Friday, December 16, 2016

A SOLID METER OF GOODNESS!

Barbershop fries ('frietje kapsalon') are French fries topped with grilled meat, melted cheese, and chopped dressed salad materials, served with garlic sauce and sambal. This mess on a plate was invented over a decade ago by a hair dresser who would regularly call his local fry-bar and tell them to just dump it all together, he was in hurry, and he'd be by to pick it up as soon as he finished cutting the head he was working on.

You can also add mayo.

No, don't look so snooty. It's basically very similar to a cheese steak with fries and a side salad. If fastfooderies in the city of brotherly love actually served salad. It's precisely what you need on a cold night, or after an evening jog.

Hot French fries. Grilled savoury meat sliced thin. Melted cheese. Lettuce, tomato, cucumber. Meat juices. Garlic sauce. Mayonnaise. Chili-paste.

As Eddy Couwenberg of Snackbar Kwalitaria in Breda probably believes, it's the breakfast of champions. Or it should be. He suggests you start your morning with an entire meter of it.

All hot and delicious.







The caption on the Facebook entry which shows the two servings side by side is "je kan de week natuurlijk ook beginning met een metertje kapsalon" (naturally you could also start the week with a meter of 'kapsalon').
Monday breakfast, just before you go in to the office.
It will make your next seven days beautiful.

To me it looks totes delicious.

Sriracha-worthy.




Sriracha




Optional changes I might suggest: A thick drizzle of Portuguese sauce, one or two freshly fried rashers of apple wood smoked bacon, one or two slices of grilled pineapple (fresh OR canned), lots of sliced jalapeños en escabeche, a sploodge of hot satay sauce, and sliced avocado.
Perhaps even the mushroom cream sauce from Quiznos.

Heck, all of it. Added on top.



And a huge 16 ounce mug of steaming Hong Kong style milk-tea (港式奶茶 'gong sik naai-chaa') to keep you awake. Made strong, with lots of evaporated milk. But that's just a personal feeling.
Not, strictly speaking, Dutch.




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YOUR NEIGHBOR WEARS A TURBAN; NOW WHAT?

Yesterday evening someone showed me a dance video that was funny only because of the divergence between lyric and visual. Shan't mention it, as shallow minds all over the internet are bound to discover it any way.

But this morning I found something fascinating.
Well worth watching.


SWEET SHOVELING SARDARJIS!


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHhKMu8jrfw.]


Halifax looks like a mighty horrible place.

It's probably bearable in summer.

Likeable people, though.

Happy elves.




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Thursday, December 15, 2016

ISRAELI HARPY HICCOUGHS

This morning, before I left the house, I made a sneering comment about a columnist for a newspaper in Israel on Facebook. This evening, when I returned, I discovered that some poor Israeli dingbat thinks I am a horrid person who deserves to die. Because I do not worship that columnist.

Oh dear. Under-medicated much?

Frankly, I've been sneering about that columnist for over half a dozen years, and consider any newsprint slated for those columns, by that always pissy propaganda hack, far worse than low-grade bumwad.

No, shan't mention who the columnist is.

The columnist, and the newspaper in question, are not really important.
Far less important than some raving hysteric in Israel thinks they are.


The Israeli press is rather like the American press. Full of it, and often wrong. Usually staggeringly so.


In the world today it behooves the person who wishes to be informed to read much, and take much with a grain of salt. The open mind that is not capable of sifting sludge for nuggets soon becomes a sewer.

As, indeed, that Israeli dingbat proves.

I wish her luck flushing.

Her head.




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WINE-SOTTED AND HAPPY

Not even fully grown, and already showing alcoholic tendencies! How sad!
The elegant little black kitty ignored what I had thought (but did not say out loud), and continued lapping at the sacrificial wine.
The deity for whom it was intended did not strike her down.

It was near the doorway of a shop in Chinatown, where an earthgod altar faced the street and protected the premises. The winecup was being rapidly exhausted by the resident feline.

The pussycat paid me less mind than I paid it.

It's identical sibling lives next door.

They nuzzle on the sidewalk.

One of them drinks.


