HOW TO SMELL LIKE A CHINESE GRANDMA!

For generations, Hong Kong people and Chinatown residents have used topical liniments like 正骨水 ('jeng gwat seui'), 保心安油 ('pou sam on yau'), 白花油 ('paak faa yau'), plus Tiger Balm (虎標萬金油 'fu piu maan kam yau') for aches and pains. Usage of such products increases with age or proximity to the elderly, rising to a crescendo the worse both years and the attentions of old people get. Mmm, medicated! Camphor! And eucalyptus!

If you are a martial arts practitioner, you probably use 跌打酒 ('dit daa yeuk'), which is often compounded proprietarily by kung fu teachers and local pharmacies.

A casual nickname in English for all these products is "grandma oil".
A whiff of one of them, and hints of sandalwood incense smoke, bring back memories for many second or third generation people. Far more so than the faint odors of shrimp paste, fermented fish, and garlic-scallion-ginger.

Personally, I seldom use them.

I don't want my apartment mate to think I'm sick. Or achy. Or that I am desperately trying to hide that I have been smoking inside. Or even that I'm channeling for an elderly Chinese person, or a soft-in-the-head Caucasian who is into spiritual things and crap.

A better strategem is to either have a pot of herbal muck simmering on the stove all day, for eventual consumption (it includes tea, a stimulant, and ginger, an anti-inflammatory, so it's good for one), or cooking up a snack with lots of chilipaste and maybe curry spices, before she comes home from work. Plus closing her bedroom door firmly when she leaves in the morning, and allowing the place to air out for three hours minimum.
A good time to head out for tea and a pastry.


Incense is something I use sparingly. It is useful when there are mosquitoes, but since being on bloodpressure meds I've noticed that they no longer bite me. I must not taste good.



Word to the wise: When frying something with shrimp paste, open the window wide and close the door, otherwise your apartment will smell like the Cempaka Lodgings near Jalan Utara.



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