FULL OF JAVA

Why, you may ask, is the crazy Dutchman up at the crack of dawn when it is still miserable outside, and he is not going to work today? It's a good question. Rest assured, existential angst has nothing to do with being up at this horrid hour on a non-work day.
Nor does perversion or outright insanity.

In another five weeks I'm heading to my cardiologist. After which I plan to have a delicious breakfast in Chinatown followed by a pipe smoked near the park before the heat of the day.

In another three weeks I've got an appointment to see my optometrist. After that, breakfast and a pipe. Also in Chinatown.

Today, I'm going to my regular physician down at the clinic. In Chinatown.


Following which I intend to have breakfast and a smoke, as well as buying some cigarettes from the Mainland, and visiting my bank. This will require me being fully awake, shaved, and bathed before I leave the house. So I'm having coffee and a smoke early. It's mental preparation. Steel the mind and make sure everything is fully functioning.

San Francisco is a very lonely place out in the early morning fog, gringo. The only creatures you encounter are yuppies and hounds connected to each other by strips of leather, one of them defecating. If they weren't busy doing that the'd probably hunt you down and feed you to the gila monsters that live under the apartment buildings here, still torpid from the cold.

Either Fluffy or Byron may have had too much pizza last night. He looks green.

Neither are fully awake. They haven't had their oatmilk latte.


What they need, obviously, is two strong cups of coffee, a fresh croissant, a newspaper, and a warm bathroom in which to read the sports pages. With an ashtray hidden underneath the sink that Ashley doesn't know about. She'd have a fit if she knew.



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