Both felines seem confident and well-fed. Which holds for all the cats in Chinatown, except for the guard-beast of a vegetable shop; it is well-fed, but it distrusts creatures bigger than a cabbage, and white.
It has always looked at me with a careful air.

From which you can deduce that I am larger than a cabbage.

And white.



I am assuming that all the cats are female. Which may be wrong, but femininity seems a feline characteristic.

I like cats.




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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I AM A MAN AND I EAT

Sometimes I look at my blog statistics, which tell me much about who is reading this blog, and why. And this week it tells me that my audience consists largely of the food-obsessed and the perverted.
That is not an accurate reflection of me, however.
Yes, I am quite food-obsessed.
But not perverse.

At least I don't think so.


Most visited posts this week, from greatest number of viewers to least:


DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRENCH CUT AND HIGH CUT
Nov 19, 2012

HAM SAP LO - THE CANTONESE PERVERT
Apr 27, 2011

CANTONESE ROAST GOOSE
Dec 26, 2012

I ATTACK, FOLLOW ME
Dec 9, 2016

WOMEN PIPE SMOKERS
Dec 16, 2012

DIM SUM: KINDS, NAMES, PRONUNCIAT​ION, DESCRIPTIO​N
Mar 28, 2012

BRIEF INTROSPECTIVE FLICKER
Dec 11, 2016

BEST RICE PORRIDGE IN SAN FRANCISCO
Dec 1, 2012

MACKEREL IS NOT HERRING
Aug 19, 2010

WE MUST PLAN A HECATOMB!
Dec 11, 2016


The essay shown at the top is part of a category I like to think of as 'pervert taunting', written largely for the discomfort of gentlemen in the Persian Gulf and Pakistan who are lonesome and rather disgusting. They surf the web late at night looking for pictures that can get through the smut filters their nations have imposed. Indeed, some of them are actually in Russia -- lord only knows what they were looking for -- and a number live in basements in America's urban conglomerata, kindly subsidized by their mothers.
Like their brethren in the Gulf, they are repellent.

There are no sexual images here.
Sorry to disappoint.
Not.


I am fairly certain the neurotic mobility-impaired Jewish lesbian cat-lover no longer reads my blog, and that is rather pleasing. She was a horrid woman, with whom it is good to not associate anymore.
And she lacked a sense of humour.


Half of the posts in the list above are about food. The people who find these essays are probably folks I would not mind meeting.

They are both more numerous than free-range filthy-minded individuals, and more diverse, but on the whole harder to find because they exhibit their tendencies less.


Women pipe smokers (fifth link down) are probably the rarest category. And the hardest to characterize. Most pipe smokers are male, and I am hard put to understand why this is so. There is no real difference in tastes and oral fixations between the genders which would come into play that I am aware of, nor do hormones have any bearing on tobacco enjoyment.

Pipe smoking is a better fit for detail-oriented people.
Many women are extremely detail-oriented.
More than most men.



Food searches, by the way, bring in the most viewers, far more than any other category. And nobody comes here for kitten pictures.







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SINGING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL

Shaloub, Kavita, and Dah-veed were there as an off-site, building team and trust among the employees of the company. And singing was a regrettable part of that. But what to sing? Few of their colleagues were gifted.

The bookseller and myself were there as the fair and uninvolved witnesses, sitting in benign though apathetic judgment over their efforts.
We were melodically uninvolved.

Someone asked me what I would sing, if I were them.

Bad move.

The only song I could remember, thanks to the evil influence of a fellow Dutch American pipe-smoker all the way across country ("M") was The Mayor of Bayswater.

It is quite unsuitable for little children.
Or ladies of refinement.


ONE BLACK ONE WHITE ONE ...


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDKhcCwCHi0.]

The world is manifestly a better place because that song is not in the karaoke book.

Given that the chorus is both memorable and simple, it is very suitable as a singalong, but the employees of whatever that company is would, in their mid-twenties high-tech nerdling innocence, have been scarred for life.
And who wants that?


They ended up singing John Denver's 'Country Road'.
Innocent little wussies.




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Tuesday, December 13, 2016

I AM NOT DEAD YET!

