
When I came home, she screamed that I should NOT enter the kitchen. Meanwhile, my foot had really become a pain in the......
About twenty minutes later, Savage Kitten came out of the kitchen with a large bowl of......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
GEHAKTE LEBER!
.
.
.
Which, as you know, is very rich.
I ate much. And it was lovely.
More aspirin.
Went to bed at ten o'clock. And kept starting awake, due to pain in my left foot (precisely where the big-toe joins the main part of the pedal extremity itself). A taught sensitivity of the skin, coupled with painful twitchiness, and some swelling. Plus a throbbing sensation that faded in and out; a dull feeling as if the foot was clamped in a thumb-screw several sizes too small.
Slumber was fitful. No nightmares, but instead, creative re-interpretations of the pain in the foot by the mind. Fevered dreams of jungles, hot sunlight, and whales on many legs crashing through the distant trees. Definitely whales, though. Humpbacks and blues, but wearing camouflage colours. And beluga whales (delphinapterus leucas) wearing Viet-Cong black.
I believe I finally dropped into a deep sleep around three thirty. When I got up at seven, the pain had subsided considerably.
----------------
This morning, on the internet, I read:
".....some over the counter medicines such as ibuprofen can reduce the pain and inflammation slightly and provide temporary relief, but aspirin should not be taken as it can worsen the condition. "
Son-of-a-b....!
[To recap: One aspirin before lunch. One aspirin around five o'clock. One final aspirin after nine PM. Apparently that was a stupid move (or: three successive stupid moves). I was much vexed.]
Another quote:
"High levels of uric acid in the blood are caused by protein-rich foods. Gout (a form of arthritis which affects mostly men after 40) occurs when mono-sodium urate crystals form on the cartilage of joints, on tendons, and in the surrounding tissue. "
[And it is NO comfort to read that according to some ancient Roman physician, it seldom occurs in Eunuchs or boys before coitus, or that suppression of the menses may cause it. Fascinating, yes.]
Now, like me, you probably remember the unloving description of the gouty grandfather in Little Lord Fauntleroy as a crusty, foul-tempered old geezer. If not, no matter - there are several other literary portraits of elderly men with gout and horrible attitudes. Their number is legion. They drink sherry or port, swear at the butler, throw objets d'art at their family members, scream, and spend whole days in their suite with the curtains drawn, affected foot elevated, grumbling, and smoking incessantly
I am not like that at all.
And just to prove that, this evening I shall have some more of that delicious gehakte leber which Savage Kitten made for me. Plus some sherry.
Friday, September 07, 2007
K'MENTIOS ZITZERS
I can not resist the lively market place of ideas and bile that is the blog of the bear. It's a compulsive thing.
And he has the most diverse readers, too.
Including, chos vay forefend, Christians!
Follows a SMALL cherry-picked sampling of comments appended to a recent Dovbearian post about Mother Theresa and her crisis of faith, as recently revealed in published letters.
[This post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/09/blurring-line-between-god-and-jesus.html]
Within mere seconds in blog-time, the comment-thread degenerated into a Christian love-fest. An odd developement, but like a nudist train-wreck, fascinating to watch.
We'll start with Lipman, who commented before the Christians crawled out of the woodwork:
Catholic or Jewish, there's certainly a fundamental difference between saying there is no God (or god, or 1/3 god), and being brouges with it (or him, or a fraction of them).
Writing this, I'm sure there are traditional ways of combining this, for instance if she (hypothetically) didn't believe God/Jesus was benign, one could equate this with a denial of god (3/3 or 1/3) as taught by Catholic doctrine. But that would be pilp-, sorry, Jesuite sophistry.Lipman Homepage 09.06.07 - 1:20 pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MT rejected the son. (or didn't feel the sons presence or whatever)
WHAAAAAAT???? A MOTHER rejecting the son?
Has child services been notified?
If I were MT I would cede custody to the father, hope to never see the little bastard again and never look back!The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.06.07 - 2:53 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough already with the Jesus shtoos ...
OFF TO WATCH ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL. TODAY'S EPISODE: POPE BENEDICT IS CAUGHT ON VIDEO SUREVEILANCE IN A JEWISH DELI IN ROME DURING LENT AND CONFESSES TO AN ADDICTION TO KOSHER SALAMI.Abe 09.06.07 - 5:10 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did I miss something, or did this suddenly turn into the I Love Jesus website? Why should we waste our time talking about this illegitimate son of a hair dresserbaruch 09.06.07 - 9:35 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the role of Jesus in Judaism? I was born a Jew and later found the Lord. Most Jews do not seem to be knowledgable as those posting on this blog.Jonathan 09.06.07 - 10:16 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
There aren't enough crackpot sects among our Jewish bretheren that offer you rapturous invitations to lunacy? I mean if you can't resist worshipping dead people, consider Lubavitch or Breslov. At least you'll remain in the tribe.Abe 09.06.07 - 11:18 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep, that's what they always say about us Jews: We have better sects.Lurker 09.07.07 - 7:00 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
I'm glad Jesus loves you because I sure don't. You are obviously one very confused individual. I imagine that you probably grew up reformed or conservative pretending that you were a goy and then decided to make it official. This is why I send my son to a Yeshiva.baruch 09.07.07 - 7:22 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking as a Jew, I think that perhaps the Jews should reconsider their outright rejection of any honor for this "Jesus" fellow. Of course, there is no need to follow the Chrisitian Trinity stuff, breaking up the One God into three sefirot, the "F-ther," "S-n," and "Holy Gh-st." After all real Jews would never, ever, break up their One God into multiple sefirot, would they?
No, a kosher Jewish theology of Jesus would go as follows:
Jesus was, indeed, the Mashiach, but G-d had him killed before he could Save the World, due to the Sinas Chinam then prevalent in k'lal yisrael at the time. The crucifixion was a warning to the Jewish people that was disregarded, which thus led God into messing with minds of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza, and thus the destruction of the Temple and our current exile.
As nearly all of Jesus' teachings are consistent with (i.e. ripped off) the Torah, we can consider him as basically a great rebbe who really did die for our sins, though, of course, his death didn't absolve us of anything, as it was done as a warning.
Thus, "Jesuser Jews" could follow the following simple customs:
1)They could observe the Birthday of Jesus as "Chag HaMolad" on December 25. While this is not exactly the same as turning Christmas into a Jewish holiday, it would go a long way to ending the December Dilemma, as well as making the winter solstice less depressing for Jews on those years when Chanukka falls out weeks before the solstice. I believe there is already a sefer of halacha out on this subject ("What if Christmas were a Jewish Holiday?"), so it should be pretty easy for Jews to observe Chag HaMolad.
2) The Yartzeit of Jesus (known to the goyim as "Good Friday") should be observed as a solemn day of repentance (after all, Jesus died for our sins, and we still didn't do anything about them.) I would recommend the following observances:
a) fast from sunrise to sunset, with a modest and subdued Shabbos meal as a break-fast.
b) midnight s'lichos services at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. (Reform services to be held at the Garden Tomb.)
c) Abbreviated s'lichos prayers as part of chacharis and mincha services.
d) A custom of eating candy eggs at the break-fast meal, as eggs are a sign of mourning.
All of this could spiritually prepare us for Tisha B'av.Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 8:57 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moabite...was the above comment you?The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.07.07 - 9:33 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Jesus H. Christ"
I know that you are in part pulling my leg, but your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and acccepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior. This is true for many Jews that I have come to know. Also, Baruch you seem like a very angry man. My parents actually go to a local Bais Chabad and the Rabbi has invited me on more than one occasion to attend servce. He speaks of the Messiah and has asked me about the Lord.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 11:33 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JONATHAN ...
ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE JESUS SHTOOS.
JOIN ME IN WATCHING ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL.
TODAY'S EPISODE: JESUS IS BEDRIDDEN AND JOSPEH SUSPECTS THAT HIS SUPER POWERS HAVE BEEN DIMINISHED BY INGESTION OF THE ONLY SUBSTANCE CAPABLE OF HARMING THE SUPER GOD --- EXPOSURE TO AN UNKOSHER SHELLFISH --- CRABTONYTE.Abe 09.07.07 - 11:55 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and accepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior.
Nudnick!! That's NOT what I meant. Jesuser Jews only believe that Jesus was mashiach who lost his job because he couldn't get the Jews to stop bickering amongst themselves. At most his words would be studied as one might study the works of a great rabbi. No Jesuser Jew would ever "accept" Jesus as his "Lord" and "personal savior." That would be the height of blasphemy. The only "Lord" a Jew has is the One God YHVH, and the only "personal savior" a Jew has his himself (or herself), through the performance of mitzvos.Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 11:57 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for clarifying your position, but believe it or not your previous suggestions seemed to make sense and would help me feel more comfortable being Jewish while maintaining my faith in the Lord. I know that many Jews consider Jesus to be a great rabbi but have trouble accepting him as the annointed one. Is there anything I could do to convince them that he is the "moshiach." The Rabbi at my parents' Bais Chabad also suggested that I have a meeting with him before Rosh Hashanah. I suspect that he is curious about my ideas and wants to help spread the word of the Lord.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 12:21 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met a girl at college who is also Jewish and who along with her parents accepted Jesus as her Lord. She also keeps kosher and says she observes Shabbat. Her dad is even a rabbi, and I'm going to ask him to get me ready for my meeting with my parents' rabbi at the shul. I know that Jesus loves me and that's all the suport I need.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 2:07 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
I suffer from bulemia and until I read your posts, I was having trouble throwing up today. Thanks for your efforts.Abe 09.07.07 - 3:08 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It all started when went to a bible study group at my college. I never met such nice people in my life. My interest in the Lord was not an intellectual thing at all. I always thought that Judaism was just so cold and mechanistic. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord, I was filled with a feeling or peace that I had never experienced before. Many of those who post on this blog seem to be mean sprited which is what I always found with my parents and their friends in the religious Jewish community. I also find Chabad to be obsessed with ritual with no real feeling toward other people and to be overly concerned with the superficial aspects of life.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 5:59 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
Thank you for ruining my Shabbos. You should be so lucky as to have been born a Jew. You are most likely a disturbed person who needs urgent psychiatric care.
baruch 09.07.07 - 6:04 pm #
I cannot say that I've ever enjoyed a discussion about jayzits more. It even reminded me of the Bible study group I attended three Thursdays in a row, over twenty years ago. The preacher's wife was this lovely young thing.... a round-headed brunette, creamy-skinned, petite, and discrete of mammary. Lordy, she was cute. Ooo-wee!
