Friday, August 14, 2015

POOR LITTLE WOOZUMS! HAVE SOME DRAGON EYE FRUIT!

When I came home yesterday afternoon to freshen up for the club meeting in the evening, my apartment mate was flaked out on her bed, fast asleep. Initially I thought that her damned boyfriend had exhausted her, and I wondered how a wheelchair-bound dingo could have done that. After all, even if he were abled, she could still kick his butt.
Poor little woozums.

But then I recalled that she had earlier in the day washed out her sleeping pants, and called in sick. So a more innocent explanation would be the monthly period.

That, too, is plenty exhausting.

Just ask any man.....

Most of whom become green and weak when that subject is mentioned, as if struck with sudden blood loss and cramps. Their eyes will mist over, and their skin turn clammy. Some might even faint.
Truly, the menses are hard on men.
Poor little woozums.


龍眼 DIMOCARPUS LONGAN

In any case, I got a new taste experience for the dear girl; longans. While on Stockton Street I bought a pound and a half of longan to take home. Longan is a relative of the lychee, with a yellowish-greenish-brownish outer husk and translucent whitish inner flesh surrounding a shiny dark brown pip. Best way to eat them is to split the husk with a thumbnail, halfway across, then use pressure to squeeze out the flesh in one piece. Which can be popped into the mouth, and with teeth and tongue separated from the pip. It's refreshing, and very good for you.

Maintains brain power, among other things, plus it is high in vitamin C.
Longans are also mood-enhancers, and combat tiredness and fatigue.
Generally speaking, they're mildly tonifying to the various organs.

The flesh has been likened to white jade.
As have any number of other things.
It's an over-used descriptive.

The pips are beautiful, inedible, and do not float.


While I was on the bus crossing the hill, an elderly gentleman begged to inform the Mandarin speaker next to him in the old folks seats that those things (longan) were very expensive. I hastened to reassure both of them that five dollars for that quantity of longan was not at all expensive, very reasonable in fact, but I think instead I managed to convince both of them that white folks are incredible spendthrifts. As well as busybodies who listen in. Her daughter, a very attractive young lady in her early twenties with bright eyes, is probably also convinced that white folks who speak Chinese are an incredible pain in the butt.
One more poor little woozums.

Earlier, she had been hugely embarrassed by her inability to understand a single word of Toishanese, OR the courtesies expected of a well-brought up girl-child when rickety fossils need a seat -- yes, that seat, that one there -- as well as by both of her parents pulling her upright. Then, further up the hill, it turned out Mandarin wasn't her strong suit either. Her mom politely explained to the Toishanese coot that the girl had been born in the United States, and had not had much opportunity to practice Chinese. "Oh well", says the fossil, "then I cannot hold it against her, she probably speaks English passably, eh?". There was no evidence for that assertion, as the girl kept silent.

Her father, on the other side of the wizened gnome, put his head in his hands and desperately tried to ignore everything going on about him. The girl, not quite knowing what was going on, looked resentful and irritated. The mother sussed the antique from Toisan by explaining that American kids usually don't know much. Or anything at all.
I could hear the father moan.

The superannuated old stick insect politely changed the subject. What had brought them to Chinatown (given that they were clearly prosperous outsiders who normally would never go there)? Oh, seeing sights and eating food? Yes, there is some very nice food in the neighborhood. And cheap, too! Except, and here he pointed at my bag of longan, for things like that. Very expensive!

很貴啦!

At which point I opined that longan weren't expensive, quite affordable in fact. You know, I really feel sorry for American-born Chinese kids when there are so many middle-aged Caucasians who can understand Chinese, and don't feel at all embarrassed to step in and say whatever they want. White dudes have absolutely no sensitivity, and whenever they speak it only makes everyone else look bad.
It's really excrutiating! Jeez!


DRAGON EYES

Five dollars for a bag of longan is quite reasonable.
That girl would look nicer if she smiled more.
Plenty cute though, even when frowning.
Maybe she needs some longan.
Poor little woozums.


And yes, for your information, like all white guys who speak Chinese, my accent is horrible, and I am a giant pain in the butt.




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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stephen Hawkings was able to father 3 children, even when wheel chair bound.

The back of the hill said...

Stephen Hawking is a ruddy genius.

Onanymous said...

Does Stephen Hawking prefer nipples or longan?

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