What did I find in my mailbox today? Well, in the run up to the election it was all kinds of unreadable, and usually there are flyers and coupons from local stores.

Today it was an envelope from a mortuary society, cheerily stating on the outside under the return address that they were "celebrating life".

I have not opened it yet, but I can already imagine what I will find.


"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Atboth,

Have you or a loved one considered dying? We can help!"


And I'm sure they can. And they are banking on everybody in the Atboth Family, to which they addressed their kindly missive, to know at least one person near death, as I'm sure I do.

There is no "Mrs. Atboth", by the way. They could have and should have addressed it NOT to "The Atboth Family", but to "The Lonesome and Forlorn Single Man Atboth", or "The Grouchy Old Bastard Atboth", or even "The Defiantly Ageless and Still Vibrantly Young & Very Feisty Mr. Atboth". Who presently has no intention of satisfying their optimistic holiday season's expectation of croaking.

Multi-facetted Mr. Atboth does not plan to die.


Honestly, what the deuce does that mortuary society expect from me?
Do they wish me to feel sickly now, and a wee bit worried about whether or not I am properly pickled and plasticized, if and when?
I should commit to a tasteful headstone?
Somber typeface, all caps?



Sorry, I am not sufficiently 'Goth' to actually do so.
But thanks for inquiring about my health.
It is still robust and vibrant.
I am not dead yet.




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LEAVING A GOAT TACO IN A HOT CAR ALL DAY

You know what would be nice? Really nice? If we could wake up one morning and find out Donald Trump didn't do something shitty and stupid in the last twenty four hours. And that the Republican Party had been quiet, and just gone around masturbating themselves and not opening their goldarned mouths in that same time period.

Yeah, that would be really nice.

Yesterday someone plaintively whined "just give the guy a chance".
Which, if you think about it, is exactly what's wrong with president-elect Donald Trump and his supporters. A man who was born with a golden spoon up his ass just needs to be given a chance.

We watched him act like a dickwad for over ten years on reality teevee, heard him be a complete asswipe for the last year and a half, and now we have to give that rancid baboon a chance.

It defies belief.



Who is going to crack first? The Chinese government, which owns over one trillion of our debt; the Russians, who own the Republican Party; or Deutsche Bank, which owns Donald Trump?



The only halfway good thing about a  Kellyanne Conway  Donald Trump presidency is that he's surrounded himself with so many military men and raving loonies that a coup d'etat would be invisible.

Until they start eating each other.



NOTE: The startling imagery of the title about a goat taco smelling funky was borrowed from a friend who worked-out till drenched, and then discovered that the hot water heater was on the fritz.
Yep. Smelling a lot like Christmas.




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Monday, December 12, 2016

NEW YULE TRADITION

In all honesty I must confess that I hate festive music. Most particularly Christmas music, which is nauseating and loathsome, and can only appeal to simple minded souls. So you can imagine my delight when, mixed in with the sappy appropriate music for the season being played for my displeasure on a satelite radio station, I heard Halleluiah by Leonard Cohen. Okay. Bathsheba is the new Christmas fairy. Cool.
I can dig it.

It's about royal sex, daddy-o.

In keeping with the wealth of sparkly ideas to which that opens doors, I should like to propose a new Christmas theatrical number to entertain children of all ages: The Amours of Henry the Eighth - on ice.

Why, it will be huge, it will enormous, it will be an extra vaganza!

Kiddie-winkies will come back from the show singing!

With better knowledge of history!

Parents too.


Instead of yet another apathetic performance of The Nutcracker, go see Henry VIII. Make Christmas different this year.

Take the family.




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UNDERWEAR AND JUNKFOOD

One search criterion wins the internet! Today, someone found my site by asking "is it wrong to want to watch women eating burgers wearing panties?" No, my stats don't tell me which post they found, and I cannot even hazard a guess. But let me answer that question.

'Men wearing panties should NOT watch women eating burgers!'

Let us assume that women, however, may do so. Please imagine a summer morning at a sorority in Berkeley, where some of the sisters are celebrating the hot season by going out onto the patio and grilling up some burgers for breakfast. Possibly with bacon. The vegetarians among them can only watch, as the barbecue rack is now covered in meat juices, and in order for them to enjoy a delicious tofu burger they will have to fry it up in the secret skillet they keep hidden from the carnivores.