That old-time religion always reminds me of eye-candy.
And he has the most diverse readers, too.
Including, chos vay forefend, Christians!
Follows a SMALL cherry-picked sampling of comments appended to a recent Dovbearian post about Mother Theresa and her crisis of faith, as recently revealed in published letters.
[This post: http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/09/blurring-line-between-god-and-jesus.html]
Within mere seconds in blog-time, the comment-thread degenerated into a Christian love-fest. An odd developement, but like a nudist train-wreck, fascinating to watch.
We'll start with Lipman, who commented before the Christians crawled out of the woodwork:
------------------------------
Catholic or Jewish, there's certainly a fundamental difference between saying there is no God (or god, or 1/3 god), and being brouges with it (or him, or a fraction of them).
Writing this, I'm sure there are traditional ways of combining this, for instance if she (hypothetically) didn't believe God/Jesus was benign, one could equate this with a denial of god (3/3 or 1/3) as taught by Catholic doctrine. But that would be pilp-, sorry, Jesuite sophistry.Lipman Homepage 09.06.07 - 1:20 pm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MT rejected the son. (or didn't feel the sons presence or whatever)
WHAAAAAAT???? A MOTHER rejecting the son?
Has child services been notified?
If I were MT I would cede custody to the father, hope to never see the little bastard again and never look back!The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.06.07 - 2:53 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough already with the Jesus shtoos ...
OFF TO WATCH ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL. TODAY'S EPISODE: POPE BENEDICT IS CAUGHT ON VIDEO SUREVEILANCE IN A JEWISH DELI IN ROME DURING LENT AND CONFESSES TO AN ADDICTION TO KOSHER SALAMI.Abe 09.06.07 - 5:10 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did I miss something, or did this suddenly turn into the I Love Jesus website? Why should we waste our time talking about this illegitimate son of a hair dresserbaruch 09.06.07 - 9:35 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the role of Jesus in Judaism? I was born a Jew and later found the Lord. Most Jews do not seem to be knowledgable as those posting on this blog.Jonathan 09.06.07 - 10:16 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
There aren't enough crackpot sects among our Jewish bretheren that offer you rapturous invitations to lunacy? I mean if you can't resist worshipping dead people, consider Lubavitch or Breslov. At least you'll remain in the tribe.Abe 09.06.07 - 11:18 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep, that's what they always say about us Jews: We have better sects.Lurker 09.07.07 - 7:00 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
I'm glad Jesus loves you because I sure don't. You are obviously one very confused individual. I imagine that you probably grew up reformed or conservative pretending that you were a goy and then decided to make it official. This is why I send my son to a Yeshiva.baruch 09.07.07 - 7:22 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking as a Jew, I think that perhaps the Jews should reconsider their outright rejection of any honor for this "Jesus" fellow. Of course, there is no need to follow the Chrisitian Trinity stuff, breaking up the One God into three sefirot, the "F-ther," "S-n," and "Holy Gh-st." After all real Jews would never, ever, break up their One God into multiple sefirot, would they?
No, a kosher Jewish theology of Jesus would go as follows:
Jesus was, indeed, the Mashiach, but G-d had him killed before he could Save the World, due to the Sinas Chinam then prevalent in k'lal yisrael at the time. The crucifixion was a warning to the Jewish people that was disregarded, which thus led God into messing with minds of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza, and thus the destruction of the Temple and our current exile.
As nearly all of Jesus' teachings are consistent with (i.e. ripped off) the Torah, we can consider him as basically a great rebbe who really did die for our sins, though, of course, his death didn't absolve us of anything, as it was done as a warning.
Thus, "Jesuser Jews" could follow the following simple customs:
1)They could observe the Birthday of Jesus as "Chag HaMolad" on December 25. While this is not exactly the same as turning Christmas into a Jewish holiday, it would go a long way to ending the December Dilemma, as well as making the winter solstice less depressing for Jews on those years when Chanukka falls out weeks before the solstice. I believe there is already a sefer of halacha out on this subject ("What if Christmas were a Jewish Holiday?"), so it should be pretty easy for Jews to observe Chag HaMolad.
2) The Yartzeit of Jesus (known to the goyim as "Good Friday") should be observed as a solemn day of repentance (after all, Jesus died for our sins, and we still didn't do anything about them.) I would recommend the following observances:
a) fast from sunrise to sunset, with a modest and subdued Shabbos meal as a break-fast.
b) midnight s'lichos services at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. (Reform services to be held at the Garden Tomb.)
c) Abbreviated s'lichos prayers as part of chacharis and mincha services.
d) A custom of eating candy eggs at the break-fast meal, as eggs are a sign of mourning.
All of this could spiritually prepare us for Tisha B'av.Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 8:57 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moabite...was the above comment you?The Bray of Fundie Homepage 09.07.07 - 9:33 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Jesus H. Christ"
I know that you are in part pulling my leg, but your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and acccepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior. This is true for many Jews that I have come to know. Also, Baruch you seem like a very angry man. My parents actually go to a local Bais Chabad and the Rabbi has invited me on more than one occasion to attend servce. He speaks of the Messiah and has asked me about the Lord.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 11:33 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JONATHAN ...
ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE JESUS SHTOOS.
JOIN ME IN WATCHING ANOTHER RERUN OF "MY MOTHER THE VIRGIN" ON THE CATHOLIC CHANNEL.
TODAY'S EPISODE: JESUS IS BEDRIDDEN AND JOSPEH SUSPECTS THAT HIS SUPER POWERS HAVE BEEN DIMINISHED BY INGESTION OF THE ONLY SUBSTANCE CAPABLE OF HARMING THE SUPER GOD --- EXPOSURE TO AN UNKOSHER SHELLFISH --- CRABTONYTE.Abe 09.07.07 - 11:55 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
your suggestions make sense and would appeal to a lot of Jews who have come to know the Lord but who do not want to reject Judaism. I never felt loved and accepted before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior.
Nudnick!! That's NOT what I meant. Jesuser Jews only believe that Jesus was mashiach who lost his job because he couldn't get the Jews to stop bickering amongst themselves. At most his words would be studied as one might study the works of a great rabbi. No Jesuser Jew would ever "accept" Jesus as his "Lord" and "personal savior." That would be the height of blasphemy. The only "Lord" a Jew has is the One God YHVH, and the only "personal savior" a Jew has his himself (or herself), through the performance of mitzvos.Jesus H. Christ Homepage 09.07.07 - 11:57 am #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for clarifying your position, but believe it or not your previous suggestions seemed to make sense and would help me feel more comfortable being Jewish while maintaining my faith in the Lord. I know that many Jews consider Jesus to be a great rabbi but have trouble accepting him as the annointed one. Is there anything I could do to convince them that he is the "moshiach." The Rabbi at my parents' Bais Chabad also suggested that I have a meeting with him before Rosh Hashanah. I suspect that he is curious about my ideas and wants to help spread the word of the Lord.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 12:21 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met a girl at college who is also Jewish and who along with her parents accepted Jesus as her Lord. She also keeps kosher and says she observes Shabbat. Her dad is even a rabbi, and I'm going to ask him to get me ready for my meeting with my parents' rabbi at the shul. I know that Jesus loves me and that's all the suport I need.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 2:07 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
I suffer from bulemia and until I read your posts, I was having trouble throwing up today. Thanks for your efforts.Abe 09.07.07 - 3:08 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It all started when went to a bible study group at my college. I never met such nice people in my life. My interest in the Lord was not an intellectual thing at all. I always thought that Judaism was just so cold and mechanistic. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord, I was filled with a feeling or peace that I had never experienced before. Many of those who post on this blog seem to be mean sprited which is what I always found with my parents and their friends in the religious Jewish community. I also find Chabad to be obsessed with ritual with no real feeling toward other people and to be overly concerned with the superficial aspects of life.Jonathan 09.07.07 - 5:59 pm #
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonathan,
Thank you for ruining my Shabbos. You should be so lucky as to have been born a Jew. You are most likely a disturbed person who needs urgent psychiatric care.
baruch 09.07.07 - 6:04 pm #
------------------------------
I cannot say that I've ever enjoyed a discussion about jayzits more. It even reminded me of the Bible study group I attended three Thursdays in a row, over twenty years ago. The preacher's wife was this lovely young thing.... a round-headed brunette, creamy-skinned, petite, and discrete of mammary. Lordy, she was cute. Ooo-wee!
That old-time religion always reminds me of eye-candy.
That, and chewing gum.
Be sure to tune in next week, when Yonosson discovers Moishe Rabbeinu and is saved hallelujah, plus further episodes of "My Muddah De Voidjin", by Abe.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
THE POSSIBILITY OF WAR WITH SYRIA AT THIS TIME
The essay below has been cross-posted on Jameel's blog.
