THE OVERFLOW

When one of the entities that shares your living quarters is a turkey vulture, besides a magenta cat, a little orange beaver, a sheep of refined taste and sensibilities, and a stern teddy bear who keeps them all plus several others in line, you sometimes have to dodge the fates. Sydney Fylbert (the turkey vulture) knows that my feet ache. And he has a helpful suggestion. Turkey vultures in the wild release their bladders on the feet as a means of alleviating problems like heat, ticks, skin ailments, circulatory distress, and, to be sure, bladder overload.

I did not previously know that birds micturated.

He has offered to alleviate my pain.

I must dodge his mercies.


He has offered several times to pee on my feet, insisting that this will bring me great relief and solve all of my many problems. Foot-ache in nasty peds such as mine, he avers, causes psychological trauma, and that must be why I'm such a twisted mean old git. But a solution is at hand (foot), and if I would just stop scurrying around to avoid him, dammit, all of us will be so much happier! The other small roomies and he will no longer be subject to my sourness and bad temper! And I'll reward him with an all you can eat carrion buffet!

Eh, no, little fella. That's a very kind offer, but please do NOT pee on my feet. If absolutely necessary I can do that myself, or hire one of the neighborhood street people to do that for me. We are in a city with all the luxuries and amenities for civilized living, including a multitude of skeevy pee freely bums and loonies.

Now stop following me around flapping your wings.

And I am NOT a twisted old git!


Some of the other creatures observe with avid interest. They do not have sore feet. And they aren't traumatized sick old codgers with horrendous tempers. They are sweetness and light and good cheer, and perhaps if I let Sydney Fylbert take regular leaks on my nasty old lower extremities, I will eventually be like them. Stanky like a much used urinal, of course, and they won't come close, but that's just the price I'll have to pay.


They are willing to make that sacrifice.
Gee willikers, how "kind" of them.
My cup runneth over.



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