Or they could scrape and hack away at the metal to remove all traces of animal protein, but alas, they are unsuitably dressed for such a messy endeavor! I did mention the seasonal heat, did I not?

For them, watching other women eating burgers while in their nether garments may be the only option. It is very sad.


Personally, I would not want a tofu burger.


You're welcome; glad I could help.



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Sunday, December 11, 2016

WE MUST PLAN A HECATOMB!

It seems like just yesterday when I was considered a Trotskyite race-hating homosexual, neurotic, heathen, liberal, Jesuitical, a neo-nazi, a communist, a very well-trained Christian critic of the Talmud, as well as a savage Christian-hating Jew.
I am surprised at how much I have grown since then.
In the eyes of some, I am now a "Libtard'.
Believe me, it's an improvement.
Presently just one word.
Simplicity!


What, I hear you asking, is all this about?


Einfach. I have decided that conversations with a great many people are a waste of time, as I do not respect their opinions, I recognize that trying to educate them so that they are less brutally stupid is an uphill slog, and I am quite uninterested in what they think, or if they ever will.

I am not a very social person.
It's one of my strengths.



I am in favour of gluten, vaccines, and meat. Preferably huge piles of all three. With the first (sourdough) accompanying a vast variety of the last.
Let us slaughter and feast upon the cows, the porcines, and the little baby lambs. Especially the lambs. Roast choplettes, ribs, loins, and rissoles. With garlic. And spices. And curry paste. And bacon. And herbes de Provence, olive oil rub, zatar, baby potatoes, and Sriracha Sauce.

Then let us sink back upon our couches replete, discretely belching, with grease-stained lips and napkins, and discuss the non-existence of Jesus, enforced literacy, plus obligatory intelligence briefings, free abortion on demand, and why Christians and climate-change deniers should be denied safe spaces and a life-everlasting if there even is such a thing.
Vegans, yoga-pants wearers, and gluten-phobics too.
Anti-vaccine dingoes especially.

The road to hell is paved with "well-meaning" people.
Entitled, vocal, and sincerely stupid.
Plus their opinions.



Please share what you think of this in the comments.




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BRIEF INTROSPECTIVE FLICKER

Six and a half years later I sometimes look at my ex girlfriend, and think to myself that she is a wonderful woman, and I wonder how things went wrong. The explanation is almost certainly that I am less wonderful.

Rather a pity, that.


If both of us had been a little less Asperger-y, we might have had children.


I'll just leave that thought right there.




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Saturday, December 10, 2016

IT STICKS OUT AT A JAUNTY ANGLE!

All over San Francisco today crowds of people dressed like Santa roved around, having congress with each other, lamp posts, and run-away housepets. They did this because they craved the attention they did not get at home, baby it's cold outside, and Santa Con. There were also fratboys getting into the spirit by wearing Santa or Elf hats, and either normal autumn gear or nothing at all.

As was to be expected I bailed out of the city early, and left the civilians to their own devices. Yes, conceivably cans of Raid were used, and umbrellas wielded, to keep the frenzied crowd of at bay.

A festive time was had by all.

Bah, humbug.


Marin is actually kind of beautiful in the rain.

Long lines of traffic moving at a gravid pace, sheets coming down, grey fog over the hills behind Mill Valley, and only the rare stumbling drunk. Perfect weather for pipe-smoking indoors, while the world swirls slowly around the building. I had four bowls-full. With buckets of tea. While ignoring the cigar smokers, one of whom looks like an evil elf. There are also the foul-mouthed bad-tempered leprechaun, and the sexually deviant gnome (I'm just assuming his peculiarity, he just seems a ripe degenerate).

I am, as you expect, presently at home in the television room. There are sounds of revelry outside; the festivities are barely started, there is still an entire night of drunken outrage ahead. I passed two naked people and someone with red body paint and a gold Lamé bikini on the way in.

Polk Street is a venue for intemperate carryings-on.