[Jameel at the Muqata: http://muqata.blogspot.com/ Post in question: http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/possibility-of-war-with-syria-at-this.html ]
I apologize taking up so much of Jameel's space and his readers' time with this post, and I extend my thanks to him for allowing me posting privileges on his blog in the first place.
[Also, it's ten o'clock at night in San Francisco, I'm full of caffeine, and probably no longer thinking straight. I would really love it if the readers rip this posting to pieces point by point.]
In postings both on Jameel's blog
(here: http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/elephant-in-room.html)
and at Joe Settler
(here: http://joesettler.blogspot.com/2007/09/taking-bets-upcoming-war-with-syria.html)
the chance that Israel will soon be at war with Syria is mentioned.
Is war with Syria this year likely? I believe it is.
Is war with Syria this year inevitable? Not necessarily.
Is it desirable? No.
If war breaks out with Syria in the Summer or Autumn of 2007, there will be involvement, in varying degrees, of several enemy entities: Syrian military and Syrian irregulars, Iran , Hezbollah, plus Hamas and other Palestinian elements (partly coordinated from Damascus).
SOME BACKGROUND
Syria’s rulers have drawn closer to and gained support from Iran in recent years, to the point where they can now reject pressure towards democratic and economic reform from the West, and have further strengthened their grip on all levels of Syrian society. To a lesser extent, this also applies to Lebanon, despite developments there since the assassination of Rafik Hariri.
In this they have been aided by events in Iraq, which have served as an object lesson - the prospect of 'democracy' has been tarnished by events in Baghdad and the idea itself has shown its dangerous side to a profoundly conservative population. United States success in Iraq (not likely) would present both Iran and Syria with a problem and a threat, whereas a US failure, while presenting risks, would allow both Iran and Syria to continue building their co-operation, advancing their own agendas, and expanding their influence in the region.
In relation thereto, Syria does not want the Sunnimajority minority in Iraq to gain power at the expense of the Shiites, as this could encourage and enable Sunni elements in Syria. And in that regard, any diminishing of US forces in western Iraq should be seen as providing opportunities in that area, whereas an increase would be a further drain on the US war effort, simultaneously strengthening the position of Shiite forces in Baghdad and the east. Plainly put, Syria can benefit from several different eventualities provided it remains in control of events.
A profound change in the Middle-Eastern realities will possibly benefit both Syria and Iran more than maintaining the current status quo.
THE POSITION OF SYRIA
Syria considers itself as the nation most entitled to present the Arab and Palestinian cause, and does not trust that the negotiations scheduled for this November will yield results satisfactory to Syria.
Specifically, Syria can and will not permit a comprehensive peace treaty with the Arab world unless the Golan Heights are returned.
In recent months Syria increased weapons production and significantly improved its arsenal, and has moved both forces and materiel to the border, where their intelligence activities have increased and fortifications have been strengthened. Training of forces (both regular and irregular) has intensified, and there is a likelihood of activity by guerillas leading to an all-out confrontation.
A Syrian war against Israel would mean conflict on several fronts, including the Lebanese border, Gaza, and the West Bank.
Scuds and Katyushas from both the Lebanese area and Syria proper would cause significant damage and disruption. Given recent Syrian tests coordinated with the Iranians, rocket range is probably 200 miles plus. Syria has warned that in the event of war with Israel, hundreds of missiles would hit Tel Aviv.
Further adding to Syria’s arsenal, Russia boosted Syria’s capabilities with an advanced anti-aircraft missile network (the Russian SA-18 anti-aircraft system), providing more anti-Aircraft coverage than any Arab state has ever enjoyed.
If Syria were to invade the Golan, a massive ground force supported by their advanced anti-tank and anti-aircraft weapons could seize and hold the area until a cease fire.
Which means that Israel would lose the Golan.
This would be a strategic and political disaster, and would prove damaging to Israel's position, on many levels, and internationally.
THE POSITION OF IRAN
Iran needs a major shift in Middle-eastern reality. Time and Ahmedinejad's term of office are both limited; for Ahmedinejad, events in the Middle-East must come to a head soon in order to scuttle international efforts against Iran's strategic initiatives (i.e. nuclear 'power' and regional influence). A limited Syrian war with Israel, with Iranian involvement, would boost Ahmedinejad politically, disrupt current anti-Iranian efforts, and probably prevent moderates from gaining power in Iran for the foreseeable future.
Iranian involvement would include but not necessarily be limited to Chinese-made C-802 missiles (which were supplied to Syria in the Spring of 2007), technical assistance, and seconded personnel as advisors (*).
* It should particularly be noted that since the American invasion, Iranian Revolutionary Guards and other branches have gained much practical experience in Iraq that can be applied elsewhere - this was already evident in Lebanon in 2006.
THE POSITION OF HEZBOLLAH
Syria has re-armed Hezbollah to such an extent that their capabilities are greater than before the 2006 war in Lebanon. Rockets, in particular, have been provided in significant quantity - including materiel from Iran. This indicates a preparedness to strike deep inside Israel.
The 2006 war showed that Israel is not prepared for the military action needed to eradicate Hezbollah, nor willing to recapture and hold territory in Lebanon.
Sheikh Nasrallah is committed to action in any case should hostilities break out.
THE POSTION OF HAMAS ET AL
First of all, it is well to remember what seems to be the golden rule of Palestinian politics: when events spiral out of control, denials increase.
FATAH: While Fatah offically is quiescent towards the Israelis, unofficially there are still the alliances of convenience and opportunistic co-operative ventures with violent elements. Fatah itself is an unreliable and ineffective partner; many of Fatah's members have a commonality of purposes with Syria and Hamas, or are influenced by foreign elements, and can easily be prompted into action. If there is war with Syria, there will be violence in the territories.
HAMAS: While there is no serious threat to Hamas' position in Gaza, they have reached their limits there unless the blockade is broken and the realities change. But they are still active in the territories, along with Islamic Jihad and several other groups, and there too Syria has influence. Both Hamas and Islamic Jihad have offices in Damascus, along with most other branches of the Palestinian enterprise.
Hamas, like Hezbollah, has more guns and ammo than they've ever had before, and their position and credibility are based upon being an effective force.
It is only because of their actions that they have received funding and assistance from outside, particularly from Iran and Syria. It is therefore a certainty that if war breaks out between Syria and Israel, both Hamas and Islamic Jihad will go into overdrive.
And they may even engineer the precipitating event of such a war.
THE POSITION OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD
Bluntly put: forget it.
Europe will not act on Israel's behalf without Israel making such concessions to both Fatah and Hamas as would amount to suicide, and in any case European public opinion can be counted on to be firmly opposed to Israel. Military involvement is entirely out of the question.
The United States has got its hands full in Iraq, and the president is in no position to forcefully commit the United States to Israel's defense at present. The political price of such an act at this time would cripple the current government and the Republican Party, and the United States would be faced with increased international isolation.
Turkey, Jordan, and Egypt would at best stay neutral, at worst would actively work against Israel. There are substantial political factions in all three of these countries who would welcome any war between Syria and Israel, and the position of all three countries would greatly improve in relation to the rest of the Islamic world if they abstained from any actions advantageous to Israel.
The United Nations can be safely relied upon to do absolutely nothing, achieve absolutely nothing, and mean absolutely nothing.
CONCLUSION
Many experts have already concluded that war is likely.
Syria has no reason to wait - it is clear that there is no discussion possible about the Golan, and they may well consider that successful negotiations require a change in the realities on the ground beforehand.
Iran has no reason to wait - international pressure on them (see above) will only increase.
Hezbollah has no reason to wait - they held their own against Israel in 2006, and they have been ascendant since then.
Hamas has no reason to wait - Gaza will only get worse, and opposition to their authority will increase.
All parties are at a state of readiness which is unprecedented, and there is little that will decrease the tension.
There is no better time for war than now.
-----B.O.T.H.
======================================
======================================
======================================
I posted previously about this material here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2007/06/four-fronts-gaza-west-bank-southern.html
Visit Jameel here: http://muqata.blogspot.com/
And visit Joe Settler here: http://www.joesettler.com/
And feel free to gloat if I am proven wrong.
======================================
Addendum, Friday September 7th. 2007
According to an anonymous commenter over at Jameel's, I may be a weird conspiracy theorist. Of course I don't think I am, but I am not really in a position to judge. In the same way that people who hear voices have no reason to believe that they are insane, conspiracy theorist have no reason to doubt their own take on reality. I shan't stay awake at nights worrying about it, though.
[Jameel at the Muqata: http://muqata.blogspot.com/ Post in question: http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/possibility-of-war-with-syria-at-this.html ]
I apologize taking up so much of Jameel's space and his readers' time with this post, and I extend my thanks to him for allowing me posting privileges on his blog in the first place.
[Also, it's ten o'clock at night in San Francisco, I'm full of caffeine, and probably no longer thinking straight. I would really love it if the readers rip this posting to pieces point by point.]
In postings both on Jameel's blog
(here: http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/elephant-in-room.html)
and at Joe Settler
(here: http://joesettler.blogspot.com/2007/09/taking-bets-upcoming-war-with-syria.html)
the chance that Israel will soon be at war with Syria is mentioned.
Is war with Syria this year likely? I believe it is.
Is war with Syria this year inevitable? Not necessarily.
Is it desirable? No.
