LOTS OF GARLICKY GOODNESS

A friend forwarded a news clip about a restaurant worker on the East Coast crushing garlic with his feet. A huge bin of garlic. Sneaker-clad feet. In the parking lot behind the restaurant.
[http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/09/12/solis.stomping.garlic.wabc.wabc]


Well, that IS efficient.

Kudos for inventivity.

Feeding the masses requires strange things.

Like gloves.

I just love those rubber gloves they make food-service employees wear nowadays – pick up the dustpan with the rubber gloves, pick up dirty plates, cutlery and leftovers with the rubber gloves, pick up the sodden rag for wiping counters, implements, and work-surfaces with the rubber gloves..... see, the only things NOT contaminated will be the hands in the rubber gloves.

Those hands remain pristine.

And who doesn't want to be served by a wait-person with pristine hands?

========================

PERSPECTIVE: FOOD IN EUROPE

Lest any of my European readers now wish to sneer about American restaurants, I would remind them of an inquiry a few years ago into Shawerma places in the Netherlands. It appears that most of the owners and staff of those popular Middle-Eastern grill rooms and late-night snacketarias will not and can not eat the meat they serve. For two reasons: firstly, whatever the heck they call it on the menu, it's pork; and secondly, most of it is rotten.

Here are some good links for miserable Shawerma in the Netherlands:

http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1206825
Smerigste’ shoarma blijft populair bij stappers met trek ('Nastiest shawerma remains popular with hungry drinkers').

http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205087
AD: broodje shoarma ook in Delft niet best ('Shawerma sandwich in Delft also not up to snuff').

http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1205065
Broodje shoarma op eigen risico ('Shawerma sandwich at your own risk').

http://www.ad.nl/archive/?service=archive&articleID=1204997
Kwaliteit shoarma bedroevend ('Quality of shawerma is tragic').



The most detailed article was in the Algemeen Dagblad, entitled: SHOARMA: BROODJE BEDORVEN BEDROG (Shawerma: Bun of Spoiled Dishonesty).
The writer was Paul Hovius. It was published in late summer 2002

It no longer appears to be available on the internet, so, for those of you who are curious, here are some quotes.

"Maar de liefhebber is gewaarschuwd. Over de duistere wereld van vieze ondernemers, bedorven vlees en lam dat geen lam is."
['But the afficionada has been warned. About the dark world of unclean proprietors, spoiled meat and lamb that is no lamb'.]

"Uit een onderzoek van het Algemeen Dagblad naar de kwaliteit van shoarma blijkt dat er bij de verkoop van deze hartige hap op een werkelijk ongelooflijke manier wordt gerotzooid en geklungeld. "
['From investigation by the Algemeen Dagblad into the quality of shawerma it is evident that there are unbelievably dirty practises and perversions associated with the vending of this tasty dish'.]

"Alles wat God, Allah en de Nederlandse wetgever gezamenlijk hebben verboden, kom je in de praktijk wel een paar keer tegen."
['Everything which God, Allah, and the Dutch lawmakers collectively have forbidden, you will encounter a number of times in the real world']

"...in de dagelijkse praktijk is het bij de meeste verkooppunten van shoarma een doffe ellende."
['In daily experience, it is a deeply miserable situation at most sales-locations for shawerma']

"Hygiëne lijkt een onbekend begrip."
['Hygiene seems an unknown concept']

"Het is eerder regel dan uitzondering dat vlees ongekoeld op weg is naar verrotting. Er wordt gespot met de meest elementaire regels die bij het bereiden van levensmiddelen in acht dienen te worden genomen. "
['It is more often the rule than the exception that meat is unrefrigeratedly on the road to rottenness. The most elementary rules of food-service are sneered at.']

"... maar liefst 9 van de 58 keer kreeg het panel shoarma voorgeschoteld die ,,niet meer geschikt was voor menselijke consumptie.'' Het vlees was in die gevallen volledig bedorven."
['At least nine out of fifty-eight times the panel was served shawerma which "was no longer suitable for human consumption." The meat in those incidents was entirely spoiled.']

"De lamshoarma stinkt en is oneetbaar. Volgens de eigenaar is er niets mis mee. ,,U weet niet hoe lamshoarma smaakt. Heeft u het wel eens eerder gegeten? Het behoort zo te ruiken. Dat zijn onze kruiden.''"
['The lamb shawerma stinks and is inedible. According to the owner, there is nothing wrong with it. "You do not know what it tastes like. Have you ever eaten it before? It is supposed to smell like that; those are our spices".']

"De eigenaar weigert overigens zeer resoluut de proef op de som te nemen.
Met een beroep op zijn geloof, vertikt hij het om van zijn eigen lamshoarma te eten. Waarom wordt duidelijk als de uitslag van het laboratorium binnen is."
['The owner nevertheless resolutely refuses to try it himself. Falling back on his religion, he firmly refuses to eat his own lamb shawerma. Why becomes clear once the results come back from the laboratory.']


The Algemeen Dagblad also researched other branches of the food-service sector. Shawerma parlours were be no means the worst offenders; half the herring places in the Netherlands did not meet reasonable standards, most cups of commercial coffee were pretty darn horrid, and many meat markets hadn't a clue about hygiene, butchery, or even basic quality. So, if you go to Holland, eat in Belgium.
[The Netherlands lags considerably behind Belgium, both as far as food safety is concerned, and particularly as regards food quality and cooking-skills.]


Since then, other news articles have dwelt lovingly on the incidence of food-poisoning in Spain, Portugal, France, North Africa, and Greece. Germany and Turkey got high marks for safety and cleanliness, as did Israel and Thailand.


English food, even fast-food, was described as mostly safe but largely inedible. Thick slices of Spam, battered and deep-fried, with soggy chips. Boiling fat and burning starch. Beans in a can. Or curried gristle served by Bengalis who were never even once visited by the culinary-inspiration fairy.