[IMAGE SOURCE: G. L. Pease.]


I think in a short while I shall head out to a nice quiet cigar bar to enjoy a bowl or two and a glass of whiskey. Two bulldog pipes and a pouch of aged Virginia leaves.

Very sporty briars, though restrained and old-fashioned.
A thoughtful tobacco blend for civilized people.
One or two of whom might be present.


Unfortunately they don't know jack from tea there. Stale coffee, yes, and I have become quite the connoisseur of that beverage. But not a teapot on site. Which is not right; I'll have to speak to them about that.




TOBACCO INDEX


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Friday, December 09, 2016

I ATTACK, FOLLOW ME

Geert Wilders was recently in the news because of a legal case against him. And, having been found guilty of hate-speech, he naturally took the opportunity to bluster and spew.

It is regrettable that many English speakers, who claim to be educated, and should know better, consider that man to be a hero and the greatest Dutchman ever.

I would instead offer that a nation which has produced so many great artists may easily be seen as a source of greatness far greater than a petty pompadoured loudmouthed dishrag.

Even if, for most people outside the country, the literature and history of the Netherlands remain unintelligible.


There are innumerable Dutchmen who have far greater claim to accolade.


Here are a few examples.


HUGO DE GROOT (GROTIUS)

One of the founders of international law, philosopher, jurist, and religious dissident. Unquestionably one of the greatest Europeans of his time.
1583 -1645.


JOHAN DE WITT

Leader of the Republic at a time when the very idea of national survival seemed a hopeless fantasy, Johan De Witt was the paradigm of statesmen. Without Jan De Witt, there would be no Netherlands.
He was murdered with his brother Cornelis by the Orangist mob.
1625 -1672.


CHRISTIAAN HUYGENS & CONSTANTIJN HUYGENS

Scientists, statesmen, philosophers, and literary men.
Giants of their age.
1629 - 1695; 1628 - 1697.


ADMIRAL MICHIEL DE RUYTER

Without a doubt the young nation's most valuable asset, at a time when it seemed like the entire world was out to destroy the Netherlands. The time period was the Dutch Golden Age, when, largely due to the brilliance of her commanders and statesmen, the Republic survived French, Spanish, and English enmity.
Dutch endurance and success may be taken for granted now, but it wasn't then. And had they failed, the Western World would be a different place, likely far less democratic, almost certainly less tolerant, and most assuredly more divided by religious animosity.
1607 - 1676.


JOHAN RUDOLPH THORBECKE

Pretty much the guiding light of constitutional monarchism and a giant of modern parliamentary democracy.
1798 - 1892.


ADMIRAL KAREL DOORMAN

Born to a military family in 1889, Karel Willem Frederik Marie Doorman was killed in action leading the last stand of the Dutch Navy against Japanese forces on February 28, 1942. He and his men were well aware of the naval superiority of the enemy, and knew that their orders were a futile attempt by the allies to stop the Japanese advance. Despite the certainty of death they sailed into action. Doorman and his flagship HNLMS De Ruyter went down during the Battle of the Java Sea.

The title of this post comes from a popular misquote ("ik val aan, volg mij") of an order to the ships in the fleet.
1889 - 1942.



A more than cursory overview of Dutch history during the past five centuries will show that there are many more candidates for 'greatest Dutchman' than Geert Wilders, and, indeed, many far greater ones in every category; he does not even rank, and once he has mercifully passed-on or been expunged, he will be forgotten.

Though he does compare with Anton Adriaan Mussert.
To name just one of his philosophical equals.
1894 - 1946.




NAWOORD

Zoals ik eens lang geleden hier schreef kan het mij geen moer schelen wat de gemiddelde Engels-talige hufter over Wilders denkt, dan wel te denken heeft over Nederland.
Indien u dit niet lezen kunt is het mischien een persoonlijke faling.



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HANGING WITH THE DISREPUTABLES

Tomorrow morning my mouth will feel like something crawled in and died a violent death. Yet that is not what I intended. I was calm, I was subdued, and I was modest in my appetites. One pipe in the morning, plain Virginia. It went south from there. We rearranged some of the tobaccos, I opened up a sample tin of something called "Danish Black Vanilla", and because at times I am a disgusting pervert, I loaded up a bowl. In a Dunhill.
Guinea grain or whatever they call that.
Mmm, flavour country!