If war breaks out with Syria in the Summer or Autumn of 2007, there will be involvement, in varying degrees, of several enemy entities: Syrian military and Syrian irregulars, Iran , Hezbollah, plus Hamas and other Palestinian elements (partly coordinated from Damascus).
SOME BACKGROUND
Syria’s rulers have drawn closer to and gained support from Iran in recent years, to the point where they can now reject pressure towards democratic and economic reform from the West, and have further strengthened their grip on all levels of Syrian society. To a lesser extent, this also applies to Lebanon, despite developments there since the assassination of Rafik Hariri.
In this they have been aided by events in Iraq, which have served as an object lesson - the prospect of 'democracy' has been tarnished by events in Baghdad and the idea itself has shown its dangerous side to a profoundly conservative population. United States success in Iraq (not likely) would present both Iran and Syria with a problem and a threat, whereas a US failure, while presenting risks, would allow both Iran and Syria to continue building their co-operation, advancing their own agendas, and expanding their influence in the region.
In relation thereto, Syria does not want the Sunni
A profound change in the Middle-Eastern realities will possibly benefit both Syria and Iran more than maintaining the current status quo.
THE POSITION OF SYRIA
Syria considers itself as the nation most entitled to present the Arab and Palestinian cause, and does not trust that the negotiations scheduled for this November will yield results satisfactory to Syria.
Specifically, Syria can and will not permit a comprehensive peace treaty with the Arab world unless the Golan Heights are returned.
In recent months Syria increased weapons production and significantly improved its arsenal, and has moved both forces and materiel to the border, where their intelligence activities have increased and fortifications have been strengthened. Training of forces (both regular and irregular) has intensified, and there is a likelihood of activity by guerillas leading to an all-out confrontation.
A Syrian war against Israel would mean conflict on several fronts, including the Lebanese border, Gaza, and the West Bank.
Scuds and Katyushas from both the Lebanese area and Syria proper would cause significant damage and disruption. Given recent Syrian tests coordinated with the Iranians, rocket range is probably 200 miles plus. Syria has warned that in the event of war with Israel, hundreds of missiles would hit Tel Aviv.
Further adding to Syria’s arsenal, Russia boosted Syria’s capabilities with an advanced anti-aircraft missile network (the Russian SA-18 anti-aircraft system), providing more anti-Aircraft coverage than any Arab state has ever enjoyed.
If Syria were to invade the Golan, a massive ground force supported by their advanced anti-tank and anti-aircraft weapons could seize and hold the area until a cease fire.
Which means that Israel would lose the Golan.
This would be a strategic and political disaster, and would prove damaging to Israel's position, on many levels, and internationally.
THE POSITION OF IRAN
Iran needs a major shift in Middle-eastern reality. Time and Ahmedinejad's term of office are both limited; for Ahmedinejad, events in the Middle-East must come to a head soon in order to scuttle international efforts against Iran's strategic initiatives (i.e. nuclear 'power' and regional influence). A limited Syrian war with Israel, with Iranian involvement, would boost Ahmedinejad politically, disrupt current anti-Iranian efforts, and probably prevent moderates from gaining power in Iran for the foreseeable future.
Iranian involvement would include but not necessarily be limited to Chinese-made C-802 missiles (which were supplied to Syria in the Spring of 2007), technical assistance, and seconded personnel as advisors (*).
* It should particularly be noted that since the American invasion, Iranian Revolutionary Guards and other branches have gained much practical experience in Iraq that can be applied elsewhere - this was already evident in Lebanon in 2006.
THE POSITION OF HEZBOLLAH
Syria has re-armed Hezbollah to such an extent that their capabilities are greater than before the 2006 war in Lebanon. Rockets, in particular, have been provided in significant quantity - including materiel from Iran. This indicates a preparedness to strike deep inside Israel.
The 2006 war showed that Israel is not prepared for the military action needed to eradicate Hezbollah, nor willing to recapture and hold territory in Lebanon.
Sheikh Nasrallah is committed to action in any case should hostilities break out.
THE POSTION OF HAMAS ET AL
First of all, it is well to remember what seems to be the golden rule of Palestinian politics: when events spiral out of control, denials increase.
FATAH: While Fatah offically is quiescent towards the Israelis, unofficially there are still the alliances of convenience and opportunistic co-operative ventures with violent elements. Fatah itself is an unreliable and ineffective partner; many of Fatah's members have a commonality of purposes with Syria and Hamas, or are influenced by foreign elements, and can easily be prompted into action. If there is war with Syria, there will be violence in the territories.
HAMAS: While there is no serious threat to Hamas' position in Gaza, they have reached their limits there unless the blockade is broken and the realities change. But they are still active in the territories, along with Islamic Jihad and several other groups, and there too Syria has influence. Both Hamas and Islamic Jihad have offices in Damascus, along with most other branches of the Palestinian enterprise.
Hamas, like Hezbollah, has more guns and ammo than they've ever had before, and their position and credibility are based upon being an effective force.
It is only because of their actions that they have received funding and assistance from outside, particularly from Iran and Syria. It is therefore a certainty that if war breaks out between Syria and Israel, both Hamas and Islamic Jihad will go into overdrive.
And they may even engineer the precipitating event of such a war.
THE POSITION OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD
Bluntly put: forget it.
Europe will not act on Israel's behalf without Israel making such concessions to both Fatah and Hamas as would amount to suicide, and in any case European public opinion can be counted on to be firmly opposed to Israel. Military involvement is entirely out of the question.
The United States has got its hands full in Iraq, and the president is in no position to forcefully commit the United States to Israel's defense at present. The political price of such an act at this time would cripple the current government and the Republican Party, and the United States would be faced with increased international isolation.
Turkey, Jordan, and Egypt would at best stay neutral, at worst would actively work against Israel. There are substantial political factions in all three of these countries who would welcome any war between Syria and Israel, and the position of all three countries would greatly improve in relation to the rest of the Islamic world if they abstained from any actions advantageous to Israel.
The United Nations can be safely relied upon to do absolutely nothing, achieve absolutely nothing, and mean absolutely nothing.
CONCLUSION
Many experts have already concluded that war is likely.
Syria has no reason to wait - it is clear that there is no discussion possible about the Golan, and they may well consider that successful negotiations require a change in the realities on the ground beforehand.
Iran has no reason to wait - international pressure on them (see above) will only increase.
Hezbollah has no reason to wait - they held their own against Israel in 2006, and they have been ascendant since then.
Hamas has no reason to wait - Gaza will only get worse, and opposition to their authority will increase.
All parties are at a state of readiness which is unprecedented, and there is little that will decrease the tension.
There is no better time for war than now.
-----B.O.T.H.
======================================
======================================
======================================
I posted previously about this material here: http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2007/06/four-fronts-gaza-west-bank-southern.html
Visit Jameel here: http://muqata.blogspot.com/
And visit Joe Settler here: http://www.joesettler.com/
And feel free to gloat if I am proven wrong.
======================================
Addendum, Friday September 7th. 2007
According to an anonymous commenter over at Jameel's, I may be a weird conspiracy theorist. Of course I don't think I am, but I am not really in a position to judge. In the same way that people who hear voices have no reason to believe that they are insane, conspiracy theorist have no reason to doubt their own take on reality. I shan't stay awake at nights worrying about it, though.
THE BLENDER
Shnoo' and I were having a conversation in the kitchen, and out of the corner of our eyes following the actions of one of our co-workers. With some wonderment and worry.
And this, by the way, will show why you should never borrow a blender. You don't know what has been in it. It just ain't a kosher vessel.
Yellow vanilla flavoured soy milk. A very large banana. Two pills that could not be identified. A large scoop of something that looked like wood shavings. A smaller scoop of something that may have been kosher-le-peysach potato starch. Gravel of vegetable origin (we think). Some dark green liquid from a bottle. Water.
The whole at high-speed till frothy. Resulting in enough for two or three generous servings of...... whatever that stuff was. Paperhanger's paste. Spirulina soup. Foamy ditch-skimmings. Glob-drippy grey-green muck-sludge.
This is lunch?
Urrk.
But on the other hand, who am I to judge? I myself have blessed a blender.
Five years ago I had three rotten molars janked, and had to stay off solids for a week while my jaws healed. Liquids only. Not too difficult, right?
First day: Beaten yoghurt. More yoghurt. And some yoghurt after that.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Second day: Beaten yoghurt. Fruity yoghurt. More fruity yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Third day: Beaten fruity yoghurt. And some plain yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Fourth day: I'm sick and tired of yoghurt, I've got dairy sludge coming out of my ears, this crap is BORING, and kinda disgusting to boot. What buncha degenerates invented this?!?!?!!!! Sweet cheeses I'm tired of this bloody buggery ghastly slimy white goo!!
I... NEED... GRUB!
Right at that point, I may have lost it.
Savage Kitten says she looked on as I put a can of chicken broth, teaspoon Thai red curry paste, teaspoon sugar, half an avocado, two tablespoons of peanut butter (crunchy), two whole jalapeños, and several strips of crispy fried bacon and some of the hot grease from the fry-pan into the blender. With a half a bottle of hot-sauce.
Vrrroooommm.
I was hysterically weeping as I drank it down.
Best darn smoothie ever.
Oh man.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
So, I really should not look askance at my coworker having a banana for lunch.
That's probably normal where he comes from.
And this, by the way, will show why you should never borrow a blender. You don't know what has been in it. It just ain't a kosher vessel.
Yellow vanilla flavoured soy milk. A very large banana. Two pills that could not be identified. A large scoop of something that looked like wood shavings. A smaller scoop of something that may have been kosher-le-peysach potato starch. Gravel of vegetable origin (we think). Some dark green liquid from a bottle. Water.
