THE BLENDER

Shnoo' and I were having a conversation in the kitchen, and out of the corner of our eyes following the actions of one of our co-workers. With some wonderment and worry.

And this, by the way, will show why you should never borrow a blender. You don't know what has been in it. It just ain't a kosher vessel.


Yellow vanilla flavoured soy milk. A very large banana. Two pills that could not be identified. A large scoop of something that looked like wood shavings. A smaller scoop of something that may have been kosher-le-peysach potato starch. Gravel of vegetable origin (we think). Some dark green liquid from a bottle. Water.

The whole at high-speed till frothy. Resulting in enough for two or three generous servings of...... whatever that stuff was. Paperhanger's paste. Spirulina soup. Foamy ditch-skimmings. Glob-drippy grey-green muck-sludge.

This is lunch?

Urrk.


But on the other hand, who am I to judge? I myself have blessed a blender.
Five years ago I had three rotten molars janked, and had to stay off solids for a week while my jaws healed. Liquids only. Not too difficult, right?

First day: Beaten yoghurt. More yoghurt. And some yoghurt after that.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]

Second day: Beaten yoghurt. Fruity yoghurt. More fruity yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]

Third day: Beaten fruity yoghurt. And some plain yoghurt.
[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]

Fourth day: I'm sick and tired of yoghurt, I've got dairy sludge coming out of my ears, this crap is BORING, and kinda disgusting to boot. What buncha degenerates invented this?!?!?!!!! Sweet cheeses I'm tired of this bloody buggery ghastly slimy white goo!!
I... NEED... GRUB!


Right at that point, I may have lost it.
Savage Kitten says she looked on as I put a can of chicken broth, teaspoon Thai red curry paste, teaspoon sugar, half an avocado, two tablespoons of peanut butter (crunchy), two whole jalapeños, and several strips of crispy fried bacon and some of the hot grease from the fry-pan into the blender. With a half a bottle of hot-sauce.
Vrrroooommm.
I was hysterically weeping as I drank it down.
Best darn smoothie ever.
Oh man.


[Plus some whiskey later in the evening.]


So, I really should not look askance at my coworker having a banana for lunch.
That's probably normal where he comes from.