[Normally I abstain from and abjure the aromatics, as they are a horrid character flaw on the pipe-smoking body, a repulsive sin the like of which causes regretful episodes.]


Didn't smoke another bowl till teatime. The Dunhill Dark Flake has come in. I had to try it. It's somewhat monochromatic, but good stuff.
Then, because it was pipe club night, I smoked three more bowls (two of the Dunhill Dark Flake, one of something who knows what) between then and now, the last two at the cigar bar, one of them after Tom the salesrep wandered in. He's really a very patient man.

[Three glasses of stale coffee with an icecube. Curtis looks at me like I took leave of my senses. He laments my excruciating choice of beverage. He always had doubts.]


It is now after one thirty in the morning. I feel like maybe I should fill a bowl full of Rattray's Dark Fragrant to finish the day. But only because the tin is within arms reach, and I am just a wee bit misguided.

I really shouldn't.

tempting tin.

Evil.





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Thursday, December 08, 2016

NO ONE IS LONESOME NEAR ROAST MEATS

Yesterday evening I ate tofu and roast pork with gravy over rice. It was at a place (港新寶燒腊小食) my ex-girlfriend liked, which for a while after the break-up I avoided, because of "connotations". I have, for petty reasons which I do not see a need to share overcome the connotations.

It was very good. Naturally it is something that you could do at home (豆腐燒肉飯), and would much more likely get at a chachanteng (such as the one mentioned in the linked post above), but, ideally, you should go directly to the source: a roast meats eatery (燒味店 'siu mei dim').

Fourteen other customers in the place, one dozen of whom were dining together behind me.

I'm always amazed at the ability of many Cantonese people to quickly and spontaneously organize a group raid on good food. When I was still working down the Peninsula, it was like herding kittens to get just two or three other people together for a food run, and twenty of us eating together took three weeks of planning and scheduling. Three extremely frustrating weeks.
I know, because I was the one doing the planning.
And scheduling. And cajoling.

I don't think most Anglos are social eaters.

Certainly only very few of the ones I know. I am Anglo, in a manner of speaking, and other than a slice of mediocre pizza with an old friend once a week I haven't gone out eating with other people very much in years.


I no longer feel alone when eating by myself. That's just the way it is, and I've gotten used to it. And, in truth, I am not alone, there are people all around me who also have come to whichever place it is expressly for the food.
Happy folks, hubbubbing and discussabilating con brio.

It struck me yesterday evening that I could understand what everyone there said with the exception of the ornery Filipino ordering food to go.
That, of course, was not his problem.
He truly was eating alone.



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Wednesday, December 07, 2016

FEEDING THE RARE CRESTED COOT

There are two dishes that say "comfort food" to the male Dutch American middle-aged pipe-smoking bachelor like nothing else. And by "male Dutch American middle-aged pipe-smoking bachelor" is meant a specific subset; an ethnic minority of monumentally small proportion, dammit we need protected status, AND we're a work of art.

The problem is that, like male spiders, the male Dutch American middle-aged pipe-smoking bachelor has risky and even suicidal tendencies.
My grandfather got married in his fifties after heading to France as a pilot during World War One. He died over eighty years ago. My own father joined up with the Royal Canadian Airforce and spent nearly three years bombing Europe during World War Two, got married in his early thirties, moved to Holland and promptly passed away forty years later.

So you see. There are limitations on the tribe.

Marriage and military aircraft.

One of those two.


HOT AND SOOTHING SCRUMPTY!

Anyhow, the two dishes are Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice (焗葡國雞飯 'guk pou-gwok gai faan') and Penang-style Hokkien Mee (檳城福建蝦麵 'ban-seng fuk-gin haa min').


加葡汁!