The whole at high-speed till frothy. Resulting in enough for two or three generous servings of...... whatever that stuff was. Paperhanger's paste. Spirulina soup. Foamy ditch-skimmings. Glob-drippy grey-green muck-sludge.
This is lunch?
Urrk.
But on the other hand, who am I to judge? I myself have blessed a blender.
Five years ago I had three rotten molars janked, and had to stay off solids for a week while my jaws healed. Liquids only. Not too difficult, right?
First day: Beaten yoghurt. More yoghurt. And some yoghurt after that.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Second day: Beaten yoghurt. Fruity yoghurt. More fruity yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Third day: Beaten fruity yoghurt. And some plain yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
Fourth day: I'm sick and tired of yoghurt, I've got dairy sludge coming out of my ears, this crap is BORING, and kinda disgusting to boot. What buncha degenerates invented this?!?!?!!!! Sweet cheeses I'm tired of this bloody buggery ghastly slimy white goo!!
I... NEED... GRUB!
Right at that point, I may have lost it.
Savage Kitten says she looked on as I put a can of chicken broth, teaspoon Thai red curry paste, teaspoon sugar, half an avocado, two tablespoons of peanut butter (crunchy), two whole jalapeños, and several strips of crispy fried bacon and some of the hot grease from the fry-pan into the blender. With a half a bottle of hot-sauce.
Vrrroooommm.
I was hysterically weeping as I drank it down.
Best darn smoothie ever.
Oh man.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]
So, I really should not look askance at my coworker having a banana for lunch.
That's probably normal where he comes from.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
SPEAKING WELL, SPEAKING ILL
It has been a while since I wrote about Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
Attentive readers may remember that Ms. Ali resigned her parliamentary seat and left the Netherlands after the Dutch liberal party (VVD) showed their most quisling behaviour in years - not that one should have expected much better since they bailed on Hans Wiegel nearly two decades ago.
[Wikipedia article on the VVD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People's_Party_for_Freedom_and_Democracy
Bio-data on Hans Wiegel:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Wiegel
Note especially this sentence: "He has 'threatened' to return to national politics a number of times, usually resulting in the VVD going up in the polls".]
That does not mean that Ayaan Hirsi Ali has disappeared. Her book 'INFIDEL' has gotten good reviews (and, as a worthwhile backgrounder, you might want to read Ian Buruma's 'A MURDER IN AMSTERDAM' at the same time.
[I encourage you to buy both books]
Expect more from her over the next several years - this is not a woman who is easily silenced.
Here's an interview with Ayaan Hirsi Ali (in English) in Der Spiegel:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,399263,00.html
It's well worth a read, especially as it would never be published in the Netherlands - too divisive.
Quotes:
"---The cartoons should be displayed everywhere. After all, the Arabs can't boycott goods from every country. They're far too dependent on imports. And Scandinavian companies should be compensated for their losses. Freedom of speech should at least be worth that much to us."
"---Not a day passes, in Europe and elsewhere, when radical imams aren't preaching hatred in their mosques. They call Jews and Christians inferior, and we say they're just exercising their freedom of speech. When will the Europeans realize that the Islamists don't allow their critics the same right? After the West prostrates itself, they'll be more than happy to say that Allah has made the infidels spineless."
"---Oddly enough, my critics never specify how far I can go. How can you address problems if you're not even allowed to clearly define them? Like the fact that Muslim women at home are kept locked up, are raped and are married off against their will -- and that in a country in which our far too passive intellectuals are so proud of their freedom."
Information on MS. Ali can be found on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayaan_Hirsi_Ali
She's currently in the United States, working for the American Enterprise Institute.
http://www.aei.org/scholars/scholarID.117,filter.all/scholar.asp
The Netherlands loss is our gain. How ironic that even when bright people are attracted to Europe, they still braindrain right on over to the United States.
In this instance, that probably has to do with the Dutch government being a bunch of paper-pushing wussies ever since they caved in to Napoleon over two centuries ago. Red-tape-ism, political cowardice, and apathy have long since become endemic diseases in the Netherlands - they've hardly amounted to a hill of beans after the assassination of Johan de Witt in any case.
And yes, I enjoy speaking ill of the Dutch. It's a lovely job, someone has to do it.
Attentive readers may remember that Ms. Ali resigned her parliamentary seat and left the Netherlands after the Dutch liberal party (VVD) showed their most quisling behaviour in years - not that one should have expected much better since they bailed on Hans Wiegel nearly two decades ago.
[Wikipedia article on the VVD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People's_Party_for_Freedom_and_Democracy
Bio-data on Hans Wiegel:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Wiegel
Note especially this sentence: "He has 'threatened' to return to national politics a number of times, usually resulting in the VVD going up in the polls".]
That does not mean that Ayaan Hirsi Ali has disappeared. Her book 'INFIDEL' has gotten good reviews (and, as a worthwhile backgrounder, you might want to read Ian Buruma's 'A MURDER IN AMSTERDAM' at the same time.
[I encourage you to buy both books]
Expect more from her over the next several years - this is not a woman who is easily silenced.
Here's an interview with Ayaan Hirsi Ali (in English) in Der Spiegel:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,399263,00.html
It's well worth a read, especially as it would never be published in the Netherlands - too divisive.
Quotes:
"---The cartoons should be displayed everywhere. After all, the Arabs can't boycott goods from every country. They're far too dependent on imports. And Scandinavian companies should be compensated for their losses. Freedom of speech should at least be worth that much to us."
"---Not a day passes, in Europe and elsewhere, when radical imams aren't preaching hatred in their mosques. They call Jews and Christians inferior, and we say they're just exercising their freedom of speech. When will the Europeans realize that the Islamists don't allow their critics the same right? After the West prostrates itself, they'll be more than happy to say that Allah has made the infidels spineless."
"---Oddly enough, my critics never specify how far I can go. How can you address problems if you're not even allowed to clearly define them? Like the fact that Muslim women at home are kept locked up, are raped and are married off against their will -- and that in a country in which our far too passive intellectuals are so proud of their freedom."
Information on MS. Ali can be found on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayaan_Hirsi_Ali
She's currently in the United States, working for the American Enterprise Institute.
http://www.aei.org/scholars/scholarID.117,filter.all/scholar.asp
The Netherlands loss is our gain. How ironic that even when bright people are attracted to Europe, they still braindrain right on over to the United States.
In this instance, that probably has to do with the Dutch government being a bunch of paper-pushing wussies ever since they caved in to Napoleon over two centuries ago. Red-tape-ism, political cowardice, and apathy have long since become endemic diseases in the Netherlands - they've hardly amounted to a hill of beans after the assassination of Johan de Witt in any case.
And yes, I enjoy speaking ill of the Dutch. It's a lovely job, someone has to do it.
THREE WATERS: MENUCHOS, MERARIM, AND RAGLIM
Something in the comments on another blog made me think of waters.
So here are three wet spots for your consideration.
MEI MENUCHOS = An easily comprehended book by Rabbi Nachman Kahane, notable of Young Isroel of Yerushalayim’s old city, and an authority on Temple ceremony. It is an explanation of commentaries, a phrase by phrase mefarsh on tosafos.
The name Mei Menuchos means tranquil waters, as in Psalm 23 “Binot deshe yarbitzeini al mei menuchot yenehalani” (….He makes me rest in green meadows, and leads me beside the tranquil waters, oh yeah).
MEI MERARIM = Bitter Waters. As mentioned in Bamidbar, and expanded upon in Meseches Sotah, a man who suspects his wife of adultery brings her to an auto da fe presided over by a kohen.
[Bamidbar (Numbers), Parshas Naso (psukim 4:21 through 7:89); relevant verses: psukim 5:12 through 5:31.]
Tractate Sotah is the Talmud part which deals with straying women, who must swear that they are innocent, if there is no evidence that they went astray, and who will then be presumed not guilty. Mere suspicion on the husband’s part can be overcome by the wife taking an oath. The most peculiar part of the tractate, however, is the part in which a woman who is presumed to have given reason for suspicion can be forced to drink water mixed with floor-sweepings from the Temple - the sweepings or dust have to be poured upon the water, not the water upon the sweepings or dust. The exact amount of sweepings or dust, or substitutions for same if housekeeping has been by recently, is a matter of discussion.
Upon drinking this bitter water, the guilty woman shall be sterile, sick of appearance, and afflicted with a bloated stomach and a gimpy leg. But the innocent woman shall be blessed and conceive of a son.
It is not recorded what the thoughts are of a woman who has been subjected to this ordeal, nor what women thought of the entire idea. It would have been interesting if it had.
[After describing the meal offering which is to be made, the tractate veers off into legal differences between the genders, defilement, food, languages which can be used ritually, priestly benedictions, the king’s reading on the feast of tabernacles, military clergy, exemption from military service, and the breaking of a heifer’s neck. It's one heck of a read.]
MEI RAGLAYIM = Urine. But according to some rabbeyim it is actually water from a spring which has an odour, and other sources aver that it is a stinky grass.
Why this machlokes?
Because mei raglayim is connected with the manufacture of ketores (incense), a fragrant offering, and it would be considered an offense to bring so base a substance into the service of the Presence.
It should be noted, though, that chemicals in urine function as fixatives and stabilizers, and have been used for that purpose in the manufacture of fragrances and incense since antiquity, much like some of the compounds in modern day perfumes.
You may want to really look into the added fragrances in soaps and lotions – you will be slightly sickened. But. You smell very good.
-------------------------------------------------------
BITTER WATER
Now, given that mention was made above of the dust-water trial of an adulteress, I reproduce the relevant watery verses below.