Alas, the last time I ate Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice it was utterly disappointing. Ideally it consists of egg-fried rice topped with chicken and potato chunks, optionally with an inclusion of either bellpepper or perhaps jalapeño, doused in Portuguese sauce (a mild coconut curry slurry), grated cheddar cheese and coconut shreds sprinkled over, and shoved under the broiler for ten minutes to brown a bit on top and get hot all the way through.
Add salt and pepper to taste, and have some hot chilipaste on the side to zap up every other bite or so. Delicious.

One place in Chinatown which does Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice adds large chunks of onion plus canned mushrooms to the mix, which is horrible anathema, and another chachanteng seems to have recently replaced the mild coconut curry slurry with an entirely uninspired bland whitish starchy liquid ("white sauce"), which indicates that instead of a decent chef of Hong Kong provenance, they've hired a farmer.

It was that second version I had the last time.


I dare not go to the place where they probably still do an excellent version, because the last time I was there the waitress was mighty keen to introduce me to a single friend of hers, why the two of us would make a lovely couple, that woman would be ideal for me!

It's been about ten months.
I am still scared.

I do not think I am ideal. And I could just imagine the disappointment all around. It would have been excruciating for three people.

See, that's one of my 'talents'. I can provide enough excruciation for a plurality. It's quite remarkable.


蝦湯麵

The other dish is an intense noodle soup that utilizes a huge quantity of shrimp heads (蝦頭 'haa tau') for the broth, simmered for hours until deeply and passionately prawny.
It is strained, augmented with a dollop of garlicky chili paste and a little sugar, then dished up with thin noodles (I usually use typical Chinese egg noodles), fresh prawns, and a little vegetable matter for crunch and colour, plus cooked sliced lean pork, or short ribs (quite of course I use fatty pork instead). This marvelous concoction is NOT available in Chinatown; as the name ("Hokkien Mee" 福建麵 'fuk gin min') shows; it isn't Cantonese but Fujianese, specifically from Amoy (厦門 'haa mun', Xiamen), and most particularly the version made in Penang (檳榔嶼 'pan long yiu').

Chinatown folks are mostly Cantonese .....


"Prawn concentrate?!?"

"Cooked chilipaste?!?"

"Added to the soup?!?"

"How utterly FOREIGN, it sounds inedible!"


I cannot say that the Cantonese would be repulsed by it, but this just isn't a concept that they would naturally come up with, nor would conceive of as being a treat.

They've got their own comfort zone.

It's different.



AFTERWORD

Triggerwarning: a few sentences in this post may not be meant entirely at face value. If you cannot read with tongue at least partially in cheek, please come back some other time.

I realize I have to say this; some people are sensitive.



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THE SOUL-SHRINKING EFFECT OF ASSOCIATING WITH CIGAR SMOKERS

In my present engagement (second assistant steward in a cheroot fetichery, more or less) I am fairly constantly exposed to dingos and entitled people. Consequently I may come across in these blogposts as a sour old grumpus, quite unlike how you would imagine me if you took the profile description on the right hand side of this page seriously.

["Middle-aged, but younger looking than you. And hardly any arthritis. Really ..... "]


I fear that the only thing that might bring me back to my sunny self is the frequent presence of an alluring female half my age. Well, at least that will change people's impressions of my from "sour old grumpus" to "dirty old man" (with an arthritic leg), which would be altogether an improvement.

Certainly I think it would.
I may be biased.

I do not want my image of my fellow humans to be entirely dominated by ass-hat rightwingazoid cigar-chomping vulgarians.
I used to think better of mankind.


Eh, what, the cigar crowd?

Strong but very wrong opinions, bloviation, and approving citation of dark web fake news.


One of the bastards recently said that they were living in a bubble, what with being in the Bay Area, and consequently could not really grasp what the rest of the country felt.

He was right. But not quite in the way he thought.
He lives in a bubble of mental toxicity.
He's a despicable little man.
As are many of them.



Trust me, I am actually cheerful and devil-may-care when I'm not around them. Active, and keenly interested in the world. I've got books! I read!

It's not just the blasted cigar smokers, though.
There's also that Marin attitude.
That doesn't help.

It's like being around Sméagol.
All the damned time.




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LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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GRITS AND TOFU

Like most Americans, I have a list of people who should be peacefully retired from public service and thereafter kept away from their desks,...