5:12 "Daber el-Benei Yisrael veamarta alehem ish ish ki-tiste ishto umaala vo maal" (Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: If any man's wife go astray, and act unfaithfully against him),
5:13 "Veshachav ish ota shichvat-zera venelam meeinei isha venistera vehi nitmaa veed ein ba vehiv lo nitpasa" (and a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, she being defiled secretly, and there be no witness against her, neither she be caught in the act),
5:14 "Veavar alav ruach-kina vekine et-ishto vehiv nitmaa o-avar alav ruach-kina vekine et-ishto vehi lo nitmaa" (and the spirit of jealousy come upon him and he be jealous of his wife and she be defiled; or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him and he be jealous of his wife and she be not defiled),
5:15 "Vehevi haish et-ishto el-ha kohen vehevi et-karbana aleiha asirit haeifa kemach seorim lo-yitzok alav shemen velo-yiten alav levona ki-minchat kenaot hu minchat zikaron mazkeret avon" (then shall the man bring his wife to the kahuna, and shall bring an offering for her, the tenth of an efah of barley flour; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon, for it is a meal-offering of jealousy, a meal-offering of remembering, bringing iniquity to remembrance).
5:16 "Vehikriv ota ha kohen veheemida lifnei Adonoi" (And the kahuna shall bring her close, and set her before the Lord).
5:17 "Velakach ha kohen mayim kedoshim bichli-chares umin-heafar asher yihye bekarka hamishkan yikach hakohen venatan el-hamayim" (And the kahuna shall take holy water in a clay pot, and dust from the floor of the Mishkan, and put it into the water).
5:18 "Veheemid ha kohen et-haisha lifnei Adonoi ufara et-rosh haisha venatan al-kapeiha et minchat hazikaron minchat kenaot hiv uveyad hakohen yihyu mei hamarim hamearrim" (And the kahuna shall set the woman before the Lord, and loosen the woman's hair, and put the meal-offering of remembrance in her hands, which is the meal offering of jealousy, and the kahuna shall have in his hand the bitter waters that cause the curse).
5:19 "Vehishbia ota ha kohen veamar el-haisha im-lo shachav ish otach veim-lo satit tuma tachat ishech hinaki mimei hamarim hamearrim haele" (And the kahuna shall make her swear, and shall say to the woman: 'If no man has lain with you, and if you have not gone astray to filth, being under your husband, you will be free from this bitter water that causes the curse),
5:20 "Veat ki satit tachat ishech vechi nitmet vayiten ish bach et-shechavto mibaladei ishech" (but if you have strayed, being under your husband, and if you are defiled, and some man has lain with you besides your husband),
5:21 "Vehishbia ha kohen et-ha isha bishvuat haala veamar hakohen laisha yiten adonai otach leala velishvua betoch amech betet Adonoi et-yerechech nofelet veet-bitnech tzava" (then the kahuna shall make the woman swear to this cursing oath, and the kahuna shall say to the woman "the Lord makes you a curse and a damnation among your people, when the Lord shall make your thigh wither and your belly bloat),
5:22 "Uvau hamayim hamearrim haele bemeayich latzbot beten velanpil yarech veamra haisha 'amen amen'" (and this water that causes the curse shall enter your bowels, and make your belly bloat up, and your thigh wither'; and the woman shall say: 'Amen, Amen.').
5:23 "Vechatav et-haalot haele ha kohen basefer umacha el-mei hamarim" (And the kahuna shall write these curses on a scroll, and he shall dissolve them in the bitter water).
5:24 "Vehishka et-haisha et-mei hamarim hamearrim uvau va hamayim hameararim lemarim" (And he shall make the woman drink the bitter water that causes the curse; and the water that causes the curse shall flow into her and become bitter).
5:25 "Velakach ha kohen miyad haisha et minchat hakenaot vehenif et-hamincha lifnei Adonoi vehikriv ota el-hamizbeach" (And the kahuna shall take the meal-offering of jealousy from of the woman's hand, and shall wave the meal-offering before the Lord, and bring it to altar).
5:26 "Vekamatz ha kohen min-hamincha et-azkarata vehiktir hamizbecha veachar yashke et-haisha et-hamayim" (And the kahuna shall take a handful of the meal-offering, as the memorial part, and smolder it upon the altar, after which he shall make the woman drink the water).
5:27 "Vehishka et-hamayim vehaita im-nitmea vatimol maal beisha uvau va hamayim hamearrim lemarim vetzavta vitna venafla yerecha vehaita haisha leala bekerev ama" (And when he has made her drink the water, it shall happen, that if she is defiled and has acted unfaithfully against her husband, that the water that causes the curse shall flow into her and become bitter, and her belly shall bloat, and her thigh shall wither, and the woman shall be a curse among her people).
5:28 "Veim-lo nitmea haisha utehora hiv venikta venizrea zara" (And if the woman is NOT defiled, but clean - then she shall be cleared, and shall become pregnant),
5:29 "Zot torat hakenaot asher tiste isha tachat isha venitmaa" (This is the law of jealousy, when a wife, being under her husband, goes aside, and is defiled),
5:30 "O ish asher taavor alav ruach kina vekine et-ishto veheemid et-haisha lifnei adonai veasa la hakohen et kol-hatora hazot" (or when the spirit of jealousy come upon a man, and he be jealous of his wife, then he shall bring the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall enforce this law against her).
5:31 "Venika haish meavon vehaisha hahiv tisa et-avona" (And the man shall be clear from iniquity, and that woman shall bear her iniquity).
So then. We know what Rashi thinks of this. But what do you think of it? What does this strange passage say to you?
So here are three wet spots for your consideration.
MEI MENUCHOS = An easily comprehended book by Rabbi Nachman Kahane, notable of Young Isroel of Yerushalayim’s old city, and an authority on Temple ceremony. It is an explanation of commentaries, a phrase by phrase mefarsh on tosafos.
The name Mei Menuchos means tranquil waters, as in Psalm 23 “Binot deshe yarbitzeini al mei menuchot yenehalani” (….He makes me rest in green meadows, and leads me beside the tranquil waters, oh yeah).
MEI MERARIM = Bitter Waters. As mentioned in Bamidbar, and expanded upon in Meseches Sotah, a man who suspects his wife of adultery brings her to an auto da fe presided over by a kohen.
[Bamidbar (Numbers), Parshas Naso (psukim 4:21 through 7:89); relevant verses: psukim 5:12 through 5:31.]
Tractate Sotah is the Talmud part which deals with straying women, who must swear that they are innocent, if there is no evidence that they went astray, and who will then be presumed not guilty. Mere suspicion on the husband’s part can be overcome by the wife taking an oath. The most peculiar part of the tractate, however, is the part in which a woman who is presumed to have given reason for suspicion can be forced to drink water mixed with floor-sweepings from the Temple - the sweepings or dust have to be poured upon the water, not the water upon the sweepings or dust. The exact amount of sweepings or dust, or substitutions for same if housekeeping has been by recently, is a matter of discussion.
Upon drinking this bitter water, the guilty woman shall be sterile, sick of appearance, and afflicted with a bloated stomach and a gimpy leg. But the innocent woman shall be blessed and conceive of a son.
It is not recorded what the thoughts are of a woman who has been subjected to this ordeal, nor what women thought of the entire idea. It would have been interesting if it had.
[After describing the meal offering which is to be made, the tractate veers off into legal differences between the genders, defilement, food, languages which can be used ritually, priestly benedictions, the king’s reading on the feast of tabernacles, military clergy, exemption from military service, and the breaking of a heifer’s neck. It's one heck of a read.]
MEI RAGLAYIM = Urine. But according to some rabbeyim it is actually water from a spring which has an odour, and other sources aver that it is a stinky grass.
Why this machlokes?
Because mei raglayim is connected with the manufacture of ketores (incense), a fragrant offering, and it would be considered an offense to bring so base a substance into the service of the Presence.
It should be noted, though, that chemicals in urine function as fixatives and stabilizers, and have been used for that purpose in the manufacture of fragrances and incense since antiquity, much like some of the compounds in modern day perfumes.
You may want to really look into the added fragrances in soaps and lotions – you will be slightly sickened. But. You smell very good.
-------------------------------------------------------
BITTER WATER
Now, given that mention was made above of the dust-water trial of an adulteress, I reproduce the relevant watery verses below.
5:12 "Daber el-Benei Yisrael veamarta alehem ish ish ki-tiste ishto umaala vo maal" (Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: If any man's wife go astray, and act unfaithfully against him),
5:13 "Veshachav ish ota shichvat-zera venelam meeinei isha venistera vehi nitmaa veed ein ba vehiv lo nitpasa" (and a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, she being defiled secretly, and there be no witness against her, neither she be caught in the act),
5:14 "Veavar alav ruach-kina vekine et-ishto vehiv nitmaa o-avar alav ruach-kina vekine et-ishto vehi lo nitmaa" (and the spirit of jealousy come upon him and he be jealous of his wife and she be defiled; or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him and he be jealous of his wife and she be not defiled),
5:15 "Vehevi haish et-ishto el-ha kohen vehevi et-karbana aleiha asirit haeifa kemach seorim lo-yitzok alav shemen velo-yiten alav levona ki-minchat kenaot hu minchat zikaron mazkeret avon" (then shall the man bring his wife to the kahuna, and shall bring an offering for her, the tenth of an efah of barley flour; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon, for it is a meal-offering of jealousy, a meal-offering of remembering, bringing iniquity to remembrance).
5:16 "Vehikriv ota ha kohen veheemida lifnei Adonoi" (And the kahuna shall bring her close, and set her before the Lord).
5:17 "Velakach ha kohen mayim kedoshim bichli-chares umin-heafar asher yihye bekarka hamishkan yikach hakohen venatan el-hamayim" (And the kahuna shall take holy water in a clay pot, and dust from the floor of the Mishkan, and put it into the water).
5:18 "Veheemid ha kohen et-haisha lifnei Adonoi ufara et-rosh haisha venatan al-kapeiha et minchat hazikaron minchat kenaot hiv uveyad hakohen yihyu mei hamarim hamearrim" (And the kahuna shall set the woman before the Lord, and loosen the woman's hair, and put the meal-offering of remembrance in her hands, which is the meal offering of jealousy, and the kahuna shall have in his hand the bitter waters that cause the curse).
5:19 "Vehishbia ota ha kohen veamar el-haisha im-lo shachav ish otach veim-lo satit tuma tachat ishech hinaki mimei hamarim hamearrim haele" (And the kahuna shall make her swear, and shall say to the woman: 'If no man has lain with you, and if you have not gone astray to filth, being under your husband, you will be free from this bitter water that causes the curse),
5:20 "Veat ki satit tachat ishech vechi nitmet vayiten ish bach et-shechavto mibaladei ishech" (but if you have strayed, being under your husband, and if you are defiled, and some man has lain with you besides your husband),
5:21 "Vehishbia ha kohen et-ha isha bishvuat haala veamar hakohen laisha yiten adonai otach leala velishvua betoch amech betet Adonoi et-yerechech nofelet veet-bitnech tzava" (then the kahuna shall make the woman swear to this cursing oath, and the kahuna shall say to the woman "the Lord makes you a curse and a damnation among your people, when the Lord shall make your thigh wither and your belly bloat),
5:22 "Uvau hamayim hamearrim haele bemeayich latzbot beten velanpil yarech veamra haisha 'amen amen'" (and this water that causes the curse shall enter your bowels, and make your belly bloat up, and your thigh wither'; and the woman shall say: 'Amen, Amen.').
5:23 "Vechatav et-haalot haele ha kohen basefer umacha el-mei hamarim" (And the kahuna shall write these curses on a scroll, and he shall dissolve them in the bitter water).
5:24 "Vehishka et-haisha et-mei hamarim hamearrim uvau va hamayim hameararim lemarim" (And he shall make the woman drink the bitter water that causes the curse; and the water that causes the curse shall flow into her and become bitter).
5:25 "Velakach ha kohen miyad haisha et minchat hakenaot vehenif et-hamincha lifnei Adonoi vehikriv ota el-hamizbeach" (And the kahuna shall take the meal-offering of jealousy from of the woman's hand, and shall wave the meal-offering before the Lord, and bring it to altar).
5:26 "Vekamatz ha kohen min-hamincha et-azkarata vehiktir hamizbecha veachar yashke et-haisha et-hamayim" (And the kahuna shall take a handful of the meal-offering, as the memorial part, and smolder it upon the altar, after which he shall make the woman drink the water).
5:27 "Vehishka et-hamayim vehaita im-nitmea vatimol maal beisha uvau va hamayim hamearrim lemarim vetzavta vitna venafla yerecha vehaita haisha leala bekerev ama" (And when he has made her drink the water, it shall happen, that if she is defiled and has acted unfaithfully against her husband, that the water that causes the curse shall flow into her and become bitter, and her belly shall bloat, and her thigh shall wither, and the woman shall be a curse among her people).
5:28 "Veim-lo nitmea haisha utehora hiv venikta venizrea zara" (And if the woman is NOT defiled, but clean - then she shall be cleared, and shall become pregnant),
5:29 "Zot torat hakenaot asher tiste isha tachat isha venitmaa" (This is the law of jealousy, when a wife, being under her husband, goes aside, and is defiled),
5:30 "O ish asher taavor alav ruach kina vekine et-ishto veheemid et-haisha lifnei adonai veasa la hakohen et kol-hatora hazot" (or when the spirit of jealousy come upon a man, and he be jealous of his wife, then he shall bring the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall enforce this law against her).
5:31 "Venika haish meavon vehaisha hahiv tisa et-avona" (And the man shall be clear from iniquity, and that woman shall bear her iniquity).
So then. We know what Rashi thinks of this. But what do you think of it? What does this strange passage say to you?
FERMENTED SKUNK PARTS
I was over at the tobacco store enjoying a pipe when the phone rang. One of the owners picked up, then turned to me and asked if I knew of a pipe-tobacco that came in a plaid or tartan plastic pouch.
Did I ever.
Clan. Clan Pipe Tobacco.
Clan is the bane of existence, one of the signs of the coming apocalypse. Clan is an aromatic pipe-tobacco made by Theodorus Niemeyer in the Netherlands. It is indescribably horrid.
Please imagine cheap artificially flavoured fruit-candy steam-pressed into sheets of industrial packing material, then sliced into thin sodden sugary shreds of badness.
Then drizzled with fruity shampoo.
In my youth, many well-meaning people of doubtful discrimination and taste would seriously urge me to smoke it, because it smelled so good, instead of what I had in my pipe at the time.
They loved the fine aroma of Clan, and made sure I knew that. If I had any consideration for humanity at all, surely, they seemed to suggest, I would smoke Clan.
Even some of my classmates smoked it; the sickly sweet swamp-reek of their pipes was noticeable in the school courtyard still several hours later. Wherever you find excessively hairy men with wide-lapelled shirts open to the waist, showing off their tans, chest fur, and cheap 14K gold jewelry, you will find packets of this nauseating tobacco - soggy, sugary, foetid......
Other pipe-smokers have been lyrical and eloquent about this product.
Consider the following text-fragments as a guest post by an entire community of angry men.
"The whole house smells like a Bangkok massage parlour, and I'm afraid I'm going to hurl - cheap perfume and floor sweepings combined - candied camel dung - the driest, nastiest, harshest chemical crap I've ever smoked - I want my mother - I can't drink soda till my tongue heals."
"This is evil pubic hair. It smokes hot and bites like a rabid weasel."
"This crap gives me nightmares."
"I'm sweating and sick to my stomach after half a bowl. They should print on the label 'warning, may cause bleeding nostrils and insanity'."
"Lit easily, considering that it's so dry, but holy crap this smokes like napalm. I couldn't finish it, and it left a fruity funk in the pipe that doesn't go away even after several other tobaccos. I swear they must've sauced this with roach spray."
"Suicide by smoking fermented skunk arse."
"Avoid this like you would an elderly perfumed tart. The smell stays around for hours and tells your wife that you've done something nasty."
Clear and succinct, no?
Apparently the gentleman on the other end of the line was not pleased when told that it was a drugstore tobacco and he should look for it at Rite-Aid or Walgreens. His grandfather had smoked it, his uncle had smoked it, and possibly his dad, it was a darn fine product. And it was very very wrong of the tobacco store not to carry it!
Some people are beyond salvation.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Did I ever.
Clan. Clan Pipe Tobacco.
Clan is the bane of existence, one of the signs of the coming apocalypse. Clan is an aromatic pipe-tobacco made by Theodorus Niemeyer in the Netherlands. It is indescribably horrid.
Please imagine cheap artificially flavoured fruit-candy steam-pressed into sheets of industrial packing material, then sliced into thin sodden sugary shreds of badness.
Then drizzled with fruity shampoo.
In my youth, many well-meaning people of doubtful discrimination and taste would seriously urge me to smoke it, because it smelled so good, instead of what I had in my pipe at the time.
They loved the fine aroma of Clan, and made sure I knew that. If I had any consideration for humanity at all, surely, they seemed to suggest, I would smoke Clan.
Even some of my classmates smoked it; the sickly sweet swamp-reek of their pipes was noticeable in the school courtyard still several hours later. Wherever you find excessively hairy men with wide-lapelled shirts open to the waist, showing off their tans, chest fur, and cheap 14K gold jewelry, you will find packets of this nauseating tobacco - soggy, sugary, foetid......
Other pipe-smokers have been lyrical and eloquent about this product.
Consider the following text-fragments as a guest post by an entire community of angry men.
"The whole house smells like a Bangkok massage parlour, and I'm afraid I'm going to hurl - cheap perfume and floor sweepings combined - candied camel dung - the driest, nastiest, harshest chemical crap I've ever smoked - I want my mother - I can't drink soda till my tongue heals."
"This is evil pubic hair. It smokes hot and bites like a rabid weasel."
"This crap gives me nightmares."
"I'm sweating and sick to my stomach after half a bowl. They should print on the label 'warning, may cause bleeding nostrils and insanity'."
"Lit easily, considering that it's so dry, but holy crap this smokes like napalm. I couldn't finish it, and it left a fruity funk in the pipe that doesn't go away even after several other tobaccos. I swear they must've sauced this with roach spray."
"Suicide by smoking fermented skunk arse."
"Avoid this like you would an elderly perfumed tart. The smell stays around for hours and tells your wife that you've done something nasty."
Clear and succinct, no?
Apparently the gentleman on the other end of the line was not pleased when told that it was a drugstore tobacco and he should look for it at Rite-Aid or Walgreens. His grandfather had smoked it, his uncle had smoked it, and possibly his dad, it was a darn fine product. And it was very very wrong of the tobacco store not to carry it!
Some people are beyond salvation.
TOBACCO INDEX
==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
LUISA MORGANTINI PROVES HERSELF ODIOUS
Trade between the European Union and Israel should be halted in protest at human rights violations in the Palestinian territories, per Luisa Morgantini, a vice-president of the European Parliament, speaking to a United Nations conference in Brussels.
Luisa Morgantini has called for the agreement under which Israel currently enjoys free trade in industrial goods, and preferential treatment of farm produce entering the European Union to be suspended.
[Info source: http://electronicintifada.net/v2/article8974.shtml]
Luisa Morgantini is a Member of the European Parliament. She has been a member of the Italian Communist Party since the early sixties.
Not surprisingly, she is also associated with Women In Black, having been one of the founders of the Italian branch of the Women in Black organization.
[I wrote about the Women in Black here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2007/04/women-in-black-some-more-background.html]
MARXIST-LENINIST WHACK-JOB
Like others among the Euro-sinister, Luisa Morgantini demands that the UN send peacekeeping troops to Gaza and the West Bank to protect Palestinians after they have committed atrocities.
And, again like many, she believes that she has a natural right to opinionate on issues which do not concern her, and which her leaders, her colleagues, and her kind have done much to make worse since 1948.
Most telling is this quote: "Any negotiations on an overall peace agreement should be based on the relevant UN Security Council resolutions and the certainty of a Palestinian State alongside the State of Israel with Jerusalem as a shared capital."
Sweetheart, a Palestinian state is by no means a certainty and arguably not desirable in the first place, Jerusalem is indivisible, the UN is a forum for third-world gangster regimes and has accomplished nothing since the fifties, and, just so you know, Italian Communists are a tired cliché.
Europeans should realize that their voice in world affairs is far less significant than they assume, and that their opinions are hopelessly dated and immaterial. They have not been able to control events since they lost their empires, and given the quisling postures of their politicians and the arrogance of their intellectuals, it is no surprise that the only importance Europe has in world affairs is inversely proportionate to their reliance on America for their collective security and prosperity.
Many European politicians should be considered dangerous and discouraged from travel or public speaking. One rather wishes that the European public would understand how ill they are served by their party hacks.
Luisa Morgantini has called for the agreement under which Israel currently enjoys free trade in industrial goods, and preferential treatment of farm produce entering the European Union to be suspended.
[Info source: http://electronicintifada.net/v2/article8974.shtml]
Luisa Morgantini is a Member of the European Parliament. She has been a member of the Italian Communist Party since the early sixties.
Not surprisingly, she is also associated with Women In Black, having been one of the founders of the Italian branch of the Women in Black organization.
[I wrote about the Women in Black here:
http://atthebackofthehill.blogspot.com/2007/04/women-in-black-some-more-background.html]
MARXIST-LENINIST WHACK-JOB
Like others among the Euro-sinister, Luisa Morgantini demands that the UN send peacekeeping troops to Gaza and the West Bank to protect Palestinians after they have committed atrocities.
And, again like many, she believes that she has a natural right to opinionate on issues which do not concern her, and which her leaders, her colleagues, and her kind have done much to make worse since 1948.
Most telling is this quote: "Any negotiations on an overall peace agreement should be based on the relevant UN Security Council resolutions and the certainty of a Palestinian State alongside the State of Israel with Jerusalem as a shared capital."
Sweetheart, a Palestinian state is by no means a certainty and arguably not desirable in the first place, Jerusalem is indivisible, the UN is a forum for third-world gangster regimes and has accomplished nothing since the fifties, and, just so you know, Italian Communists are a tired cliché.
Europeans should realize that their voice in world affairs is far less significant than they assume, and that their opinions are hopelessly dated and immaterial. They have not been able to control events since they lost their empires, and given the quisling postures of their politicians and the arrogance of their intellectuals, it is no surprise that the only importance Europe has in world affairs is inversely proportionate to their reliance on America for their collective security and prosperity.
Many European politicians should be considered dangerous and discouraged from travel or public speaking. One rather wishes that the European public would understand how ill they are served by their party hacks.
FRUSTRATION MOUNTS IN GAZA
The suffering in Gaza continues to get worse, as Arabs gain experience with self-rule.
Quote:
"The price of cigarettes has soared in the last few months. Why? Because Hamas decided that cigarette taxes would be an excellent source of income for Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh's government."
[Source: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3445001,00.html]
Have they NO sympathy for the man in the street?
What will Abu Hackitylung do for relaxation now? He can't go the cinema (un-Islamic), he can't listen to his tapes of Umm Kaltoum wailing about the suffering of the poor repressed Arabs (hopelessly irrelevant since the great Spring victory - everybody is eating strawberries and singing songs in praise of the great leader), and he cannot even pray in public anymore (per the BBC, public prayer in Gaza is considered counter-revolutionary http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6978540.stm ).
And he already gave up liquor for lent. Or something.
Now "they" are interfering with the one thing he likes doing more than shooting off fireworks.
It's a crying shame, is what it is.
I really blame the smoking Nazis. It was only a matter of time before that bunch imposed their evil agenda on the newly liberated territory.
The world must demand that the rights of the smokers of Gaza are not further trampled by the liberal commie mamzers who wish to regulate tobacco.
Break the blockade - Camels for Gaza now!
Quote:
"The price of cigarettes has soared in the last few months. Why? Because Hamas decided that cigarette taxes would be an excellent source of income for Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh's government."
[Source: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3445001,00.html]
Have they NO sympathy for the man in the street?
What will Abu Hackitylung do for relaxation now? He can't go the cinema (un-Islamic), he can't listen to his tapes of Umm Kaltoum wailing about the suffering of the poor repressed Arabs (hopelessly irrelevant since the great Spring victory - everybody is eating strawberries and singing songs in praise of the great leader), and he cannot even pray in public anymore (per the BBC, public prayer in Gaza is considered counter-revolutionary http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6978540.stm ).
And he already gave up liquor for lent. Or something.
Now "they" are interfering with the one thing he likes doing more than shooting off fireworks.
It's a crying shame, is what it is.
I really blame the smoking Nazis. It was only a matter of time before that bunch imposed their evil agenda on the newly liberated territory.
The world must demand that the rights of the smokers of Gaza are not further trampled by the liberal commie mamzers who wish to regulate tobacco.
Break the blockade - Camels for Gaza now!
Monday, September 03, 2007
ROCKET VIDEO - GET YOUR DANDER UP
I just came from Jameel's site, where I saw a video that is making me shake.
Here's the link:
http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/schooltime-in-sderot.html
You have to see this.
Despite all the high-flown language from the various groups working on behalf of the Palestinians, this video shows who is one the right side, and why the pro-Palestine side is comprised of morally bankrupt people.
You can also view the video here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/09/schooltime-in-sderot.html
It has been cross-posted.
The video shows what happens when a rocket fired from Gaza (by whichever group is either boasting about it or claiming plausible deniability at the time) is about to land at a school in Sderot.
Bluntly put: Palestinian militants target children.
These are the same Palestinian militants that so many Europeans and Berkeleyites idolize. These are the same Palestinian militants that former president Jimmy Carter says we should talk to. These are the same Palestinian militants that Dutch and Scandinavian politicians have met with on fact-finding junkets, and praised as reasonable people.
These are the same Palestinian militants who used to send bomb-vest wearing teenagers into Israel to commit mayhem in a public place. Now, no longer able to send their suicide-bombers into Israel because of the security barrier, they send their rockets into Israel to kill civilians.
The material for the rockets is smuggled in by the Egyptians and paid for by the Saudis. The expertise and know-how comes from the Iranians. The approval and applause comes from Europe and Berkeley. All over the world, spokesmen for worthy causes commit apologesis about these acts. All over the world, right-thinking people are outraged over Israel's firm defense of her people. The UN standardly demands that Israel acquiesce to demands from the Arab side.
There is a constant international barrage aimed at Israel.
But little, if anything at all, about Qassam rockets.
Tell me again, WHY do we HAVE to listen to the international community?
I think I must be missing something. I'd love to hear your explanation.
Here's the link:
http://muqata.blogspot.com/2007/09/schooltime-in-sderot.html
You have to see this.
Despite all the high-flown language from the various groups working on behalf of the Palestinians, this video shows who is one the right side, and why the pro-Palestine side is comprised of morally bankrupt people.
You can also view the video here:
http://dovbear.blogspot.com/2007/09/schooltime-in-sderot.html
It has been cross-posted.
The video shows what happens when a rocket fired from Gaza (by whichever group is either boasting about it or claiming plausible deniability at the time) is about to land at a school in Sderot.
Bluntly put: Palestinian militants target children.
These are the same Palestinian militants that so many Europeans and Berkeleyites idolize. These are the same Palestinian militants that former president Jimmy Carter says we should talk to. These are the same Palestinian militants that Dutch and Scandinavian politicians have met with on fact-finding junkets, and praised as reasonable people.
These are the same Palestinian militants who used to send bomb-vest wearing teenagers into Israel to commit mayhem in a public place. Now, no longer able to send their suicide-bombers into Israel because of the security barrier, they send their rockets into Israel to kill civilians.
The material for the rockets is smuggled in by the Egyptians and paid for by the Saudis. The expertise and know-how comes from the Iranians. The approval and applause comes from Europe and Berkeley. All over the world, spokesmen for worthy causes commit apologesis about these acts. All over the world, right-thinking people are outraged over Israel's firm defense of her people. The UN standardly demands that Israel acquiesce to demands from the Arab side.
There is a constant international barrage aimed at Israel.
But little, if anything at all, about Qassam rockets.
Tell me again, WHY do we HAVE to listen to the international community?
I think I must be missing something. I'd love to hear your explanation.
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GRITS AND TOFU
Like most Americans, I have a list of people who should be peacefully retired from public service and thereafter kept away from their desks,...
